37 Kai Parker Quotes — A Crowd Favorite from 'The Vampire Diaries'

Kai Parker, portrayed by actor Chris Wood, is a fan-favorite character from the supernatural TV series "The Vampire Diaries." Known for his sinister humor, self-reflection, and life experience, he has delivered some of the show's most memorable and entertaining quotes. Read these 37 quotes to get to know him better.

Kai Parker joined "The Vampire Diaries" in its sixth season and captured the hearts of fans. He is a witch-turned-vampire some fans consider the best villain in the series. His character is known for his complex and unpredictable traits that keep viewers on the edge of their seats.

One of his most notable traits is his sociopathic behavior. He lacks empathy and has a history of violent and impulsive actions, making him a formidable antagonist. However, he also possesses a charismatic charm that can be disarming to those around him, making it difficult to predict his next move.

Additionally, he has a sense of humor and brings comedic relief to the series. His wit and humor are integral to his character, making him more relatable and likable despite his evil deeds. Read these 37 Kai Parker quotes to get lost in his world.

Kai Parker's quote: "Like water just oozing out of my eyeballs like I'm some alien creature excreting fluids." | Source: Facebook.com/thevampirediaries

Kai Parker Quotes Filled with Sinister Humor

"Who names their kid Malachai? It's like they expected me to be evil." — Kai Parker

"Why are jeans so tight when phones are so big?" — Kai Parker

"I'm that guy, right? That guy that won't shut up. Oh, I hate that guy." — Kai Parker

"Sorry, manners. I'm Kai; nice to meet you. Pork rind?" — Kai Parker

Kai Parker's quote: "Who names their kid Malachai? It's like they expected me to be evil." | Source: Facebook.com/thevampirediaries

"Yay, you saw the post-it! [fake robotic voice] This message will self destruct in ten seconds." — Kai Parker

"What can I say? I'm all heart. Hey, look at this, we're beard bros!" — Kai Parker

"Let me say hi! Let me say hi!" — Kai Parker

"Like, say, you were in 747 flying over Mystic Falls, would you die? You know, that could be dangerous, like if you're headed to New York and your pilot reroutes for weather." — Kai Parker

Kai Parker's quote: "Yay, you saw the post-it! [fake robotic voice] This message will self destruct in ten seconds." | Source: Facebook.com/thevampirediaries

"Josie? Yoo-hoo, Lizzie? Come out where Uncle Kai can see you. I have a small axe to grind… Well, not so small." — Kai Parker

"Crushed it. Literal mic drop." — Kai Parker

"The useless one is here. Thank god." — Kai Parker

"It's just not as threatening when I'm seeing four super blurry versions of you." — Kai Parker

Kai Parker's quote: "Josie? Yoo-hoo, Lizzie? Come out where Uncle Kai can see you. I have a small axe to grind… Well, not so small." | Source: Facebook.com/thevampirediaries

Kai Parker Quotes Filled with Self-Reflection

"Feelings are hard." — Kai Parker

"At least my coffee will never get cold in hell." — Kai Parker

"I think I'm on the wait list for heaven, but they're not returning my calls." — Kai Parker

"You're brave, loyal, patient. I want to be more like you." — Kai Parker

Kai Parker's quote: "Feelings are hard." | Source: Facebook.com/thevampirediaries

"In case you haven't figured it out by now, I'm a sociopath. I know. Shocker." — Kai Parker

"See, when your family decides that you're nothing but an irredeemable piece of trash, well, guess the best thing to do is prove them right, right?" — Kai Parker

"It feels like I'm being dragged back to hell..." — Kai Parker

"That vampire who tried to turn you into a Capri Sun, she's the real monster. Her and her cronies run this world." — Kai Parker

Kai Parker's quote: "In case you haven't figured it out by now, I'm a sociopath. I know. Shocker." | Source: Facebook.com/thevampirediaries

"Like water just oozing out of my eyeballs like I'm some alien creature excreting fluids." — Kai Parker

"You two are the closest thing I have to a TV. I mean, you're no "Baywatch," but..." — Kai Parker

"This faux merge is clearly failing because I was supposed to get your magic, right? Just—I don't know—Put it in a—Put it in a Teddy bear or a bed pan or whatever and gimmie!" — Kai Parker

Kai Parker's quote: "You two are the closest thing I have to a TV. I mean, you're no "Baywatch," but..." | Source: Facebook.com/thevampirediaries

Kai Parker Quotes Full of His Life Experience

"Hello, Clarice." — Kai Parker

"You are everything I didn't know I was looking for." — Kai Parker

"Ah. Memories. Pitter-patter of little siblings' feet, witchy-woo, chanting in the air, mom and dad calling me an abomination." — Kai Parker

"Selfie city!" — Kai Parker

"Hi sleepyhead, remember me?" — Kai Parker

Kai Parker's quote: "You are everything I didn't know I was looking for." | Source: Facebook.com/thevampirediaries

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"Oh, I am, and you are one of the Saltzman twins. I can smell the Gemini on you. The real question is ... are you Linda or Joanie? I can never tell you two apart." — Kai Parker

"I had a soft spot for one of my sisters..." — Kai Parker

"By the way, how much does that suck about Patrick Swayze?" — Kai Parker

"Are you guys talking about Bonnie Bennett? Because honestly, I didn't think she was all that great." — Kai Parker

Kai Parker's quote: "I had a soft spot for one of my sisters..." | Source: Facebook.com/thevampirediaries

As an exceptionally powerful siphoner, Kai Parker possesses unique magical skills that set him apart from other witches in the Vampire Diaries universe. Unlike other witches who draw power from the earth or their ancestors, Kai can siphon the magical energy from different sources and redirect it for his own use.

Kai's siphoning ability also allows him to absorb and neutralize the magic of others, making him a formidable opponent in magical battles. He can also use his siphoning ability to temporarily disable the powers of other supernatural beings, including vampires and werewolves.

Additionally, he can cast spells and perform other magical feats using the magic he siphons, making him a versatile and dangerous adversary. Read about another villain from the series in these Katherine Pierce quotes.