37 Hilarious Bridget Jones Quotes from ‘Bridget Jones’ Diary'

Things have not been going well in Bridget Jones' life, having been struggling with her career, appearance, and love life. However, as the New Year begins, she refocuses her energy on keeping a diary and living her best life.

"Bridget Jones's Diary" follows the titular character's story as she embarks on a humorous and modern romance in her 30s while living in London.

Told from the perspective of Bridget's diary entries, the show follows her life's challenges and triumphs while on a journey to find love. Bridget's character develops as the film progresses and the plot thickens.

Bridget Jones with her quote in "Bridget Jones's Diary:" "Bridget Jones: Tell me, is it one in four marriages that end in divorce these days, or one in three? ; Mark Darcy: One in three." | Source: Facebook/BridgetJonessDiary

Bridget Jones Quotes with Other Characters

"Daniel Cleaver: Come on, Bridget, we belong together: you, me, your little skirt. If I can't make it with you, then I can't make it with anyone.

Bridget Jones: That's not a good enough offer for me." – "Bridget Jones's Diary"

"Mark Darcy: I like you very much.

Bridget Jones: Ah, apart from the smoking and the drinking, the vulgar mother and ah, the verbal diarrhea.

Mark Darcy: No, I like you very much. Just as you are." – "Bridget Jones's Diary"

"Bridget Jones: You once said you liked me just as I am, and I just wanted to say likewise. I mean, there are stupid things your mum buys you. Tonight's another classic. You're haughty, and you always say the wrong thing in every situation, and I seriously believe that you should rethink the length of your sideburns. But you're a nice man, and I like you. If you wanted to pop by sometime, that might be nice more than nice.

Mark Darcy: Right, crikey." – "Bridget Jones's Diary"

"Bridget Jones: I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. Well, I meant it, but I was so stupid that I didn't mean what I meant. After all, it's only a diary. Everyone knows diaries are just full of [expletive].

Mark Darcy: Yes, I know that. I was just buying you a new one." – "Bridget Jones's Diary"

"Major dilemma. If actually do, by some terrible chance, end up in flagrante, surely these would be most attractive at crucial moment. However, chances of reaching crucial moment greatly increased by wearing these scary stomach-holding-in pants, very popular with grannies the world over. Tricky. Very tricky." – "Bridget Jones's Diary"

Bridget Jones with her quote in "Bridget Jones's Diary:" "At times like this, continuing with one's life seems impossible, and eating the entire contents of one's fridge seems inevitable." | Source: Facebook/BridgetJonessDiary

"Bridget Jones: Tell me, is it one in four marriages that end in divorce these days, or one in three?

Mark Darcy: One in three." – "Bridget Jones's Diary"

"Bridget Jones: I owe you an apology about Daniel. He said you ran off with his fiancée and left him brokenhearted.

Mark Darcy: No, it was the other way around. My wife. My heart." – "Bridget Jones's Diary"

"Bridget Jones: I thought you were in America.

Mark Darcy: Well, I was, but I realized I had forgotten something here.

Bridget Jones: Which was...?

Mark Darcy: Well, I realized that I had forgotten to kiss you goodbye. Do you mind?" – "Bridget Jones's Diary"

Iconic Bridget Jones Quotes

"I have two choices: to give up and accept a permanent state of spinsterhood and eventual eating by Alsatians, or not. And this time, I choose not. I will not be defeated by a bad man and an American stick insect!" – Bridget Jones

Bridget Jones with her quote in "Bridget Jones's Diary:" "It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces." | Source: Facebook/BridgetJonessDiary

"Look, are you and Cosmo in on this together? Because every time I see you, you seem to go out of your way to make me feel like a complete idiot. And you really needn't bother: I already feel like an idiot most of the time anyway - with or without the fireman's pole." – Bridget Jones

"At times like this, continuing with one's life seems impossible, and eating the entire contents of one's fridge seems inevitable." – Bridget Jones

"Right there, that was the moment. I suddenly realized that unless something changed soon, I was going to live a life where my major relationship was with a bottle of wine, and I'd finally die, fat and alone, and be found three weeks later half-eaten by Alsatians." – Bridget Jones

"Thank you, Daniel, that is very good to know. But if staying here means working within 10 yards of you, frankly, I'd rather have a job wiping Saddam Hussein's arse." – Bridget Jones

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces." – Bridget Jones

Bridget Jones with her quote in "Bridget Jones's Diary:" "Wait a minute, nice boys don't kiss like that." | Source: Facebook/BridgetJonessDiary

Hilarious Bridget Jones Quotes

'Resolution number one: obviously, will lose twenty pounds. Number two: will find nice sensible boyfriend and not continue to form romantic attachments to alcoholics, workaholics, peeping-toms, megalomaniacs, emotional [expletive] or perverts." – Bridget Jones

"Nothing can distract me from my dedication to the pursuit of truth. Well, almost nothing. I'll just pop to the shop quickly for some ciggies." – Bridget Jones

"It doesn't help that underneath our clothes, our entire bodies are covered in scales." – Bridget Jones

"This is an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers." – Bridget Jones

"Wait a minute, nice boys don't kiss like that." – Bridget Jones

Bridget Jones with her quote in "Bridget Jones's Diary:" "Now, I'll go home and de-bunny." | Source: Facebook/BridgetJonessDiary

"Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs. Dad. Hi." – Bridget Jones

"What you did is actually illegal in several countries." – Bridget Jones

"I choose Vodka and Chaka Khan." – Bridget Jones

"Now, I'll go home and de-bunny." – Bridget Jones

Bridget Jones with her quote in "Bridget Jones's Diary:" "I've got to leave my job because I shagged my boss." | Source: Facebook/BridgetJonessDiary

"My mum, a strange creature from the time when pickles on toothpicks were still the height of sophistication." – Bridget Jones

"Perhaps this is the mysterious Mr. Right I have been waiting for my whole life to meet. Maybe not." – Bridget Jones

"Have bottom size of Brazil." – Bridget Jones

"Apparently, I used to run 'round naked in his paddling pool." – Bridget Jones

"I've got to leave my job because I shagged my boss." – Bridget Jones

Bridget Jones with her quote in "Bridget Jones's Diary:" "Hi! You like me just the way I am." | Source: Facebook/BridgetJonessDiary

"Wish I could be at home with my head in a toilet like all normal people." – Bridget Jones

"The only thing worse than smug married people, lots of smug married couples." – Bridget Jones

"Hi! You like me just the way I am." – Bridget Jones

"Shut up, please. I am very busy and important. P.S. How dare you sexually harass me in this impertinent manner?" – Bridget Jones

Bridget Jones with her quote in "Bridget Jones's Diary:" "My mum, a strange creature from the time when pickles on toothpicks were still the height of sophistication." | Source: Facebook/BridgetJonessDiary

"It all began on New Year's Day, in my 32nd year of being single. Once again, I found myself on my own and going to my mother's annual turkey curry buffet." – Bridget Jones

"Tom, '80s pop icon who only wrote one hit record, then retired because he found that one record was quite enough to get him laid for the whole of the '90s. Total proof, of course." – Bridget Jones

Bridget Jones with her quote in "Bridget Jones's Diary:" "What you did is actually illegal in several countries." | Source: Facebook/BridgetJonessDiary

"Bridget Jones's Diary" premiered in 2001 and stars Renee Zellweger as the titular character, Colin Firth as Mark Darcy, and Hugh Grant as Daniel Cleaver. Because of the movie's success, its sequels, "Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason" and "Bridget Jones's Baby" were released.

Those who liked watching "Bridget Jones's Diary" and its sequels will also enjoy reading 37 'Modern Love' Quotes from a Series Exploring the Various Forms of Romance.