43 Leslie Neilsen Quotes from the Deadpan Comedy Specialist
Leslie Nielsen's quotes are guaranteed to give fans a good laugh. The late funnyman was involved in some of the best comedies in the 1980s and 1990s in a career spanning six decades.
Nielsen appeared in over 100 television and film productions, most notably in "Airplane," where he established himself as a deadpan comedy specialist. From then, he played a starring role in the short-lived series "Police Squad!" before taking on arguably his most Iconic role as Detective Frank Drebin in "The Naked Gun" movies.
Although primarily a comic specializing in deadpan comedy, some of Nielsen's quotes highlight the intelligent man he was with their profound meaning. Here are some of those sayings from the comedy star.
Leslie Neilsen Quotes from "The Naked Gun" Film Series
"Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through." — Leslie Nielsen
"I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr... Poopy Pants?" — Leslie Nielsen
“They're going to blow that place sky high. It'll be a tragedy. Unless it's during a dance number.” — Leslie Nielsen
“Ed Hocken: You haven't shot anybody in six months.
Leslie Nielsen: That's true. Funny how you miss the little things.” — Leslie Nielsen
“Well... We shot a lot of people together. It's been great. But today I retire, so if I do any shooting now, it'll have to be within the confines of my own home. Hopefully, an intruder and not an in-law, like at my bachelor party.” — Leslie Nielsen
“Ed Hocken: We heard about you and Jane.
Leslie Nielsen: Jane, Jane. That name will always remind me of her.” — Leslie Nielsen
“Sergeant Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad.” — Leslie Nielsen
“Cheer up, Ed. This is not goodbye. It's just I won't ever see you again.” — Leslie Nielsen
“Mrs. Dillon, your son is a ruthless, sadistic, cold-blooded animal. You must be very proud of him.” — Leslie Nielsen
Leslie Neilsen Quotes
"Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts." — Leslie Nielsen
"I really have to keep an eye on myself, because sometimes I think I might say something important." — Leslie Nielsen
"Doing nothing is very tough to do because you never know when you're finished. The upside is that from the moment you wake up in the morning, you're on the job." — Leslie Nielsen
"It doesn't really matter where I go (Heaven or Hell). I'll have plenty of friends in both places." — Leslie Nielsen
"One thing a person won't do when he's laughing is try to beat you up." — Leslie Nielsen
"There's an old saying that God exists in your search for him. I just want you to understand that I ain't looking." — Leslie Nielsen
"The reason they call if 'golf' is that all the other 4 letter words were used up." — Leslie Nielsen
"Do your part to silence gossip - don't repeat it." — Leslie Nielsen
"Sometimes integrity is a punch in the face." — Leslie Nielsen
"Are you having problems hearing? If so, those around you already know it. Hearing loss is no laughing matter, so don't be a punchline." — Leslie Nielsen
"When you see Charlie Chaplin, he stays funny. He doesn't become drama, and so what really seems to endure is comedy." — Leslie Nielsen
"Those who the gods seek to destroy first, learn how to play golf." — Leslie Nielsen
"The actual distance a bad golfer is going to hit the ball with any club obviously depends on many factors, not the least of which is whether the ball was actually hit at all." — Leslie Nielsen
"I don't think anybody can really sit down and decide that their mission in life is to make people think. I think their mission in life is to leave people alone!" — Leslie Nielsen
"Any sport that comes from Scotland is good!" — Leslie Nielsen
"It's not really that I've been an advocate for hearing aids for a long time, it's just that I've been losing my hearing for a long time! So it's actually very important for me because I'm actually hearing impaired and I simply want to hear better!" — Leslie Nielsen
Leslie Nielsen About His Acting Roles
"I played a lot of leaders, autocratic sorts; perhaps it was my Canadian accent." — Leslie Nielsen
"I had to weave and play around with a honey bear, you know, and I could wrestle with him a little bit, but there's no way you can even wrestle a honey bear, let alone a grizzly bear that's standing ten feet to eleven feet tall! Can you imagine? But it was fascinating to work that close to that kind of animal." — Leslie Nielsen
"I like that kind of 'straight-faced' comedy. I like to be straight-faced and outrageous." — Leslie Nielsen
"It's been dawning on me slowly that for the past 35 years I have been cast against type, and I'm finally getting to do what I really wanted to do." — Leslie Nielsen
"I'm afraid if I don't keep moving, they're going to catch me ... I am 81 years old and I want to see what's around the corner, and I don't see any reason in the world not to keep working. But I am starting to value my down time a great deal because I am realizing there might be other things to do that I am overlooking." — Leslie Nielsen
"Yes, it's true, I've been called the Laurence Olivier of spoofs. I guess that would make Laurence Olivier the Leslie Nielsen of Shakespeare." — Leslie Nielsen
"The violence or the vaudeville style of comedy is a technique all by itself. You get up there, and you are a comedian, and you're doing one thing. That is, you're going to make the audience laugh." — Leslie Nielsen
"You know it's very difficult to be an actor, and to have people depending on you to say the right line, at the right time, and to not be able to hear your cues! I can't tell you how many times I would've had to have said What? if I didn't have my hearing aids. So my hearing aids are a life saver, and they allow me to practice my craft." — Leslie Nielsen
"In episodic television you'll have a good guy who's on every week and that's his show! He's the regular on it, and you're not going to be "gooder" than he is; I mean, he's the guy who's got to solve your problem! So if you're playing a good guy, you have to have a problem, and he's going to solve it for you. And the only really strong dramatic part is the heavy, because the meaner and crueler and rottener you are, the better the good guy looks when he whips ya' at the end because he always is gonna whip ya! So, the best dramatic guest shot is the heavy." — Leslie Nielsen
"I've always been part of comedy. One of the things about our family was that if we were reasonably funny with each other, particularly my two brothers and myself, when my father was upset with something you'd want to make sure in some way you made him laugh. Because when he didn't laugh, you were in trouble!" — Leslie Nielsen
"I love comedy and I hope I never stop doing it." — Leslie Nielsen
"I had always functioned with dignity, wanting to appear intelligent, macho, never vulnerable or insecure. But now I realize that... a part of these comic characters is a fundamental part of me too." — Leslie Nielsen
"I used to have this dream that somebody was knocking at my door. I'd say 'Who is it?' and they'd answer 'Police.' I'd open the door, and they would say to me, 'Pack your bags. We realized you have no talent." — Leslie Nielsen
"Today, in my career, I'm doing what I love to do. And that is, do things for the fun - do comedy. It's a pleasure to go for the laughter." — Leslie Nielsen
"I have always loved science fiction. One of my favorite shows is 'Star Trek.' I like the trips, where it drops my mind off, because they give you a premise, and all of a sudden, you say, 'Oh!' and I'm fascinated by it." — Leslie Nielsen
"I've finally found my home - as Lt. Frank Drebin." — Leslie Nielsen
"I'm a professional actor. If I was a plumber, I wouldn't just do my plumbing in Beverly Hills bathrooms; I'd like to install air conditioning units and a few other things." — Leslie Nielsen
As mentioned in some quotes, Leslie was a natural comedian with a unique comic talent that had hardly been seen elsewhere. Actors Ryan Gosling and Steve Carell have been mooted by fans as potentially delivering similar comedic acting performances, but that remains a long shot.
Fans of Carell can check out these 36 Robert California quotes from "The Office," a mockumentary sitcom television show that he plays the lead role and produces.