28 Ralph Wiggum Quotes: Words from This Quirky & Kind 'Simpsons' Character

With his quirky demeanor and kindness, Ralph Wiggum has made his way into the hearts and minds of "Simpsons" fans everywhere. Read his 28 quotes below to find out more.

Ralph Wiggum from "The Simpsons" is academic star Lisa Simpson's classmate, but performs quite poorly next to her intellect. Wiggum, Chief Wiggum and Sarah Wiggum's son, is a simple boy who often spouts what many see as unintelligent. He also has a nonsensical way of talking, and his odd and quirky behavior confuses individuals.

However, now and then, Ralph surprises his classmates and other characters with deep insights into current going-ons and philosophical thought.

It is not just this quirky nature and hilarious one-liners that this character provides the audience, but instead, his pure and compassionate heart. Read these 28 quotes from the fan-favorite below.

Ralph Wiiggum’s quote: “My Grandma had hair like that when she went to sleep in her forever box.” | Source: AmoDays

Absurd and Funny Quotes

“Lies are like stars, they always come out. I have five face holes.” ― Ralph Wiiggum

“I’m a furniture!” ― Ralph Wiiggum

"I'm a Star Wars." ― Ralph Wiiggum

"Slow down, Bart! My legs don’t lnow how to be as long as yours." ― Ralph Wiiggum

"Your eyes need diapers“ ― Ralph Wiiggum

Ralph Wiiggum’s quote: “When I grow up, I wanna be a principal or a caterpillar.” | Source: AmoDays

"Lisa’s bad dancing makes my feet sad.” ― Ralph Wiiggum

“I bent my wookie.” ― Ralph Wiiggum

"I want to be a triangle." ― Ralph Wiiggum

“When I grow up, I wanna be a principal or a caterpillar.” ― Ralph Wiiggum

Ralph Wiiggum’s quote:“My cat’s breathe smells like cat’s food.” | Source: AmoDays

“I’m a crayon, and I’m the best color.” ― Ralph Wiiggum

"I’m wearing a bathrobe, and I’m not even sick." ― Ralph Wiiggum

"Fireworks make my ears yell!" ― Ralph Wiiggum

“My cat’s breathe smells like cat’s food.” ― Ralph Wiiggum

Not Too Bright Quotes

“Me, fail English? That’s unpossible.” ― Ralph Wiiggum

Ralph Wiiggum’s quote: “Do alligators alligate?” | Source: AmoDays

“All my friends have birthdays this year!” ― Ralph Wiiggum

"Clouds are God's sneezes!” ― Ralph Wiiggum

“Do alligators alligate?” ― Ralph Wiiggum

"Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers, I'm Learneding." ― Ralph Wiiggum

Ralph Wiiggum’s quote: “All my friends have birthdays this year!” | Source: AmoDays

“Miss Hoover, I glued my head to my shoulder.” ― Ralph Wiiggum

Disconcerting Quotes

“If Mommy’s purse didn’t belong in the microwave, why did it fit?” ― Ralph Wiiggum

"Can you open my milk, mommy." ― Ralph Wiiggum

“My Grandma had hair like that when she went to sleep in her forever box.” ― Ralph Wiiggum

"It tastes like…burning." ― Ralph Wiiggum

Ralph Wiiggum’s quote: "My daddy's gonna put you in jail." | Source: AmoDays

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"Why do people run away from me?" ― Ralph Wiiggum

"My daddy's gonna put you in jail." ― Ralph Wiiggum

“I wanna go back in Mommy!” ― Ralph Wiiggum

Ralph Wiiggum’s quote: Lisa’s bad dancing makes my feet sad.” | Source: AmoDays

Nancy Cartwright was the voice of Ralph Wiggum and has voiced many significant characters in "The Simpsons." There have also been many celebrities who took part in voicing characters. These famous names include Kelsey Grammer, Michael Jackson, Michelle Pfeiffer, Johnny Cash, Meryl Streep, and many more.

Explore the animated universe deeper by reading: 41 Marge Simpson Quotes that Perfectly Depict Mom Life.