Am I Wrong for Kicking My Mother-in-Law Out after Seeing What She Did in My Home While I Wasn't There?

Instead of joy and togetherness, a family encountered an unforeseen divide in their home. Amid the excitement of decorating their new home together, an incident sparked tension between a wife and her mother-in-law.

Two women sitting on a couch | Source: Pexels

A narrative unfolded as a Reddit user, known henceforth as Original Poster (OP), and a spouse embarked on the journey of homeownership, a milestone marred by the husband's frequent business trips.

In his absence, OP found an unexpected ally in the mother-in-law (MIL), who volunteered to assist with decorating their new abode — a gesture OP welcomed with open arms. However, the harmony of this new chapter was disrupted when OP returned home to find a wall transformed into a gallery of memories by the MIL.

Framed portraits hung on the wall | Source: Pexels

Among the numerous framed pictures celebrating the husband's life milestones, one frame stood out: a photograph from his wedding day with his ex-wife. This particular inclusion stirred discontent, not solely for its presence but due to the MIL's unabashed fondness for her son's ex — a detail that has previously sown seeds of discord.

Confronted with this unwelcome surprise, OP's reaction was swift and decisive. She demanded the removal of the contentious photograph, a request met with resistance from the MIL, who argues for the preservation of her son's history.

An angry woman stating her case | Source: Pexels

The ensuing confrontation escalated, culminating in OP's decision to remove the photograph herself — sparking a torrent of accusations from the MIL, ranging from jealousy to control in text after the MIL left the house. The OP wrote:

In the aftermath, the husband's response further caused a divide; he acknowledged his mother's lapse in judgment yet deemed OP's banishment of the MIL excessively harsh. This stance ignited further debate within the family, with in-laws calling for clemency and a restoration of peace.

A man and a woman arguing | Source: Pexels

Seeking solace and understanding, OP turned to the Reddit community, presenting the dilemma in search of validation and advice. The response from one user encapsulated the sentiment of many: "She is looking for drama, don't give it to her... Protect your boundaries. But don't give her what she craves... Next time, just smile and tell her she is banned from your life. But smile and talk calmly," commented one Redditor.

One user humorously suggested extending an invitation to the ex for family gatherings as if it were perfectly normal, pointing out the MIL's unreasonable actions.

People during a get-together | Source: Pexels

Another proposed a bold strategy. They asked the OP to place a photo of herself with an ex and gauge the husband's reaction. The commenter also labeled the MIL's behavior as childish and immature, emphasizing the need for the husband's support, without it, such incidents would persist, hinting at the MIL's possible motives to reunite her son with his ex.

Someone lamented that the MIL's actions constituted a deliberate maneuver to undermine OP, adding this act was deeply disrespectful. The user noted the husband's lack of solid support added to the grievance.

A man and a woman having a conversation | Source: Pexels

Another voiced concerns over the ongoing challenges with the MIL, describing her actions as bizarre and indicative of a "classic nightmare MIL." They recommended negotiating the ban's removal on the condition of ending such provocations and stopping hurtful messages. However, they cautioned that this might be just the beginning of many problematic incidents.

Questions were raised about the inclusivity of the photo display, pondering whether it featured any pictures of OP or solely focused on the husband and his relatives. This query directly tackled the concern of mutual respect and the definition of what constitutes "our" house, challenging the husband to consider if a wall decorated solely by his mother reflected a shared home.

A man a a woman sitting on a couch | Source: Pexels

Another individual adopted a firmer stance, stating they would have acted more drastically by destroying the picture in the presence of the MIL and then enforcing the ban. Should the MIL protest, they would argue the right to decide the picture's fate, as it was placed within their personal space. They concluded that the MIL was aware of her wrongdoing, suggesting the husband owed OP an apology.

Do you think OP was wrong to kick the MIL out? What would you do if you were in her position? Read more about a woman who got the shock of her life once she realized what her mother-in-law had done to her son on his second birthday.