23 Dale Gribble Quotes from the Mouth of the Quick-Witted Conspiracy Nut

Conspiracies, music, fishing, complete with a sardonic outlook, Dale Gribble's character remains controversial yet endearing to those who enjoy "King of the Hill," Read his 23 quotes below to find out more.

From the late 1990s until 2009, the animated series "King of the Hill" gave us the gun-nut and conspiracy lover Dale Gribble. The character does not hold back, with his sarcasm and quick-witted nature drawing in audiences.

Gribble takes on many occupations in the series, including businessman, exterminator, and even bounty hunter. On top of this, he is a skilled musician, focusing his talents on the electric keyboard. Read his 23 quotes below to learn more about this eccentric and multifaceted character.

Dale Gribble, with his quote: “Computers have already beaten the communists at chess.” | Source: Youtube.com/adultswim

Violent and Hardcore

"I thought we agreed to never discuss the horrors we saw on the killing fields of the Family Fun Center." ― Dale Gribble

If you want, I'll show you how to make a bomb out of a roll of toilet paper and a stick of dynamite." ― Dale Gribbler

"Get away from my wife or next time I'll aim for the mannequin and hit you." ― Dale Gribble

"I killed eight gophers last year and a purebred Tennessee walking horse that was looking at me funny." ― Dale Gribble

Amusing and Sarcastic

"That makes a whole lot of sense... A whole lot of nonsense!" ― Dale Gribble

Dale Gribble, with his quote: “I’m all jacked up on America right now. Anyone want to hear me recite the Constitution?” | Source: Youtube.com/adultswim

"Are you an alien? Because you've just abducted my heart." ― Dale Gribble

“I sure hope they have cigarettes in Hell.” ― Dale Gribble

“Bill, I didn’t know you grew up in Cajun Country—and I don’t care.” ― Dale Gribble

“Are you attempting to know me?” ― Dale Gribble

“I’m all jacked up on America right now. Anyone want to hear me recite the Constitution?” ― Dale Gribble

Dale Gribble and other characters from "King of the Hill," with his quote: “Are you attempting to know me?” | Source: Youtube.com/adultswim

“Hank, it sounds like you did everything right except giving away my kidney.” ― Dale Gribble

“Computers have already beaten the communists at chess.” ― Dale Gribble

“That makes a whole lot of sense—a whole lot of nonsense!” ― Dale Gribble

“If you take my kidney on vacation, my other organs go too.” ― Dale Gribble

“I could finally start paying Nancy’s health insurance instead of just telling Nancy I’m paying for it.” ― Dale Gribble

Wild Opinions

Dale Gribble and another character from "King of the Hill," with his quote: “Open up your eyes, man. They’re trying to control global warming…” | Source: Youtube.com/adultswim

"Guns don't kill people; the government does." ― Dale Gribble

"Our society stigmatizes the mentally ill... and rightfully so, these people are nuts!" ― Dale Gribble

“Open up your eyes, man. They’re trying to control global warming…” ― Dale Gribble

“A man breaks into your house, but you don’t own a gun. How are you going to shoot him?” ― Dale Gribble

More Dale Gribble Quotes

“Pocket sand, sh-sh-sha!” ― Dale Gribble

Dale Gribble and other characters from "King of the Hill," with his quote: “I killed… a purebred Tennessee walking horse that was looking at me funny." | Source: Youtube.com/adultswim

"A level three tornado will blow an egg right through a brick wall. Twister chasers call it Humpty's Revenge." ― Dale Gribble

“Boil up some Mountain Dew; it’s gonna be a long night.” ― Dale Gribble

Dale Gribble and other characters from "King of the Hill," with his quote: "Are you an alien? Because you've just abducted my heart.” | Source: Youtube.com/adultswim

Voiced by funny-man Johnny Hardwick, Gribble presents audiences with a controversial character mixed with nuance, depth, and humor, leaving many individuals reckoning with their understanding of the type of person this character is meant to represent.

There are many interesting characters in "King of the Hill," with some celebrities coming on as guests to voice some of them. This included Alan Rickman, who played King Philip, Jennifer Aniston as Pepperoni Sue, and Chris Rock as Booda Sack.

Become even more invested in the weird world of adult cartoons by reading: 41 Eric Cartman Quotes: Where South Park's Sharp Tongue Reigns Supreme.