28 Malory Archer Quotes – Agent, Mother, and Boss from the FX TV Series

Malory Archer is not just a mother and a spy agency head. She is also an all-round terrible human being. Find out why by reading these 28 Malory Archer quotes.

Malory Archer is a character in the animated adult comedy "Archer" series. She is the mother of Sterling Archer and was a previous Chief Executive Officer of an intelligence agency.

The creators of this not-so-motherly mom were not going for likeability when it came to Malory. This character is wealth-obsessed and will stop at nothing to gather infinite riches. She is elitist, a casual bigot, and a terrible individual to work for.

Saying that Malory has no filter is an understatement. Her verbal abuse cuts deep and sees no controversial and moral bounds.

Explore this tritagonist's dominant and immoral character by reading the following 28 Malory Archer quotes.

An Image of Malory Archer with her quote: “Well, if I did want a grandchild, I would just scrape all your previous mishaps into a big pile, and knit a onesie for it.” | Source: Youtube.com/Netflixnordic

Malory Archer Quotes Show Her Dominant Personality

“You’re not fit to be Queen of… name a place.” — Malory Archer

“Get your bloated carcass in here!” — Malory Archer

“Both of you, imagine shutting up!” — Malory Archer

"Your point being?" — Malory Archer

“Duly noted and disregarded. And I expect you to be totally convincing.” — Malory Archer

An Image of Malory Archer with her quote: “You’re not fit to be Queen of … name a place.” | Source: Youtube.com/Netflixnordic

“For God’s sake woman where is your pride!” — Malory Archer

Malory Archer Quotes Reveal Her Moral Compass

“If I wanted to sit around all day going nowhere, I’d be a teacher!” — Malory Archer

"That's outrageous! I won't pay it!" — Malory Archer

"I'll have your job!" — Malory Archer

An Image of Malory Archer with her quote: “If I wanted to sit around all day going nowhere, I’d be a teacher!” | Source: Youtube.com/Netflixnordic

“Like you’d recognize a vegetable that wasn’t wrapped in a Monte Cristo sandwich.” — Malory Archer

"People with servants." — Malory Archer

"That rug was a gift from the Azeri Khan himself!" — Malory Archer

Malory Archer Quotes That Reveal Her Other Toxic Sides

“Yes, Pam, get me some poison, because I am already dead inside.” — Malory Archer

An Image of Malory Archer with her quote: “Well, people in hell want ice water.” | Source: Youtube.com/Netflixnordic

“Who’s there? What do you want? Because all you’re going to get is holes. I, I mean holes in you…” — Malory Archer

"The People's Republic Of Canada" — Malory Archer

“Well, if I did want a grandchild, I would just scrape all your previous mishaps into a big pile, and knit a onesie for it.” — Malory Archer

“Well, people in hell want ice water.” — Malory Archer

“How can you even think about happy hours at a time like this?” — Malory Archer

An Image of Malory Archer with her quote: “Who’s there? What do you want? Because all you’re going to get is holes. I, I mean holes in you…” | Source: Youtube.com/Netflixnordic

“Do you want ants? Because thats how you get ants!” — Malory Archer

“None of you had any field experience when you first started. And you’ve given Cyril some training.” — Malory Archer

“I've swallowed just about as much as I can take from you!” — Malory Archer

“This is why I can’t have nice things.” — Malory Archer

“Oh! Oh! I cannot believe you! Are you out of your big, fat Russian skull? Of all the dumb stunts you – Nikolai, how could you do this?" — Malory Archer

An Image of Malory Archer with her quote: “...the classic Irishman’s dilemma: Do I eat the potato now, or do I let it ferment so I can drink it later?” | Source: Youtube.com/Netflixnordic

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“Everyone shoots the chippy! That way, we’re all in it together. Think of it as a team-building exercise.” — Malory Archer

“...just drive around listening to raps and shooting all the jobs.” — Malory Archer

“So, once again you’re left with the classic Irishman’s dilemma: Do I eat the potato now, or do I let it ferment so I can drink it later?” — Malory Archer

An Image of Malory Archer with her quote: “Like you’d recognize a vegetable that wasn’t wrapped in a Monte Cristo sandwich.” | Source: Youtube.com/Netflixnordic

Words are powerful, and through Malorys verbally abusive language, we can only imagine the effect on the individuals around her, especially those who work under her iron fist.

To cleanse your palate with some positivity, read these 42 Gina Linetti Quotes That Show Her Sarcastic, Funny, and Sassy Side, whose character is played by Chelsea Peretti, in the hilarious Brooklyn 99 comedy series,.

She plays alongside actors such as Andy Samberg, Terry Crews, and Stephanie Beatriz. They also had many guest characters such as Peter Davidson, Eva Longoria and Adam Sandler.