57 Paris Geller Quotes - ‘Gilmore Girls’ Iconic Character

Paris Geller, played by actress Liza Well in the famous "Gilmore Girls" series, doesn't spare anyone who gets on her nerves. She's infamous for her ruthless honesty and unpleasant attitude. Read these 57 Paris Geller quotes to know her better.

Looking for a person to share your heart's concerns on a bad day? Well, Paris Geller is definitely not your person in that scenario. She'd be twice as rude as you'd expect a stranger to be and make your day worse.

Paris Geller, known for her eccentric personality and bad temper from the popular show "Gilmore Girls," is not afraid to confront people with her nasty statements. She occasionally—or rather, always—crosses those delicate lines of human decency and comes across as cruel, mean, and downright terrifying.

While most of Paris's traits make it difficult to approach her, she's not all bad. She is also a perfectionist and a hard worker. Here are 57 Paris Geller quotes to help you understand why she is who she is and what makes her a fiercely honest person.

Quote from "Gilmore Girls": “Paris: That really how you look when you first get up? Rory: Yes. Paris: Nothing in my life is fair.” | Source: AmoDays

Paris Geller Quotes and Dialogues Full of Humor

"I can scare the stupid out of you, but the lazy runs deep." – Paris Geller

"Rory: There's this big event happening in my town.

Paris: Pig race?

Rory: Dance marathon.

Paris: I was close." – "Gilmore Girls"

"Lorelai: Hello, Paris. Were we expecting you?

Paris: You should have been!" – "Gilmore Girls"

"Paris: That really how you look when you first get up?

Rory: Yes.

Paris: Nothing in my life is fair." – "Gilmore Girls"

Quote from "Gilmore Girls": “Rory: I swear to God. Paris: Are you atheist? Rory: Excuse me? Paris: Because that affects the validity of your swearing to God.” | Source: AmoDays

"Paris: You don't want to go. It's not you.

Rory: I have multiple personalities, it might be one of me." – "Gilmore Girls"

"Rory: I swear to God.

Paris: Are you atheist?

Rory: Excuse me?

Paris: Because that affects the validity of your swearing to God." – "Gilmore Girls"

"The Oppenheimer Award for Excellence in school journalism is not a contest. It's a statement. It says you're the best. The best writers, the best reporters, the best editors. It says that you have crushed all others who have dared to take you on. It says that every other single school in the United States of America is feeling nothing but shame and defeat and pain because of the people who won the Oppenheimer plaque. I wanna be those people, I wanna cause that pain." – Paris Geller

Quote from "Gilmore Girls": “Paris: Okay, has everyone finished reading? Louise: Oh, are we reading these now? Rory: That's why we've all been kind of quiet for the last ten minutes. Louise: I thought it was like, prayer time or whatever.” | Source: AmoDays

"Rory: Jamie just asked you out on a date.

Paris: He did?

Rory: Yes

Paris: Did I accept?

Rory: Yes.

Paris: I'm going out on a date?

Rory: Yes you are.

Paris: Oh man, I finally get asked out on a date and I missed it. Was it a good ask out?

Rory: It was a very good ask out.

Paris: God I wish I'd been there." – "Gilmore Girls"

"Paris: Okay, has everyone finished reading?

Louise: Oh, are we reading these now?

Rory: That's why we've all been kind of quiet for the last ten minutes.

Louise: I thought it was like, prayer time or whatever." – "Gilmore Girls"

"Richard: What makes you think you can get a young person to spend good money on something that they can get "for free", or at least at a lower cost?

Paris: Because I know one thing about the modern teenager.

Richard: And what is that?

Paris: That you can get them to buy anything as long as it comes in a leopard print.

Louise: True.

Madeline: Very True." – "Gilmore Girls"

Quote from "Gilmore Girls": “Paris: God, this is so weird. I can't stop smiling. Rory: Good, then it's a good time to talk about our over taxed peasants. Paris: Oh, let them eat cake.” | Source: AmoDays

"They took my tray! I can't believe they took my tray! All I did was go and tell them I wanted some new asparagus and they took my tray! Well I also told them to buy a slightly looser hairnet. One that wouldn't squish the part of the brain that can judge depth and measurement. And they took my tray. But still... Now what? (Paris points at Rory's untouched food tray) You gonna eat that?" – Paris Geller

"Paris: Just making an observation.

Rory: Great. We'll build a dome over you and jam a telescope in your head." – "Gilmore Girls"

"Paris: God, this is so weird. I can't stop smiling.

Rory: Good, then it's a good time to talk about our over-taxed peasants.

Paris: Oh, let them eat cake." – "Gilmore Girls"

"How's the coleslaw? Good?" – Paris Geller

Paris Geller’s quote: “I am not cut out to deal with people.” | Source: AmoDays

"Paris: Don't make that face at me!

Rory: What face? I'm wearing a mask.

Paris: The "I'm Rory, don't you want to pet me?" face." – "Gilmore Girls"

Paris Geller Quotes Full of Sarcastic Venom

"I came here because of your reputation. Don't make me destroy that reputation." – Paris Geller

"Well anyone who hangs out with Butch Cassidy and the Sun-dunce kid deserve whatever they get." – Paris Geller

"I've already made a list of my enemies, which I've narrowed down from 26 to five." – Paris Geller

"I am not cut out to deal with people." – Paris Geller

"Paris: (to Rory) You'll never beat me. This school is my domain and the Franklin is my domain. And don't you ever forget that." – Paris Geller

Paris Geller’s quote: “Have I ever been mistaken for a patient person?” | Source: AmoDays

"No glove, no love..." – Paris Geller

"You offer nothing to women or the world in general." – Paris Geller

"I already wrote his name in my revenge notebook." – Paris Geller

"Lousie: Princess Grace didn't go to college.

Paris: Thank you for the history lesson, A.J. Benza.

Lousie: Take a pill.

Paris: Marry rich." – "Gilmore Girls"

"Have I ever been mistaken for a patient person?" – Paris Geller

"I am not your mother or your hugger [...] My door is not open to you. Ever." – Paris Geller

Paris Geller’s quote: “Sick people freak me out.” | Source: AmoDays

"Rory: You know what, I don't want my change, money makes people shallow.

Paris: I've got your change. Hey! Hey! If you think I'm keeping this dollar, I'm not!

Boy next to Paris: I'll take it.

Paris: Shut up!" – "Gilmore Girls"

"Sick people freak me out." – Paris Geller

"Paris: Hey, you know, not everybody can be smart. As my mother always says, "somebody has to answer the phones."

Madeline: Okay, I have no idea what you two are talking about.

Paris: No, but Rory does." – "Gilmore Girls"

Paris Geller’s quote: “Give Me More Homework. It'll Keep My Mind Off My Life.” | Source: AmoDays

Paris Geller Quotes about Life

"I ate a family-sized bag of potato chips and went to bed at seven-thirty." – Paris Geller

"Give Me More Homework. It'll Keep My Mind Off My Life." – Paris Geller

"Paris: I don't know what to wear.

Rory: Ever?" – "Gilmore Girls"

"And, no company has a higher approval rating. Did you check Yelp?" – Paris Geller

"Paris: A "D," however, that would be cause for concern.

Louise: A cry for help.

Paris: A job application at McDonald's.

Louise: Would you like fries with that?" – "Gilmore Girls"

Paris Geller’s quote: “I'd better get going. I'm going to break out in rash any second.” | Source: AmoDays

"Paris: The average teenager spends seven hours a day at school. Seven hours where he or she is busy walking from class to class indoors, outdoors, in all types of weather. At the same time, that same teenager is going through major physical changes within his or her own body. The combo of the action with the environment in addition to the hormonal imbalance can only lead to one thing accidents.

Madeline: What are you talking about?

Paris: Monday morning, Muffin wakes up and looks in the mirror. 'Oh no, I have a zit on my face. I'll just look down when I walk so hunky football player won't notice.' And bam! Muffin smacks right into the cafeteria wall. Ouch, that's gotta hurt.

Madeline: Who's Muffin?" – "Gilmore Girls"

"Paris: My mother is having the entire place redone, she wants all evidence of my father out of there. So unless you want to sit on no furniture, while watching three Harvey Fierstein impersonators rip up the carpet and paint everything a ridiculous shade of white and call it 'angel's kiss' then we're going to have to find somebody else's house to go to.

Madeline: My brother has the measles.

Louise: My mom's having an affair." – "Gilmore Girls"

"I Swear, I Do Not Recognize Half Of These People." – Paris Geller

Quote from "Gilmore Girls": “Paris: I just wanted to tell you again that I had so much fun last night. Tristan: Yeah, after five messages on my answering machine, I kinda got that impression.” | Source: AmoDays

"Paris: Because people think you're nice. You're quiet, you say excuse me, you look like little birds help you get dressed in the morning. People don't fear you.

Rory: Hey, I haven't been dressed by a bird since I was two." – "Gilmore Girls"

"Paris: Why are they letting all these extra people in? They just take up space and screw up the curve. We don't need any new kids here.

Louise: Too late." – "Gilmore Girls"

"Paris: I just wanted to tell you again that I had so much fun last night.

Tristan: Yeah, after five messages on my answering machine, I kinda got that impression." – "Gilmore Girls"

"Paris: What if I fall for him but he doesn't like me?

Rory: You'll find someone else.

Paris: What if there is no one else?

Rory: Then you'll get some cats." – "Gilmore Girls"

Paris Geller’s quote: “No men, just lots and lots of Chinese food.” | Source: AmoDays

"Paris: You need to follow a study schedule. I've been telling you that since second grade.

Louise: Which worries both of us." – "Gilmore Girls"

"Lorelai: (looking for Madeline and Louise) Hi, I was wondering if college boys live here or friends of college boys and if they had...

Woman: I don't talk to people. People annoy me! (Slams door)

Lorelai: Okay. (Keeps knocking on doors)

Paris: She's going to knock on every door in the building, isn't she?

Rory: Yup.

(Sookie knocks on a door, and a dog barks loudly)

Sookie: Aah! Let's follow your mother!

Paris: I wonder if I was missing if my mom would come looking for me like that.

Rory: Paris, you know she would.

Paris: Yeah. Or at least she'd send somebody." – "Gilmore Girls"

Quote from "Gilmore Girls": "Paris: I don't know what to wear. Rory: Ever?" | Source: AmoDays

"No men, just lots and lots of Chinese food." – Paris Geller

"Paris: Read my manifesto, I want your thoughts.

Rory: First thought - lose the word 'manifesto.'

Paris: Too cabin-in-the-woods?

Rory: Don't open your mail.

Paris: Right." – "Gilmore Girls"

Paris: Of course she is.

Rory: Gee, thanks.

Paris: I didn't mean it that way, I just meant--

Rory: I mean, I don't think she'd recommend it, but I think she's happy with the way things turned out.

Lorelai: (walking in) I am?

Rory: Yes, you are.

Lorelai: Okay. Just checking." – Paris Geller

Paris Geller’s quote: “You offer nothing to women or the world in general.” | Source: AmoDays

"Paris: I can't do this.

Rory: What?

Paris: Date. I can't date. I'm not genetically set up for it.

Rory: Not true.

Paris: I get no pleasure out of the prospect or the preparation. I'm covered in hives, I've showered four times, and for what? Some guy who doesn't even have the brains to buy a Zagat..." – "Gilmore Girls"

"Paris: According to the rules, we're not supposed to have dairy forty-eight hours before the debate. Did you eat any dairy today?

Rory: The milk in my cereal?

Paris: WHAT?!

Lorelai: Rory, your dad's on the phone.

Rory: Okay! (Takes phone)

Paris: (to Lorelai) Did you give her the milk?

Lorelai: Uh, I'd rather not say." – "Gilmore Girls"

"Madeline: So I've decided I'm now completely into Judy Garland. Did you see the TV movie? Pretty intense.

Louise: I think they used my mother's medicine cabinet in that.

Madeline: She was the Courtney Love of her day.

Paris: Show me a trend and I'll show you Madeline.

Madeline: Judy Garland is trendy?

Paris: Completely." – "Gilmore Girls"

Paris Geller’s quote: “No glove, no love...” | Source: AmoDays

In conclusion, once someone gets on Paris Geller's nerves, her cruel remarks can make their lives horrible. Her persona, however, extends beyond the stereotypical evil girl. Paris is very straightforward and does not sugarcoat anything.

On her first day as Yale Daily's editor, she clarifies to her employees that she is a boss, not someone's support system, in case they come to her with their concerns. When it comes to work, she is entirely focused on her job, like a true professional.

Paris has her own charisma, and she's someone who'd prefer a more professional approach to things rather than putting on a show and seeming to care. The no-nonsense girl she is makes fans love her. Read about another compelling character in Mr. Feeny's quotes.

Wait, are you still wondering where your favorite starts at? Read more about Liza Weil's romance with co-star Charlie Weber here. More on the "Gilmore Girls" star Alexis Bledel here.