36 ‘Best in Show’ Quotes from the Hilarious and Exciting Mockumentary

Winning a dog show is something that some dog owners prioritize, so much so that they would go to great lengths to take home the gold. "Best in Show" gives a behind-the-scenes look into this world, following five dog owners as they travel to compete in a dog show.

Harlan Pepper and Sherri Ann Cabot are two dog owners heading to Philadelphia to join the competitive Mayflower Kennel Club Dog Show. Harlan grew up accustomed to raising Bloodhounds as part of his family tradition, while Sherri already has prior wins in dog shows.

The two are competing against each other and three more couples, Gerry and Cookie Fleck, Meg and Hamilton Swan, and Scott Donlan and Stefan Vanderhoof. "Best in Show" follows the dog owners in a documentary-like setup, showing their excitement, arguments, tension, and hilarious conversations.

The film became a great success, receiving a Golden Globe nomination and Writers Guild of America award, among many other recognitions.

Gerry Fleck's quote in "Best in Show:" "Malcolm: I've banged a lot of waitresses in my day, but you, you, you were the best. ; Cookie Fleck: You don't forget the best.” | Source: AmoDays

Hilarious 'Best in Show' Dialogues

"Gerry Fleck: I can't dance, I can't dance, I've got two left feet!

Cookie Fleck: I thought he was kidding.

Gerry Fleck: But I wasn't. I was born with two left feet." – "Best in Show"

"Gerry Fleck: She had dozens of boyfriends.

Cookie Fleck: Hundreds.

Gerry Fleck: Hundreds?

Cookie Fleck: Yeah, hundreds.

Gerry Fleck: Well, I did not know that! Not that... not that I didn't have quite the reputation myself. I was known by, you know, some, to be quite the Casanova." – "Best in Show"

"Scott Donlan: Where are you from, like Nor... Norland? Norway?

Hotel Manager: Uh, I'm Irish-German.

Stefan Vanderhoof: Like Robert Duvall in 'The Godfather.'"

Scott Donlan: Bratwurst and shillelaghs... paging Dr. Freud." – "Best in Show"

"Stefan Vanderhoof: They had the same prance, the same rhythm; it was like they were two members of the same body.

Scott Donlan: I knew a guy who had two members on the same body, dated him for about a half hour, got so exhausted. I'm sorry, go on, you were telling a story?" – "Best in Show"

"Buck Laughlin: Tell me, do you know the difference between a rectal thermometer and a tongue depressor?

Leslie's Nurse: Uh, no.

Buck Laughlin: Remind me never to come to you for a physical!" – "Best in Show"

Gerry Fleck's quote in "Best in Show:" "Buck Laughlin: Am I nuts? Something's wrong with his feet. ; Trevor Beckwith: I never thought I'd find myself saying this, but you're right. ; Buck Laughlin: He's got two left feet. Man, go get'm pal." | Source: AmoDays

"Malcolm: I've banged a lot of waitresses in my day, but you, you, you were the best.

Cookie Fleck: You don't forget the best." – "Best in Show"

"Buck Laughlin: I don't think I could ever get used to being poked and prodded like that. I told my proctologist one time, 'Why don't you take me out to dinner and a movie sometime?'

Trevor Beckwith: Yes, I remember you said that last year." – "Best in Show"

"Buck Laughlin: Am I nuts? Something's wrong with his feet.

Trevor Beckwith: I never thought I'd find myself saying this, but you're right.

Buck Laughlin: He's got two left feet. Man, go get'm pal." – "Best in Show"

"Buck Laughlin: Now that looks like a fast dog. Is that faster than a greyhound?

Trevor Beckwith: Uh, I can't really say.

Buck Laughlin: If you put them in a race, who would come in first? You know if you had a little jockey on them, going like this" – "Best in Show"

Gerry Fleck's quote in "Best in Show:" "Well you must be very "proud Mary.’" | Source: AmoDays

"Stefan Vanderhoof: Now, Tyrone would like some of those beef kidneys, so we'll have a half pound of those."

Scott Donlan: No, not the kidneys; it's the membranes. I don't wanna have to pull those things off." – "Best in Show"

"Scott Donlan: What Shih Tzus need rescuing anyway? You don't see Shih Tzus straggling around the streets in an old coat, 'help, alms for the poor.'"

Stefan Vanderhoof: Like the little match girl." – "Best in Show"

"Stefan Vanderhoof: They had the same prance, the same rhythm; it was like they were two members of the same body."

Scott Donlan: I knew a guy who had two members on the same body, dated him for about a half hour, got so exhausted. I'm sorry, go on, you were telling a story?" – "Best in Show"

'Best in Show' quotes from Gerry Fleck and Harlan Pepper, and Max Berman

"Well, you must be very "proud Mary.'" – Gerry Fleck, "Best in Show"

"Don't water the plants, they're plastic!" – Gerry Fleck, "Best in Show"

Harlan Pepper's quote in "Best in Show:" ”I used to be able to name every nut that there was, and it used to drive my mother crazy.” | Source: AmoDays

"I forgot to compliment you on your luscious melon breasts tonight. How does that sound?" – Gerry Fleck, "Best in Show"

" I used to be able to name every nut that there was, and it used to drive my mother crazy." – Harlan Pepper, "Best in Show"

"After the dog show, I was on an El Al flight to Haifa faster than a walnut could roll off a henhouse roof." – Harlan Pepper, "Best in Show"

"I saw her at the sideshow at the fair. The sign said, 'TURTLE WOMAN; PLEASE BEWARE.' And they had a sign saying, 'BEWARE,' because of snapping turtles, I guess. But I went in, and I just had to stare. Turtle Woman, I love you, I don't care." – Harlan Pepper, "Best in Show"

"I'm the chief hostage negotiator for the Akron and tri-county area, and I talk people down. Whenever they get a jumper on a big building, they call me." – Max Berman, "Best in Show"

Max Berman's quote in "Best in Show:" "I had a terrible day today. I can't get rid of it in my head. You know, you have a bad day - someone returns a sweater. I have a bad day - lives get lost. People lose their lives." | Source: AmoDays

"I'll gouge your right eye out with my thumb, you little freak!" – Max Berman, "Best in Show"

"I had a terrible day today. I can't get rid of it in my head. You know, you have a bad day - someone returns a sweater. I have a bad day - lives get lost. People lose their lives." – Max Berman, "Best in Show"

"You know something, what you don't understand is, what do they say? One picture is worth a thousand words. I only went through 125 or 130 words describing that. If I wanted to go on, I could go through 800 words more. – Max Berman, "Best in Show"

'Best in Show' quotes from couple Meg and Hamilton Swan

"We met at Starbucks. Not at the same Starbucks, but we saw each other at different Starbucks across the street from each other." – Meg Swan, "Best in Show"

Meg Swan's quote in "Best in Show:" "I didn't ask for your opinion. I asked for a toy that you don't have!" | Source: AmoDays

"What are you, a wizard? A genius? Why didn't you tell me that before?" – Meg Swan, "Best in Show"

"I didn't ask for your opinion. I asked for a toy that you don't have!" – Meg Swan, "Best in Show"

"No, that's a bear in a, in a bee costume." – Meg Swan, "Best in Show"

"Thanks a lot, you stupid hotel manager!" – Meg Swan, "Best in Show"

"We are lucky. We are lucky to have been raised amongst catalogs." – Meg Swan, "Best in Show"

Hamilton Swan's quote in "Best in Show:" "You've got your Busy Bee! Do you want your Busy Bee?" | Source: AmoDays

"Oh, God! She's not even responding to the toy!" – Meg Swan, "Best in Show"

"You've got your Busy Bee! Do you want your Busy Bee?" – Hamilton Swan, "Best in Show"

"Don't! Not the lips." – Hamilton Swan, "Best in Show"

"Hamilton Swan: I remember what I was drinking when I met you. It was a grande espresso.

Meg Swan: That's right. And I thought that was really sexy." – "Best in Show"

"Hamilton Swan: Honey, I'm thinking of switching to the mock turtleneck.

Meg Swan: Is that not breathing?

Hamilton Swan: Well, it's breathing now, but it'll be hot down there. I could go with the lambswool, but then again, you'll see a lot of khaki down there, and this merlot looks good with the gray." – "Best in Show"

"Hamilton Swan: I'm now a big old chai tea latte soy milk kind of guy.

Meg Swan: Mmm. Soy. Because of the lactose. You're lactose intolerant now." – "Best in Show"

Hamilton and Meg Swan's dialogue in "Best in Show:" "Hamilton Swan: I'm now a big old chai tea latte soy milk kind of guy. Meg Swan: Mmm. Soy. Because of the lactose. You're lactose intolerant now." | Source: AmoDays

Much of the show's success can be credited to the actors and actresses, including Eugene Levy, who also wrote the storyline alongside director Christopher Guest.

Eugene previously starred in several comedy films, making him a known figure in Hollywood. He also works behind the scenes and has a son, Dan Levy, who followed in his footsteps. Dan is an actor and producer, set to appear in "The Idol" with Lily-Rose Depp.

Like "Best in Show," "Sunny in Philadelphia" contains humorous conversations and a great storyline. Read 46 of the sitcom's best quotes for a good laugh.