56 'Zombieland' Quotes to Tackle the Undead with Wit & Sarcasm

"Zombieland" is an adventure-filled movie that follows the journey of a few survivors during the apocalypse. To relish the comedic essence of this film, indulge in a delightful array of 56 quotes that will undoubtedly entertain you.

When it comes to surviving the zombie apocalypse, our faith lies firmly in the wisdom of survival guides and the expertise of our fearless zombie slayers: Columbus, Tallahassee, Little Rock, Wichita, and a bit of Bill Murray.

These guys are from the hit film "Zombieland," where the undead reign supreme while the humans hide and try not to scream. This movie has kept numerous fans' eyes glued to the screen thanks to their hilarious adventures.

Columbus and the gang seem to have given us enough skills to make it out alive and kicking in Z-land—a dose of sarcastic lines and witty words of wisdom. Scroll down to read the film's 56 quotes, and you might as well learn from their experiences.

Tallahassee's quote: "I've never hit a kid before. I mean, that's like asking who Gandhi is." | Source: Facebook.com/Zombieland

Columbus' Hilarious Quotes on 'Zombieland' Survival

"So until next time, remember: Cardio, seat belts, and this really has nothing to do with anything, but a little sunscreen never hurt anybody. I'm Columbus, Ohio, from Zombieland, saying good night." — Columbus

"Well, girls mature faster than boys. She's way ahead of where I was at that age." — Columbus

"You see? You just can't trust anyone. The first girl I let into my life and she tries to eat me." — Columbus

"Oh, this is so exciting, you're about to learn who you're gonna call... it's Ghostbusters." — Columbus

Bill Murray's quote: "Oh, I do it to blend in. You know. Zombies don't mess with other zombies." | Source: Facebook.com/Zombieland

"That guy down there... is me. I'm in Garland, Texas. And it may look like zombies destroyed it, but that's actually just Garland." — Columbus

"I could tell she knew what I was feeling, we all are orphans in Zombieland." — Columbus

"Fasten your seat belts. This is going to be a bumpy ride." — Columbus

"Someone's ear is in danger of having hair brushed over it..." — Columbus

Little Rock's quote: "Trust no one. Just you and me." | Source: Facebook.com/Zombieland

"If it means anything now, I am so sorry. It was just instinctive." — Columbus

"That's the worst goodbye I've ever heard, and you stole it from a movie." — Columbus

"You almost knocked over your alcohol with your knife." — Columbus

"Okay, let me begin my three-part apology by saying that I think you're a wonderful human, with great potential." — Columbus

Wichita's quote: "Ooh! Free parking...which coincidentally is the best thing about Zombieland.." | Source: Facebook.com/Zombieland

"One more clean shot to the head and that woman could've avoided becoming a human happy meal." — Columbus

"The first rule of Zombieland; Cardio. When the virus struck, for obvious reasons, the first ones to go were the fatties." — Columbus

"Don't let them catch you with your pants down." — Columbus

"You have to focus on your survival, which leads to Rule #4. Pretty basic. Fasten your seatbelts. It's gonna be a bumpy ride." — Columbus

Columbus' quote: "Well, girls mature faster than boys. She's way ahead of where I was at that age." | Source: Facebook.com/Zombieland

"Another rule to surviving Zombieland: Travel light, and I don't mean just luggage." — Columbus

Tallahassee's Witty & Sarcastic Quotes

"I haven't cried like that since Titanic." — Tallahassee

"I mean, you probably get this all the time. Maybe not lately, but I'm such a huge fan of yours. You know, I swear, I've seen every one of your movies a million times. I even loved your dramatic roles and just everything." — Tallahassee

"We got taken hostages by a twelve-year-old?" — Tallahassee

Wichita's quote: "On behalf of all the eighth-grade girls, I would like to dance with you." | Source: Facebook.com/Zombieland

"There is a box of Twinkies in there. And not just any Twinkies, but the last box of Twinkies in the whole universe." — Tallahassee

"The best part is no more flushing. Epic." — Tallahassee

"I can tell already, you're gunna get on my nerves." — Tallahassee

"Believe it or not, Twinkies have an expiration date. Some day very soon, life's little Twinkie gauge is gonna go... empty." — Tallahassee

Bill Murray's quote: "It was my bad. I was never a very good practical joker." | Source: Facebook.com/Zombieland

"Come on! Anybody hungry? Tallahassee's nice this time of year!" — Tallahassee

"Hop in the car, Evel Knievel. Let's go ride the rollercoaster." — Tallahassee

"You see, that's why I don't let people close, you only get burned." — Tallahassee

"Don't kill me with my own gun." — Tallahassee

Tallahassee's quote: "Believe it or not, Twinkies have an expiration date. Some day very soon, life's little Twinkie gauge is gonna go... empty." | Source: Facebook.com/Zombieland

"I've never been good with farewells so… that'll do, pig." — Tallahassee

"I hate coconut! Not the taste, the consistency." — Tallahassee

"I've never hit a kid before. I mean, that's like asking who Gandhi is." — Tallahassee

"Where are you, you spongy, yellow, delicious bastards?" — Tallahassee

Columbus' quote: "Another rule to surviving Zombieland: Travel light, and I don't mean just luggage." | Source: Facebook.com/Zombieland

Quotes from Wichita, Little Rock & Bill Murray That Turn 'Zombieland' Survival into a Comedic Adventure

"Yeah! 1997 was a great year! I saw my first R-rated movie... Anaconda. Got my first tattoo, a porpoise. Fake. Had my first kiss... Scotty Lynch." — Wichita

"On behalf of all the eighth-grade girls, I would like to dance with you." — Wichita

"You know between you, me and 'What About Bob?'... You're actually kinda cute." — Wichita

"Ooh! Free parking...which coincidentally is the best thing about Zombieland.." — Wichita

Tallahassee's quote: "I haven't cried like that since Titanic." | Source: Facebook.com/Zombieland

"You have just survived the zombie apocalypse and drove halfway across the country... where are you gonna go?" — Wichita

"Have you heard about Pacific Playland? There are no zombies there." — Little Rock

"That they got this far. I mean, they should be so proud..." — Little Rock

Tallahassee's quote: "You see, that's why I don't let people close, you only get burned." | Source: Facebook.com/Zombieland

"Y'know... I saw this Discovery Channel show... On like wildebeest herds or something... They always wait for the slow and the weak... Y'know... That way, when the lions show up, they only eat the slow and the weak..." — Little Rock

"Buddy of mine, makeup guy, he showed me how to do this. Corn starch. You know, some berries, a little licorice for the ladies. Suits my lifestyle, you know. I like to get out and do stuff. Just played nine holes on the Riviera. Just walked on. Nobody there." — Bill Murray

"It was my bad. I was never a very good practical joker." — Bill Murray

Tallahassee's quote: "There is a box of Twinkies in there. And not just any Twinkies, but the last box of Twinkies in the whole universe." | Source: Facebook.com/Zombieland

"You are staring at me. It's a hairpiece! It's a piece." — Bill Murray

"In the immortal words of Jean-Paul Sartre, 'Au revoir, Gopher.'" — Bill Murray

"Oh, I do it to blend in. You know. Zombies don't mess with other zombies." — Bill Murray

Columbus' quote: "You see? You just can't trust anyone. The first girl I let into my life and she tries to eat me." | Source: Facebook.com/Zombieland

Jessie Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, and Bill Murray himself play the film's characters. Other talented actors in the movie included Amber Heard, Zoey Deutsch, and Rosario Dawson.

Despite the scary and grim situation, Columbus and his group crack jokes and find joy in little things, like searching for Twinkies. It shows how humor can be a great coping mechanism, even in dire circumstances.

To immerse you in adventure-comedy films, here's another set of quotes from the captivating movie "Mad Max." Like in "Zombieland," these snippets reflect survival skills and add to the excitement.