37 April Ludgate Quotes: Epic Lines from the Beloved People-Hating Queen

From setting people on fire to scheduling appointments for February 30, April Ludgate kept the audience entertained with her up-to-no-good antics for seven seasons. In light of it being nearly a decade since "Parks and Recreation" ended, here are 37 of her best lines.

For many, "Parks and Recreation" is comedy at its finest, as it accurately depicts the different types of personalities in the workspace, and at the center of the comedic gold mine that was the show was April Ludgate.

From 2009 until 2015, the sarcastic queen delighted viewers with her sassy one-liners and dry sense of humor, putting Aubrey Plaza, the actress responsible for bringing the roe to life, on the map. For a good giggle, here are 37 quotes from the best legendary April Ludgate.

April Ludgate's quote, "I wasn't listening to anything you just said." | Source: AmoDays

Some of April Ludgate's Lines That Capture Her Dry And Dark Humor

"I hate talking to people." — April Ludgate

"I love games that turn people against each other." — April Ludgate

"I only tell the truth when it makes me sound like I'm lying." — April Ludgate

"I want to tell people what to do, then send them far away from me." — April Ludgate

"I wasn't listening to anything you just said." — April Ludgate

April Ludgate's quote, "My instinct is to be mean to you." | Source: AmoDays

"I wasn't listening to anything you just said." — April Ludgate

"[Dogs] should be rewarded for not being people. I hate people." — April Ludgate

"I'm going to win because I want his happiness to go away." — April Ludgate

"I can convince small children that I'm a witch." — April Ludgate

"My instinct is to be mean to you." — April Ludgate

April Ludgate's quote, "Being nice made me feel terrible." | Source: AmoDays

"I very maturely and straightforwardly left anonymous comments about her online." — April Ludgate

"April: Someone will die.

Andy: Of fun." — "Parks and Recreation"

"Don't try to bond with me." — April Ludgate

"Being nice made me feel terrible." — April Ludgate

April Ludgate's quote, "What? I love garbage." | Source: AmoDays

More of April Ludgate's Funniest Lines

"Thank you, alcohol." — April Ludgate

"Being a responsible adult sucks butts." — April Ludgate

"What? I love garbage." — April Ludgate

"I really only listen to, like, German death reggae. And Halloween sound effect records from the 1950s. And Bette Midler, obviously." — April Ludgate

"That's gross. I love it." — April Ludgate

April Ludgate's quote, "I wasn't listening, but I strongly disagree." | Source: AmoDays

"She's the cold, distant mother I never had…I love her." — April Ludgate

"Is this gonna be one of those cool bachelorette parties where things get out of control, and we murder someone, and then we all have to take a blood oath to never reveal our secret?" — April Ludgate

"I wasn't listening, but I strongly disagree." — April Ludgate

"I think we can agree that all wine tastes the same, and if you spend more than $5 on wine, you are very stupid." — April Ludgate

"She's the worst person I've ever met. I want to travel the world with her." — April Ludgate

April Ludgate's quote, "So, you've gone insane! That's fun." | Source: AmoDays

"I guess I kind of hate most things, but I never really seem to hate you." — April Ludgate

"Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge. Let's go." — April Ludgate

"I declare that everything you are saying is stupid." — April Ludgate

"This is my boyfriend, Derek. This is Derek's boyfriend, Ben." — April Ludgate

"So, you've gone insane! That's fun." — April Ludgate

"Parks and Recreations" quote, "High schooler: Where'd you get that dress? April: I was buried in it." | Source: AmoDays

"Jerry: You look lovely.

April: I'm going to murder you a thousand times." — "Parks and Recreation"

"Alcohol is fun and delicious." — April Ludgate

"I will be providing my world-famous $100 lap dances." — April Ludgate

"High schooler: Where'd you get that dress?

April: I was buried in it." — "Parks and Recreation"

April Ludgate's quote, "I'll have a glass of your most expensive red wine mixed with a glass of your cheapest white wine served in a dog bowl. Silly straws all around, please." | Source: AmoDays

"I'll have a glass of your most expensive red wine mixed with a glass of your cheapest white wine served in a dog bowl. Silly straws all around, please." — April Ludgate

"Horizons are dumb. Never broaden your horizons." — April Ludgate

"The air is so fresh. It's disgusting." — April Ludgate

"We have a couple of house rules, though. You can't use the front door. You have to climb in through the back window. No personal phone conversations. If you ever speak to me in Spanish, please use the formal 'usted.' And no electricity after 6:00 p.m." — April Ludgate

April Ludgate's quote, "The air is so fresh. It's disgusting." | Source: AmoDays

"Parks and Recreations" was a star-studded series, with the cast consisting of familiar faces such as Amy Poehler, Rashida Jones, Chris Pratt, and more. These Hollywood stars played a group of mismatched colleagues who shared wholesome moments when they weren't at each other's throats.

Audrey Plaza has since gone on to land roles in other critically acclaimed shows, such as "White Lotus." However, fans will always remember her as the sarcastic office girl with a deadpan sense of humor. For more quotes, here are 40 'Supergirl' Quotes from the Beloved Fictional Series' Best Characters.