43 Best Quotes from 'Veep' Dripping with Satire and Dark Humor
Put together controversial politics with contentious humor, and you have a masterpiece. Read these 43 No. 1 best quotes from "Veep."
"Veep" is an edgy award-winning show. Its humor is excellent and superbly alleviates—the darker, underlying commentary on United States politics.
Politician Selena Meyer is the main character who embodies the show's satirical, hilarious, and iconic moments. While she is, objectively, not a good person, audiences can't get enough of her sharp tongue and ruthless demeanor.
Of course, all the characters have their lines that contribute to the general essence of the show. Read 43 of the best quotes from "Veep" to either get a taste or find some inspiration to binge-watch the brilliant comedy once again.
Selina Meyer with her quote: "Politics is about people." | Source: Facebook.com/veep
'Veep' Quotes Overloaded with Satire
“We all know the White House would work so much better if there wasn't a President, but there is, so we work around that.” — Ben Cafferty
"Who else has a bucketful of senators?" — Selina Meyer
"I need to show that I'm alone, fierce she-wolf." — Selina Meyer
"I was married to a Devil Dog, but he wasn't a Marine. He was more of a devil." — Selina Meyer
"Gary Walsh: Oh, my God. Is she falling asleep?
Amy Brookheimer: No, she cannot fall asleep on live TV. Not on C-SPAN. The irony would be too huge." — "Veep"
Selina Meyer, with her quote: "I, as President of the United States, have actually achieved something. Which is virtually unheard of." | Source: Facebook.com/veep
"And you know why? Because they're ignorant and they're dumb... And that, ladies and gentlemen, is democracy." — Selina Meyer
"If there is any dirty trick I cannot stand, it is honesty." — Amy Brookheimer
"You are going to change America in a way that usually only war and fluoride can." — Kent Davison
"Please, God, deliver Jonah to Congress and then give him any kind of cancer, I don’t care." — Selina Meyer
“I'm the Vice President of the United States... These people should be begging me! That door should be half its height so that people can only approach me in my office on their goddamn...knees!” — Selina Meyer
Selina Meyer, with her quote, “What is that skirt? Is it a rug?" | Source: Facebook.com/veep
"I, as President of the United States, have actually achieved something. Which is virtually unheard of." — Selina Meyer
“Someone has just flown two planes into my career.” — Jonah Ryan
"I need you to make me not have said that." — Selina Meyer
“Selina Meyer: Can I really blame another country for something they didn't do?
Ben Cafferty: It's been the cornerstone of American foreign policy since the Spanish-American War.” — "Veep"
Most Hilarious 'Veep' Quotes
“I don't have room in my head for yogurt.” — Selina Meyer
“Jonah Ryan: It's my personality that has gotten us this far.
Jeff Kane: No, I am the one who got us this far, you sentient enema.” — "Veep"
Gary Walsh, with his quote: "VP stands for 'very precious.'” | Source: Facebook.com/veep
“I gotta go make noises out of my face hole or whatever it is I do.” — Mike McLintock
“Ray Whelans: The brain is a muscle.
Kent Davison: No, it isn't.” — "Veep"
“Europe used to be my favorite continent. Now it's not even in my Top-5.” — Selina Meyer
“Comedy songs are the mark of a douchebag.” — Dan Egan
“Get your own ear, Van Gogh.” — Gary Walsh
Selina Meyer, with her quote: "With your face, when you attempt to come across as charming, it really does come off as evil." | Source: Facebook.com/veep
"Well, I have huge news. In fact, I guarantee you that my news is front-page news. Your news is probably more like a page six, Kardashian… news." — Selina Meyer
"Kent Davison: The only unthinkable thing is that anything is unthinkable.
Ben Cafferty: Kent majored in fortune cookies.” — "Veep"
“What is that skirt? Is it a rug?" — Selina Meyer
"Do people not use sentences anymore?" — Selina Meyer
Mike McLintock, with his quote: “I gotta go make noises out of my facehole or whatever it is I do.” | Source: Facebook.com/veep
"Gary Walsh: What did you do?
Amy Brookheimer: You know what I did? I went to bed at 7:00 p.m.
Gary Walsh: Ooh.
Amy Brookheimer: 7:00 p.m. on a Saturday night. Even people who are dying of malaria stay up later than that.
Gary Walsh: Well, they can't sleep because they're coughing." — "Veep"
Veep Quotes from Iconic Moments of the Series
"Politics is about people." — Selina Meyer
“'Cause I've met some people, ok? Real people. And a lot of them are… idi*ts.” — Selina Meyer
"VP stands for 'very precious.'" — Gary Walsh
Jonah Ryan, with his quote: “Someone has just flown two planes into my career.” | Source: Facebook.com/veep
"You have more nervous tics than a shoe bomber." — Amy Brookheimer
"You look so good you're like a work of art." — Jonah Ryan
“I respect your brevity. It's almost threatening." — Kent Davison
"I've got to get out of here before I set fire to one of these nerds." — Selina Meyer
"You know, they say all babies are cute, but whoever 'they' are, should be stuck in a stroller and pushed into traffic." — Amy Brookheimer
Kent Davison, with his quote: ‘The only unthinkable thing is that anything is unthinkable.” | Source: Facebook.com/veep
“Well, guess what. I work hard, and I play hard... That's my credo..."—Jonah Ryan
“Dan, you're going to have to clean up your own… diaper.” — Selina Meyer
"With your face, when you attempt to come across as charming, it really does come off as evil." — Selina Meyer
“I'm going to throw up a leg.” — Selina Meyer
“Hallowes: Hey, did you fire your tweet monkey yet? Because that guy is a weapons-grade [expletive].
Selina: I know.
Hallowes: I think you might have been hoist by your own [expletive] there.” — "Veep"
Kent Davison, with his quote: "You are going to change America in a way that usually only war and fluoride can." | Source: Facebook.com/veep
“Sonic boom in the room.” — Jonah Ryan
"Why don't you put your running shoes on and get to the point?" — Selina Meyer
“I actually wrote it in my diary and stared at it for a full five minutes.” — Gary Walsh
"Kiss you, miss you.” — Mike McLintock
Two character’s from “Veep” with Gary Walsh’s quote: “Get your own ear, Van Gogh.” | Source: Facebook.com/veep
The show's satirical, funny, and iconic lines and moments can teach us so much about media and the perspective it can push you into.
Through "Veep," a character such as Meyer would not be too endearing, but add some witty satire and good jokes plus iconic and influential moments, and audiences will struggle to, at least, completely dislike her.
Meyer's character is central to the show and deserves to be explored. To do so, read 24 Selina Meyer Quotes: 'Veep’s' Political Powerhouse with a Black Heart.
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