34 Jess Mariano Quotes: Smooth One-Liners from ‘Gilmore Girls’ Bad Boy

Jess Mariano is witty, funny, rebellious, and intelligent with a bad-boy exterior. Find out more about this charismatic character by reading the 34 quotes below.

Bad boy Jess Mariano from "Gilmore Girls" is one of Rory Gilmore's primary love interests in the show, with many comparing him to her more boy-next-door love interest Dean, a constant debate within the fandom community.

Jess comes from a troubled background, but despite his exterior, he shares a deeper, more sensitive side. He and Rory particularly share a love for books, with Jess even going on to write and publish one of his own. Read 34 of his quotes below to get to know him better.

Jess Mariano, with his quote:"I'm sorry about that. You want to push me in the lake?" | Source: facebook.com/GilmoreGirls

“I was attacked by a swan. Okay, you happy? A stupid swan.” — Jess Mariano

"I was just walking by, and the thing came out of nowhere, and bam! Beaked me right In the eye." — Jess Mariano

"Basket. Basket-Maker. Guy who didn't bring enough money..." — Jess Mariano

"I'm sorry about that. You want to push me in the lake?" — Jess Mariano

"You know, I think I hung my "Tool" T-shirt next to my "Metallica" T-shirt, and they don't really get along." — Jess Mariano

Jess Mariano, with his quote: “I was attacked by a swan. Okay, you happy? A stupid swan.” | Source: facebook.com/GilmoreGirls

"I can't concentrate with your annoying midget voice yammering on and on. It's like having Stuart Little shoved in my ear.” — Jess Mariano

"I like the new look. It's very 'Blue Crush.'" — Jess Mariano

"Hey, I didn't mean to freak you out. I'm sorry. I'm sure you'll do it. You will. I promise. I'll help you practice, okay? Tomorrow, you'll stand in the middle of the street, and I'll drive at you screaming in a foreign language." — Jess Mariano

Jess Mariano Cute & Romantic Quotes

"Think how dull your life would be without me." — Jess Mariano

Rory Gilmore and Jess Mariano, with his quote: “I don’t want to talk to anybody else. I don’t like anybody else.” | Source: facebook.com/GilmoreGirls

"I love you.” — Jess Mariano

"You know we're supposed to be together, I knew it the first time I saw you two years ago and you know it too." — Jess Mariano

"I know you better than anyone." — Jess Mariano

“I don’t want to talk to anybody else. I don’t like anybody else.” — Jess Mariano

"You're a book tease." — Jess Mariano

Jess Mariano, with his quote: “I love you.” | Source: facebook.com/GilmoreGirls

Emotional & Sad Jess Mariano Quotes

“You have nothing? I have nothing!” — Jess Mariano

"I want to be good. Life's just not letting me." — Jess Mariano

"I couldn't have done it without you." — Jess Mariano

"It is what it is. You. Me." — Jess Mariano

More Jess Mariano Quotes

Jess Mariano, with his quote: "You should write a book." | Source: facebook.com/GilmoreGirls

“Believe me, I'm not quitting my day job.” — Jess Mariano

"So, where do you want to go?" — Jess Mariano

"Well, I just prefer not going someplace that has food in the title." — Jess Mariano

"You should write a book." — Jess Mariano

"Andy Warhol did it all the time." — Jess Mariano

Jess Mariano, with his quote: “Does she know what I look like?” | Source: facebook.com/GilmoreGirls

"I'm sorry. I thought this was the uniform." — Jess Mariano

"Olive, chili, soup. No gardens. No plantations." — Jess Mariano

"I just wanted to put some notes in the margins for you." — Jess Mariano

“Does she know what I look like?” — Jess Mariano

Rory Gilmore and Jess Mariano, with his quote: “Believe me, I'm not quitting my day job.” | Source: facebook.com/GilmoreGirls

"And I didn't think you'd believe it if I didn't show it to you in person." — Jess Mariano

"It’s a crazy world we live in.” — Jess Mariano

"I mean with you. What's going on with you?" — Jess Mariano

"Just sounds a little too rough for you." — Jess Mariano

Luke Danes and Jess Mariano, with Mariano’s quote: "Think how dull your life would be without me." | Source: facebook.com/GilmoreGirls

Jess Mariano is played by Milo Ventimiglia, who recently took on the memorable role of patriarch Jack Pearson in the drama "This Is Us," alongside other actors such as Mandy Moore, Justin Hartley, Sterling K. Brown, Chrissy Metz, and more.

To dive deeper into the world of "Gilmore Girls," read these 57 Paris Geller quotes.