35 Charlie Kelly Quotes from the Bizarre 'It’s Always Sunny' Character

Life was not always great for Charles Kelly, whose household was unstable growing up. While his experiences impacted his character, Charles remains humorous and high-spirited alongside his gang in South Philadelphia.

Charles Kelly is one of the many hilarious characters in "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" who experienced a turbulent childhood. Now an adult, Charles is part of a group of narcissistic and bizarre group called The Gang, who run a pub in South Philadelphia.

The friends often spend their days drinking, debating, and plotting against those around them. Interestingly, their plans often go south and make a hilarious premise for every episode.

Charlie Kelly with his quote: "What is this word 'spa'? I feel like you're starting to say a word, and you're not finishing it. Are you trying to say 'Spaghetti'? Are you taking me for a spaghetti day?" | Source: Facebook/alwayssunny

Funny Charlie Kelly Quotes

"I eat stickers all the time, dude." – Charlie Kelly

"Oh My God! I will smash your face into-into a jelly." – Charlie Kelly

"What is this word 'spa'? I feel like you're starting to say a word, and you're not finishing it. Are you trying to say 'Spaghetti'? Are you taking me for a spaghetti day?" – Charlie Kelly

"Well, I'm the bad guy then." – Charlie Kelly

"Look, buddy. I know a lot about the law and the various other lawerings. I'm well educated. Well versed. I know that situations like this real estate wise-they're very complex." – Charlie Kelly

Charlie Kelly with his quote: "Just get a job? Why don't I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down a job cannon and fire off into job land, where jobs grow on jobbies!" | Source: Facebook/alwayssunny

"All right, look at this: sometimes you've got to crack a few eggs to make an omelet." – Charlie Kelly

"I'm cracking eggs of wisdom." – Charlie Kelly

"Just get a job? Why don't I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down a job cannon and fire off into jobland, where jobs grow on jobbies!" – Charlie Kelly

"You're telling me that you believe that Christ comes back to life every Sunday in the form of a bowl of crackers, and you proceed to just eat the man?" – Charlie Kelly

"Alright, well, I'm gonna check it out anyway. There could be something delicious in here that wasps do make, and I want that." – Charlie Kelly

Charlie Kelly with his quote: "You're telling me that you believe that Christ comes back to life every Sunday in the form of a bowl of crackers, and you proceed to just eat the man?" | Source: Facebook/alwayssunny

"Look at the door, dude. See that door there? The one marked 'Pirate'? You think a pirate lives in there?" – Charlie Kelly

"Cannibalism? Racism? Dude, that's not for us. Those decisions are better left to the suits in Washington." – Charlie Kelly

"You know what, dude, hear me out for a second, okay? Now, technically, that strain did appear to me. Also, I am familiar with carpentry, and I don't know who my father is. So, am I the messiah? I don't know, I could be. I'm not ruling it out." – Charlie Kelly

"I'll pull a Good Will Hunting. What's your major, dude?" – Charlie Kelly

Iconic Charlie Kelly Quotes

"Although really I specialize in bird law. So I don't wanna mess around." – Charlie Kelly

Charlie Kelly with his quote: "Alright, well, I'm gonna check it out anyway, there could be something delicious in here that wasps do make, and I want that." | Source: Facebook/alwayssunny

"That lawyer guy, okay? He totally besmirched me today, and I demand satisfaction from him." – Charlie Kelly

"I'll take that advice under cooperation, alright? Let's say you and I go toe-to-toe on bird law and see who comes out the victor." – Charlie Kelly

"Glue is for huffing, dude!" – Charlie Kelly

"Oh my God, dude, relax. Dude, I forgot to put on deodorant, okay?" – Charlie Kelly

Charlie Kelly with his quote: "Look at the door, dude. See that door there? The one marked 'Pirate'? You think a pirate lives in there?" | Source: Facebook/alwayssunny

"As far as we're concerned, your honor, those ballots could have been for Mickey Mouse." – Charlie Kelly

"Here's a confession: I'm in love with a man. What? I'm in love with a man, a man named God. Does that make me gay? Am I gay for God? You betcha." – Charlie Kelly

"You could chop a camel right in the hump and drink all of its milk right off the tip of this thing." – Charlie Kelly

"You wanna talk about stress? You wanna talk about stress? Okay! I've stumbled onto a major company conspiracy, Mac – how about that for stress?" – Charlie Kelly

"I'm serious. I will eat that eraser whole." – Charlie Kelly

"I love the dark. I love slippery things. I love being naked in the sewer. Bleach smells good. It tastes good." – Charlie Kelly

Charlie Kelly Quotes That Just Make Sense

"I'll just regress because I feel I've made myself perfectly redundant." – Charlie Kelly

Charlie Kelly with his quote: "Cannibalism? Racism? Dude, that's not for us. Those decisions are better left to the suits in Washington." | Source: Facebook/alwayssunny

"When I showed up this morning, I didn't have a formal resume on me, so I was sort of hoping the photograph of Mr. Jenner could represent the standard of excellence I'm hoping to bring to this position." – Charlie Kelly

"If animals have taught me anything, it's that you can easily die and very quickly under a bus and on the side of the road." – Charlie Kelly

"Definitely give me another one of those. They're delicious, and you can taste that sort of endangered tang…" – Charlie Kelly

"I'm going to smack everyone into tiny little pieces! – Charlie Kelly

"You know what, dude, hear me out for a second, okay? Now, technically, that stain did appear to me. Also, I am familiar with carpentry, and I don't know who my father is. So, am I the messiah? I don't know. I could be. I'm not ruling it out." – Charlie Kelly

"This costume, the chicks, is gonna go crazy all over it." – Charlie Kelly

"You don't know 'Cahrlie Work.' Well, 'Charlie Work' is like basement stuff, cleaning urinals, blood stuff, your basic slimes, your sludges, anything dead or decaying. I'm on it. I'm dealing with it." – Charlie Kelly

Charlie Kelly with his quote: "If animals have taught me anything, it's that you can easily die and very quickly under a bus and on the side of the road." | Source: Facebook/alwayssunny

"It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" premiered in 2005 and continues to show on television. It stars Charlie Day as Charlie Kelly, Glenn Howerton, Rob McElhenney, Kaitlin Olson, and Danny DeVito.

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