32 Quagmire Quotes from ”Family Guy’s” Inapropriate Neighbor

Glenn Quagmire is much more than just your typical friendly neighbor, and the audience has a full view of why exactly that is. Read his 32 quotes below.

Glenn Quagmire is a character from the adult animated show "Family Guy." He is the neighbor of the main family, the Griffins, and works as an airline pilot.

However, less than his profession, his character is categorized by his sexual addiction and how far he will go to satiate these desires. He also has an irksome penchant for cheesy pickup lines, but luckily, he does have more to say. Find out what precisely by reading 32 of his quotes below.

Glenn Quagmire with his quote: “He's a baby who did a baby thing. Let's all calm down a little.” | Source: facebook.com/FamilyGuy

Glenn Quagmire Quotes Full of Absurd and Random Humor

"I'll tell you what you can be in our group if I can have some of your cereal." — Glenn Quagmire

“You're not the same giraffe from last night. Get out of here.” — Glenn Quagmire

“I love eating food that’s sad.” — Glenn Quagmire

“He's a baby who did a baby thing. Let's all calm down a little.” — Glenn Quagmire

"Yeah. You take the venom out of the cobra, and what have you got? You got a...a belt!" — Glenn Quagmire

Glenn Quagmire with his quote: “I love eating food that’s sad.” | Source: facebook.com/FamilyGuy

"Hello, and welcome to another edition of Midnight Q. Tonight we're gonna enjoy some jazz from Charles Mingus. Norman Maylor's here to read an excerpt from his latest work. And we also have a girl from Omaha hiding a banana. We're gonna find out where. Giggity giggity. Giggity goo. Stick around." — Glenn Quagmire

"That's the exit. Of course, in this place, every exit's also an entrance." — Glenn Quagmire

"[In the middle of meditation] I can be Giggity. I can be Goo." — Glenn Quagmire

Dark and Uncomfortable Glenn Quagmire Quotes

Glenn Quagmire with two other characters from “Family Guy” and his quote: “Joe, don't you dare. I'll push you right into traffic.” | Source: facebook.com/FamilyGuy

“Peter neglected to tell me you were a dumpster fire. Some friend, huh?” — Glenn Quagmire

"Sorry, boys. The only tent I'm gonna be pitchin' this weekend is...well, you can see where I'm goin' with this. Oh..." — Glenn Quagmire

“Joe, don't you dare. I'll push you right into traffic.” — Glenn Quagmire

"We're a team like fish and chips and fat guys." — Glenn Quagmire

"I'm an idiot? All anyone remembers from your argument is that you're in a wheelchair!" — Glenn Quagmire

Glenn Quagmire with other characters from “Family Guy” and his quote: “Peter neglected to tell me you were a dumpster fire. Some friend, huh?” | Source: facebook.com/FamilyGuy

"Are we supposed to laugh at that? Because it's upsetting." — Glenn Quagmire

Run of the Mill Funny Glenn Quagmire Quotes

“I might need two weeks off from this friendship.” — Glenn Quagmire

"Well, ya know Lois, I gotta confess, when you called me, I sort of misunderstood what you were asking for. That's why I rushed over, but it's fine, it's fine, I'm happy to help." — Glenn Quagmire

“What a surprise, the mugger’s never heard of Truman Capote.” — Glenn Quagmire

Glenn Quagmire with his quote: “I might need two weeks off from this friendship.” | Source: facebook.com/FamilyGuy

“If cell phones worked, every movie would be two minutes long.” — Glenn Quagmire

"[Sarcastic] No, Peter, it's perfectly normal to siphon jet fuel from an active runway with the intention of flying a pickup truck." — Glenn Quagmire

"Lois, if I may, Peter doesn't [know] you. As a friend, I think you deserve to be with someone who knows how to be a gentleman." — Glenn Quagmire

"I don't want to go to jail, but I really want to take credit." — Glenn Quagmire

“Let’s just say I walked in on John Travolta with not Kelly Preston.” — Glenn Quagmire

More Glenn Quagmire Quotes

Glenn Quagmire with his quote: “If cell phones worked, every movie would be two minutes long.” | Source: facebook.com/FamilyGuy

"Hey, baby, how'd you like to share a pair of skates?" — Glenn Quagmire

“Giggity, giggity, goo!” — Glenn Quagmire

"What are you doing?" — Glenn Quagmire

"It was a snickers wrapper, Brian. I held up a Snickers wrapper." — Glenn Quagmire

"How long you been in beauty school?" — Glenn Quagmire

Glenn Quagmire with another character from “Family Guy” and his quote: “Giggity, giggity, goo!” | Source: facebook.com/FamilyGuy

"Never mind. Boy, you look a lot better from the back." — Glenn Quagmire

"Well, tonight, we're doing facials!" — Glenn Quagmire

“Come on beautiful, keep an open mind.” — Glenn Quagmire

Glenn Quagmire with another character from “Family Guy” and his quote: “Come on beautiful, keep an open mind.” | Source: facebook.com/FamilyGuy

When it comes to voice actors for the main cast and immediate family in family guy, the father, Peter Griffin, baby Stewie Griffin, and the dog, Brian Griffin, are all voiced by Seth McFarlane with the help of some other voice actors.

The wife, Lois Griffin, is voiced by Alex Borstein, and Chris Griffin by Seth Green. Lastly, Meg Griffin, the family's daughter, is voiced by Mila Kunis, known for her acting chops and adorable union with Ashton Kutcher.

To wade deeper into more adult animated comedy, read these 32 Roger quotes from "American Dad."