25 Archie Bunker Quotes That Capture His Witty Personality

Archie Bunker was one of the most memorable characters in "All in the Family" for his sharp tongue and wit. Read these 25 Archie Bunker quotes to get a glimpse of the former veteran's hilarious personality.

Archie Bunker was a no-nonsense veteran who kept audiences in suspense as no one ever knew what the unfiltered old man would say next.

Fans caught a glimpse of his softer side during interactions with his wife, but for the most part, people came to love Archie Bunker for his dry humor and controversial takes. Here are his best quotes from "All in the Family."

Archie Bunker's quote, "Next time you want to time something, Edith, just let the sand run out of your head." | Source: Getty Images

Cheeky Quotes

"Mike: Why can't Mr. Quigley stay with us for a few days?

Archie: Because we've already got one freeloader living with me, and bread's up ten cents a loaf!" ― Archie Bunker, "All in the Family"

"Archie: This ain't something a man usually tells a woman: I love you, Edith.

Edith: I know that, Archie.

Archie: You mean I didn't have to say it?" ― Archie Bunker, "All in the Family"

"Next time you want to time something, Edith, just let the sand run out of your head." ― Archie Bunker

"Mike: We're all family here.

Archie: Don't remind me!" ― Archie Bunker

"Mike: You know, I don't think there's one thing about us you agree with.

Archie: I agree with that." ― Archie Bunker, "All in the Family"

Archie Bunker's quote, "We're just sweeping dirty dishes under the rug." | Source: Getty Images

Quotes That Capture His Old-Man Personality

"Anybody that goes to see a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined!" ― Archie Bunker

"Why don't you go back to bartender's school and take a course in 'shut up'?" ― Archie Bunker

"God don't make no mistakes, that's how he got to be God." ― Archie Bunker

"Entertainment's a thing of the past, now we got television." ― Archie Bunker

"We're just sweeping dirty dishes under the rug." ― Archie Bunker

Archie Bunker's quote, "The lord might be smilin' on the sheeps, but they still wind up as lamb chops." | Source: Getty Images

Other Quotes, Including His Moments of Wisdom

"The lord might be smilin' on the sheeps, but they still wind up as lamb chops." ― Archie Bunker

"We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road." ― Archie Bunker

"If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook." ― Archie Bunker

"Edith, somebody's gotta be dead; that's life." ― Archie Bunker

Archie: "C'mon, give me your opinion straight from the dingbat."

Edith: "Well, I think you should mind your own business."

Archie: "Who asked you?" ― Archie Bunker, "All in the Family"

Archie Bunker's quote, "Like the old adverb, you can lead a gift horse to the water, but ya can't look in his mouth." | Source: Getty Images

Archie: "I wake up on a Saturday morning, I'm all alone. There's no note, no nothing. There's nobody here."

Edith: "Mike was home."

"Like I said, there was nobody here." ― Archie Bunker, "All in the Family"

Mike: "Would you stand up and cheer if it was me at the door?"

Archie: "Well, that depends, Meathead, on whether you was coming in or going out." ― Archie Bunker, "All in the Family"

"Like the old adverb, you can lead a gift horse to the water, but ya can't look in his mouth." ― Archie Bunker

"Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof!" ― Archie Bunker

"Maybe my mind chewed off more than the mind should bite." ― Archie Bunker

Archie Bunker's quote, "There's an old saying, 'Ya don't keep runnin' after you catch the bus.'" | Source: Getty Images

"There's an old saying, 'Ya don't keep runnin' after you catch the bus.'" ― Archie Bunker

"When a boy's coming into poobertyhood." ― Archie Bunker

"No taxation without regimentation." ― Archie Bunker

"You ain't got no qualifications." ― Archie Bunker

"If everything is good in the henhouse, you see, don't have to go out for eggs." ― Archie Bunker

Archie Bunker's quote, "If everything is good in the henhouse, you see, don't have to go out for eggs." | Source: Getty Images

Carroll O'Connor played Archie Bunker for many years and did an impressive job of portraying the cranky old guy everyone seems to have in their life — whether it's your grandfather or the elderly gentleman who shops at your local grocery store.

"All in the Family" also co-starred Sally Struthers, Jean Stapleton, and Rob Reiner. And while they also grew on people and became fan favorites, Archie Bunker's occasional nuggets of wisdom, his aptitude for zingers, and iconic one-liners made him one for the books. If you enjoyed his quotes, read these 61 'Bobs Burgers' Quotes: Belly Laughs, Burger Flips and Quirky Insights.