31 Andy Dwyer Quotes: Words from ‘Parks and Recreation’s’ Loveable Goofball

Chris Pratt's Andy Dwyer found his way into the hearts of audiences everywhere with his silly demeanor and naive attitude. Find out more about him by reading the 31 quotes below.

Andy Dwyer, played by Chris Pratt, is one of the main characters in "Parks and Recreation." The character is a goofball in a band called "Mouse Rat," an ode to his silly personality.

Beyond the hilarity of the character itself, his marriage to Aubrey Plaza's character April Ludgate has many fans swooning. This is mainly because they are entirely different from one another, proving the trope that opposites do attract.

Read the 31 quotes below to get to know Dwyer on a deeper level.

A picture of Andy Dwyer with his quote: "I once threw beer at a swan, and then it attacked my niece Rebecca." | Source: youtube.com/ParksandRecreation

Andy Dwyer Funny Quotes

“Aw, babe…you had a crush on me? That’s embarrassing.” — Andy Dwyer

“Anything is a toy if you play with it.” — Andy Dwyer

"They're old people. They eat, they sleep, they complain. Oh my God, I wanna be an old person." — Andy Dwyer

"Okay, something is different about my computer. It's gone!" — Andy Dwyer

“Is that a goose that just flew by the window? Oh, it’s a plastic bag.” — Andy Dwyer

A picture of Andy Dwyer with his quote: “Windows are the eyes to the house." | Source: youtube.com/ParksandRecreation

"I once threw beer at a swan, and then it attacked my niece Rebecca." — Andy Dwyer

"What about Germany? They've never been the bad guys." — Andy Dwyer

“Windows are the eyes to the house." — Andy Dwyer

“I’ve always wanted a doorman named Ernie. Or Kip. I’m pretty flexible on that.” — Andy Dwyer

A picture of Andy Dwyer with his quote: "What about Germany? They've never been the bad guys." | Source: youtube.com/ParksandRecreation

"April is the best. But she’s 20. When April was born, I was already in the third grade, which means if we were friends back then, I would have been hanging out with a baby. I don’t know anything about infant care. My god, I could have killed her." — Andy Dwyer

"Butter is my favorite food." — Andy Dwyer

Quotes of Andy Dwyer Not Being the Sharpest

"If you rearrange the letters of Peru, you could spell Europe." — Andy Dwyer

"Thought the power was flickering out. Turns out, I have was just blinking." — Andy Dwyer

"I didn't actually sell my car. I just forgot where I parked it." — Andy Dwyer

"If you rearrange the letters of Peru, you could spell Europe." | Source: youtube.com/ParksandRecreation

”I don’t know who Al Gore is, and at this point, I’m too afraid to ask.” — Andy Dwyer

"I tried to make ramen in the coffee pot, and I broke everything." — Andy Dwyer

“I cannot emphasize enough how little I was thinking." — Andy Dwyer

“I know what things are.” — Andy Dwyer

”I don’t know who Al Gore is, and at this point, I’m too afraid to ask.” | Source: youtube.com/ParksandRecreation

“I’m allergic to sushi. Every time I eat more than 80 pieces, I throw up.” — Andy Dwyer

"When they say 2% milk, I don't know what the other 98% is." — Andy Dwyer

"I'm gonna say that there is at least a chance that I didn't think this through completely." — Andy Dwyer

Adorable Andy Dwyer Quotes

“I wish I could marry you all over again. (Gasps) Let's get divorced!” — Andy Dwyer

"I'm not crying; I'm allergic to jerks." — Andy Dwyer

"When they say 2% milk, I don't know what the other 98% is." | Source: youtube.com/ParksandRecreation

“I can’t believe we’re at Hogwarts!” — Andy Dwyer

"My whole life is a giant mess, and I love it.” — Andy Dwyer

More Andy Dwyer Quotes

“I wish I could marry you all over again. (Gasps) Let's get divorced!” | Source: youtube.com/ParksandRecreation

"Are you kidding me? I just stuffed a sock in it yesterday. What else do they want me to do?!" — Andy Dwyer

"Well, I can't really do her voice." — Andy Dwyer

"Dude, shut up! That is awesomesauce!" — Andy Dwyer

"My whole life is a giant mess, and I love it.” | Source: youtube.com/ParksandRecreation

Of the many series, the show that people tend to associate and compare with "Parks and Recreation" the most is "The Office," starring the controversial Michael Scott.

As many know, this manager, Scott, was always up to antics, but one stood out—when he pretended to be a prisoner to teach his employees about life behind bars. To learn more about this cringe-worthy episode, read these 47 "Prison Mike" quotes.