40 Milhouse Quotes from ‘The Simpsons’ Local, Gullible and Loveable Nerd

Milhouse Van Houten is a recurring and downtrodden character in the famous animated adult comedy "The Simpsons." There is, on the bright side, always room for change. Read 40 of his quotes below to get to know him better.

Milhouse Van Houten is Bart Simpson's closest friend in "The Simpsons." The ten-year-old is a nerd in every way. From glasses to a big nose, blue hair, and an awkward demeanor, especially in his approach to girls, he tends to be the target of bullies.

His best friend himself sometimes likes to exploit his gullible nature, getting them both into trouble. Even his therapist chose to block his number while the girl he has a massive crush on will likely never return his affection.

Nelson Mandela Muntz, Bart Simpson, and Milhouse, with Milhouse's quote: “My heart makes up for my shortcomings, like Rudy!” | Source: facebook.com/TheSimpsons

Iconic Milhouse Quotes

“Sorry, Bart.” — Milhouse

"Fine. If you're so sure about that, why don't you sell your soul to me?" — Milhouse

“My heart makes up for my shortcomings, like Rudy!” — Milhouse

“Bart, what are you doing?” — Milhouse

“When Radioactive Man got injected with shrinking serum in issue 234, how come his costume shrinks too?” — Milhouse

Milhouse Quotes Love, Lisa and Crushes

Milhouse and Lisa Simpson, with Milhouse's quote: “I can't wait to use your moves on Lisa.” | Source: facebook.com/TheSimpsons

"Sorry, Bart, I'm going to hang out with Lisa...for protection...and to be seen!" — Milhouse

"No, I think she's hot! Sorry, it just slipped out." — Milhouse

“Bart, can we go to 'Banana Republic?' There's a mannequin there I have a crush on.” — Milhouse

“Hey Bart! Lisa's skateboarding with some cool kids...and she looks like Blossom!” — Milhouse

Nelson Mandela Muntz, Bart Simpson, and Milhouse, with Milhouse's quote: “So, this is what it feels like...when doves cry.” | Source: facebook.com/TheSimpsons

“Hey, Bart. I think I have a crush on your new sister.” — Milhouse

“I can't wait to use your moves on Lisa.” — Milhouse

Milhouse Quotes That Are Full of the Feels

“Mr. Simpson, I'm scared.” — Milhouse

“I'm gonna miss you, spit brother.” — Milhouse

“So, this is what it feels like...when doves cry.” — Milhouse

Bart Simpson, and Milhouse, with Milhouse's quote: ““Mr. Simpson, I'm scared.” | Source: facebook.com/TheSimpsons

“My mom doesn’t believe in fabric softener. But she’s not around!” — Milhouse

Hilarious Milhouse Quips

"Ahem. OK, here’s what we've got: the Rand Corporation, in conjunction with the saucer people, under the supervision of the reverse vampires, are forcing our parents to go to bed early in a fiendish plot to eliminate the meal of dinner! We’re through the looking glass, here, people." — Milhouse

"Wow! I bet if God wore pants, he'd have a belt like that." — Milhouse

"How could Mrs. Krabappel take my cell phone? I'm only on month one of a sixty-month plan." — Milhouse

Bart Simpson and Milhouse, with Milhouse's quote: “More for me. Marrying a cousin worked out great for my parents.” | Source: facebook.com/TheSimp

"Trust me Bart, it's better to walk in on both your parents than on just one of them." — Milhouse

"Having a weapon at school has really made things awesome." — Milhouse

“It's a birthday miracle! I can eat lunch for the first time in years!" — Milhouse

"They say that Dark Stanley will kill you, then go wee-wee in your skull." — Milhouse

"I checked around. The girls are calling you 'fatty-fat fat fat', and Nelson's planning to pull down your pants, but...nobody's trying to kill you." — Milhouse

Bart Simpson and Milhouse, with Milhouse's quote: “A fat kid with a dream. I can't compete with that.” | Source: facebook.com/TheSimpsons

"If it's the blue hair and the schnoz you're digging, I've got plenty more cousins." — Milhouse

“More for me. Marrying a cousin worked out great for my parents.” — Milhouse

"I never would have suspected the one criminal in town." — Milhouse

"Did you ever wonder if hippopotamuses think that rhinos are unicorns?" — Milhouse

Nelson Mandela Muntz, Bart Simpson, and Milhouse, with Milhouse's quote: “But my mom says I’m cool.” | Source: facebook.com/TheSimpsons

“A fat kid with a dream. I can't compete with that.” — Milhouse

Milhouse Quotes That Prove His Awesome Nerdom

“I kind of traded your soul to the guy at the comic book store.” — Milhouse

"Step over this line and say that...I'll kick your butt...at Nintendo." — Milhouse

“But my mom says I’m cool.” — Milhouse

“No way, Bart. If I lean over, I leave myself open to wedgies, wet willies, or even the dreaded rear-admiral!” — Milhouse

Bart Simpson and Milhouse, with Milhouse's quote: “I kind of traded your soul to the guy at the comic book store.” | Source: facebook.com/TheSimpsons

More Milhouse Quotes

“Everything’s coming up, Milhouse!” — Milhouse

"Hey, Bart. Check out my new earring. Pretty cool, huh?" — Milhouse

"This is great...and all I've done is enter my name! 'Thrillhouse.'" — Milhouse

"Maybe we can find an answer in this bookstore." — Milhouse

Nelson Mandela Muntz and Milhouse, with Milhouse's quote: “I'm not a lady! It's a spell!” | Source: facebook.com/TheSimpsons

Milhouse is voiced by Pamela Hayden, who has voiced many characters in many series, movies, and games such as "Lloyd in Space," "Recess, " and "Hey Arnold!"

Beyond the regular voice actors, famous individuals have voiced characters as guest stars. These included Meryl Streep, Mark Hamill, and Johnny Cash.

No matter how many big names have graced the show, fans will always remain closest to the regulars. Lisa Simpson is just one of the most beloved characters. Beyond being Milhouse's massive crush, she is intelligent, musically gifted, and unafraid to stand up for her beliefs.

Read 40 quotes from this saxophone-loving genius.