61 Creed Bratton Quotes: The Eccentric World of 'The Office' Enigma

Creed Bratton's character in "The Office" was one of the show's most eccentric and enigmatic characters. With his mysterious past and bizarre behavior, he left audiences wondering who he really was. Here are 61 quotes from Creed Bratton that showcase his strange and hilarious personality.

Creed Bratton's birth name is William Charles Schneider. He came from a family of musicians and was a musician and songwriter with the rock band The Grass Roots from the 1960s until 1970. While joining the group, he changed his name to Creed Bratton.

As his music career grew, he started acting and starred in several movies and series. When he was initially set to be cast in "The Office" in 2005, his fictionalized character with the same name as him was supposed to be a background character. However, he got a speaking role true to his nature and became a recurring character throughout the series, appearing in over 100 episodes.

He was known for his bizarre behavior and mysterious past, which included hints of criminal activity and involvement with various cults. Even though his role was unexpected, he became one of the show's most beloved and memorable characters. Take a walk into his bizarre world with these 61 Creed Bratton quotes.

Creed Bratton's quote: "Creed Bratton has never declared bankruptcy. When Creed Bratton gets in trouble, he transfers his debt to William Charles Schneider." | Source: AmoDays

Creed Bratton Quotes on His Indifference, Curiosity, and Peculiarities

"I stopped caring a long time ago." — Creed Bratton

"Jinx, buy me some coke." — Creed Bratton

"Be cool, Michael. I saw this guy kill a bunch of people." — Creed Bratton

"Guys, I'm starting to think Pam's not even pregnant." — Creed Bratton

Creed Bratton's quote: "I stopped caring a long time ago." | Source: AmoDays

"My tombstone has been already made, thank you." — Creed Bratton

"If my parents see this, I'm toast." — Creed Bratton

"We should hang out by the quarry and throw things down there." — Creed Bratton

"You know a human can go on living for several hours after being decapitated." — Creed Bratton

Creed Bratton's quote: "My tombstone has been already made, thank you." | Source: AmoDays

"The Taliban's the worst. Great Heroin, though." — Creed Bratton

"He's been trashing us relentlessly on Twitter. Now it's funny stuff, but mean." — Creed Bratton

"When Pam gets Michael's old chair, I get Pam's old chair. Then I'll have two chairs. Only one to go." — Creed Bratton

"I've never owned a refrigerator before." — Creed Bratton

Creed Bratton's quote: "He's been trashing us relentlessly on Twitter. Now it's funny stuff, but mean." | Source: AmoDays

"You ever seen a foot with four toes?" — Creed Bratton

"I already won the lottery. I was born in the US of A baby! And as a backup, I have a Swiss passport." — Creed Bratton

"It's pronounced Ker-nell. It's the highest rank in the army." — Creed Bratton

"Yes. Hello, Creed Bratton, Quality Assurance, Dunder Mifflin, Scranton. I was supposed to meet with one of your floor managers last week for a quality inspection, and he or she wasn't there. I'm trying to remember who it was. Who wasn't there last week?" — Creed Bratton

Creed Bratton's quote: "You ever seen a foot with four toes?" | Source: AmoDays

"Get your eyes checked, chucklehead." — Creed Bratton

Creed Bratton Quotes on His Many Lives and Other Office Misadventures

"Did one of you tell Stanley that I have asthma. 'Cause I don't. If this gets out, they won't let me scuba. And if I can't scuba, what am I working toward?" — Creed Bratton

"A beautiful morning at Dunder Mifflin. Or like I like to call it, great Bratton." — Creed Bratton

"A lot of jazz cats are blind. But they can play the piano like nobody's business. I'd like to put the piano in front of Pam, without her glasses, and see what happens. I'd also like to see her topless." — Creed Bratton

"Creed Bratton has never declared bankruptcy. When Creed Bratton gets in trouble, he transfers his debt to William Charles Schneider." — Creed Bratton

Creed Bratton's quote: "Get your eyes checked, chucklehead." | Source: AmoDays

"I run a small fake I.D. company from my car with a laminating machine that I swiped from the sheriff's station." — Creed Bratton

"Every week, I'm supposed to take four hours and do a quality spot-check at the paper mill. And of course, the one year I blow it off, this happens." — Creed Bratton

"You're paying way too much for your worms, man. Who's your worm guy?" — Creed Bratton

"What is wrong with this woman? She's asking about stuff that's nobody's business. What do I do? Really, what do I do here? I should've written it down. Qua something, uh…qua…quar…quibo, qual…quir-qubity. Uabity assurance! No, no, no, no, no, but I'm getting close." — Creed Bratton

Creed Bratton's quote: "I run a small fake I.D. company from my car with a laminating machine that I swiped from the sheriff's station." | Source: AmoDays

"It's Creed. FYI I'm starting my own paper company looking to poach some chumps. You in?" — Creed Bratton

"You're over 40; that's the cut-off. Are you listening to what he's saying? Re-training. New system. Youth. I'm telling you, this kid is the grim reaper." — Creed Bratton

"There's not that many people from the sixties who have progressed as writers and are continuing on. They're out there. But I'm one of them who's just continued on, following his own little inner madness." — Creed Bratton

"I was with a folk trio back in '63 and '64, and we traveled all across North Africa, Israel, and Europe." — Creed Bratton

Creed Bratton's quote: "It's Creed. FYI I'm starting my own paper company looking to poach some chumps. You in?" | Source: AmoDays

"I was a drama major through college." — Creed Bratton

"I wanna do a cartwheel. But real casual like, not make a bit deal out of it, but I know everyone saw it. Just one stunning gorgeous cartwheel." — Creed Bratton

"It's pirate code. It means he wants to meet. I understand pirate code. I can't speak it." — Creed Bratton

Creed Bratton Quotes Focused on the Art of Survival

"Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name? Creed Bratton." — Creed Bratton

"I'm not offended by homosexuality. In the 60s, I made love to many, many women—often outdoors in the mud and the rain—and it's possible that a man slipped in. There'd be no way of knowing." — Creed Bratton

Creed Bratton's quote: "It's pirate code. It means he wants to meet. I understand pirate code. I can't speak it." | Source: AmoDays

"I've been involved in a number of cults both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower but you make more money as a leader." — Creed Bratton

"No matter how you get here or where you end up, human beings have this miraculous gift to make that place home." — Creed Bratton

"In case you were wondering, my spirit animal is a duck-billed platypus." — Creed Bratton

"I'm a pretty normal guy. I do one weird thing. I like to go in the women's room for number two. I've been caught several times and I have paid dearly." — Creed Bratton

Creed Bratton's quote: "I've been involved in a number of cults both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower but you make more money as a leader." | Source: AmoDays

"I write songs for myself, songs come out of me, I get enjoyment out of it. Basically, that's it—I get enjoyment out of my songs, I know they're good songs and know that the people around me who I respect are all getting up on these tunes, and the feedback is really good, so that's it. There are people who will receive them and don't receive them. Not in a spiritual sense, but in a commercial sense—do these songs treat people, and so far they're working." — Creed Bratton

"Oh, I steal things all the time. It's just something I do." — Creed Bratton

"I love it [music]. I always have loved it. There's something about playing music that inspires me. When I've had some really down periods in my life, debauched beyond belief, not knowing what the hell I'm gonna do with my life, [Rolling Stones'] "Street Fighting Man" or something like that would come on the radio, and I'm pounding the dash and the rock and roll will inspire me to keep going. It inspires me. It's true." — Creed Bratton

"I never took drugs to escape. I know some people take drugs to escape, but I took drugs because I was an experimenter. And an artist. And I was always trying to go to the other side of that veil and get information like all writers have done through the millennia. To get some insights on how the whole thing works if there's any way to know how it works and write about it." — Creed Bratton

Creed Bratton's quote: "Oh, I steal things all the time. It's just something I do." | Source: AmoDays

"I don't want to take myself too seriously. That's my lesson to myself." — Creed Bratton

"When I was a teenager, I was in an iron lung." — Creed Bratton

"I think if you don't have it [desire], you're not going to be pushed into anything. You've got to want to do something." — Creed Bratton

"You've got to be happy, you have to do this thing [music] for the love. It's not like you go into music because it's going to make a lot of money. It's something you do… that's the thing. You got to accept all that hard work with it, too. And enjoy it, and love it." — Creed Bratton

Creed Bratton's quote: "I don't want to take myself too seriously. That's my lesson to myself." | Source: AmoDays

"I'm not cybernaut, this stuff's so foreign to me." — Creed Bratton

"Honestly, I love stealing things." — Creed Bratton

"I don't sit down to write a song, per se." — Creed Bratton

"I love Westerns and I remember as a kid climbing up on the couch and make it into a saddle and shoot guns and fall off. I would lay there after my death, and my mom would tell me to eat lunch, and I'd say, 'I'm still dead, Mom!' I was Method, even then." — Creed Bratton

Creed Bratton's quote: "I'm not cybernaut, this stuff's so foreign to me." | Source: AmoDays

"I'm a survivalist and a survivor." — Creed Bratton

"I lived in London in 1965 and 1972. I love it there, and I'm always very creative in that vibe. Would love to live for a while in Scotland/Ireland and Britain. Great appreciation there for the folk scene and song crafting." — Creed Bratton

Creed Bratton's quote: "I'm a survivalist and a survivor." | Source: AmoDays

"The Office" is a famous American television sitcom. It aired on NBC from 2005 to 2013. The show was created by Greg Daniels and is based on the British series of the same name, which Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant created.

The show is a mockumentary-style sitcom that follows the daily lives of employees at the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company, a fictional paper company located in Scranton, Pennsylvania. The show is known for its dry humor, cringe-worthy moments, and an ensemble cast of quirky characters.

Throughout its nine-season run, "The Office" became a cultural phenomenon and won numerous awards. It has also been credited with helping to popularize the mockumentary genre and influencing other popular shows. To learn more about other characters in the series, read these 47 "The Office" quotes.