20 Hilarious 'Animal House' Quotes That'll Leave You in Stitches

"National Lampoon's Animal House" iconic quotes, memorable characters, and outrageous pranks continue to hold a significant place in contemporary popular culture, even though the movie was released several decades ago.

"National Lampoon's Animal House" is a classic comedy film released in 1978 and centers around a group of male students at the fictional Faber College who challenge the authority of their strict dean, Dean Vernon Wormer.

The iconic film, known for its raucous humor, absurdity, and irreverent take on college life, is considered a comedy gem as it captures the wild and rebellious spirit of fraternity life, complete with all the vulgarity and chaos that college boys can get into.

Dean Vernon Wormer's quote: "Carmine, I don't think it’s right that you should extort money from the college." | Source: Amodays

Best 'Animal House' Quotes That Will Make Your Day

"Katy: I mean hanging around with a bunch of animals getting drunk every weekend.

Donald 'Boon' Schoenstein: "No! After I graduate, I'm gonna get drunk every night." — "Animal House"

"What a shame that a few bad apples have to spoil a good time for everyone by breaking the rules." — Eric Stratton

“Don't worry. Just keep your hands and feet away from his mouth." — Eric Stratton

"My advice to you is to start drinking heavily." — John Blutarsky

Katy's quote: "Boon, I think I'm in love with a retard." | Source: Amodays

"Carmine, I don't think it’s right that you should extort money from the college." — Dean Vernon Wormer

Well, as of this moment, they're on double secret probation!" — Dean Vernon Wormer

Katy: "Boon, I think I'm in love with a retard."

Donald Schoenstein: "Is he bigger than me?" — "Animal House"

Donald Schoenstein: "Want me to go alone?"

Katy's quote: "I'll write you a note. I'll say you're too well to attend." | Source: Amodays

Katy: "Baby, I don't want you to go at all."

Donald Schoenstein: "It's a fraternity party. I'm in the fraternity. How can I miss it?"

Katy: "I'll write you a note. I'll say you're too well to attend." — "Animal House"

Hilarious Quotes from National Lampoon's Animal House

"I gave my love a cherry that had no stone. I gave my love a chicken that had no bones. I gave my love a story that had no end." — Charming Guy with Guitar

"Don't write this down, but I find Milton probably as boring as you find Milton. Mrs. Milton found him boring, too. He's a little bit long-winded, he doesn't translate well into our generation, and his jokes are terrible." — Professor Jennings

Greg Marmalard's quote: "Well, that would be hard to say, sir. They're each outstanding in their own way." | Source: Amodays

"Dean Wormer: Greg, what is the worst fraternity on this campus?

Greg Marmalard: Well, that would be hard to say, sir. They're each outstanding in their own way. — "Animal House"

"I've got their disciplinary files right here. Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the varsity swim meet? Who delivered the medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner?" — Dean Wormer

"Hoover: We're in trouble. I just checked with the guys at the Jewish house, and they said that every one of our answers on the psych test was wrong.

Dean Wormer's quote: "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son." | Source: Amodays

Boon: Everyone?" — "Animal House"

"Look, these parades you throw are very expensive. You use my police, my sanitation people, and my Oldsmobiles free of charge. So, if you mention extortion again, I’ll have your legs broken." — Mayor

"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son." — Dean Wormer

Robert Hoover's quote: “They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal!" | Source: Amodays

"May I have 10,000 marbles, please?" — Kent Dorfman

"They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal!" — Robert Hoover

"Toga! Toga! Toga!” — John Blutarsky

"I anticipate a deeply religious experience." — Eric Stratton

"Now we could do it with conventional weapons, but that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part!" — Eric Stratton

John Blutarsky's quote: "Toga! Toga! Toga!” | Source: Amodays

"Animal House" first premiered on July 28, 1978, and has remained a beloved and influential comedy that has continued to make audiences laugh for decades.

This movie which featured John Belushi, who played John Blutarsky, and Tim Matheson, who played Eric Stratton, is considered one of the greatest comedy films of all time and has left a lasting impact on the college comedy genre. If you loved these hilarious "Animal House" quotes, consider checking these 90 Funny 'Criminal Minds' Quotes that will light up your mood.