35 Dr. Cox Quotes on the Wit and Wisdom of Scrubs’ Iconic Character

If you're a fan of the medical comedy-drama "Scrubs," then you're likely familiar with the character of Dr. Perry Cox, played brilliantly by actor John C. McGinley. One of the standout features of Dr. Cox's character is his snarky, quick-witted remarks that have become iconic in pop culture. Read 35 of his quotes below.

If there's one character in the world of TV that can deliver biting wit and hilarious sarcasm like no other, it's Dr. Perry Cox from the medical comedy-drama "Scrubs." As the chief of medicine at Sacred Heart Hospital, Dr. Cox is known for his dry humor, quick comebacks, and brutally honest opinions. He's the perfect blend of intelligence, wit, and cynicism, all wrapped up in a package that's both entertaining and endearing.

Through his many seasons on the show, Dr. Cox has delivered some of the most memorable and iconic quotes in TV history. From his tirades against the hospital administration to his hilarious interactions with his colleagues, his razor-sharp wit and deadpan delivery have kept audiences laughing and quoting him for years.

In this article, we've compiled some of the best Dr. Cox quotes that will have you in stitches. Whether you're a die-hard fan of the show or just looking for a good laugh, these quotes are sure to entertain.

And now, without further ado, let's dive into the world of Sacred Heart and the hilarious mind of Dr. Perry Cox by reading 35 of his quotes.

Dr. Cox, with his quote: “I may have tormented her from time to time; but …that's what I thought marriage was all about.” | Source: facebook.com/scrubs

Dr. Cox's Relationship Quotes

"Please forgive me, but since I had a vasectomy last year, nay two vasectomies, I feel...I feel I just have to ask. Did you cheat on me?" — Dr. Cox

"It’s couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same [expletive] as everybody else, but the big difference is they don’t let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time." — Dr. Cox

“I may have tormented her from time to time; but…that's what I thought marriage was all about.” — Dr. Cox

"..And bam! The shine's off the apple. And that's when you find out that that pretty little girl you married isn't a pretty little girl at all. No, she's a man-eater. And I'm not talking about the 'whoa-whoa, here she comes' kind of man-eater. I'm talking about the kind that uses your dignity as a dishtowel to wipe up any shreds of manhood that might be stuck inside the sink." — Dr. Cox

"Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies. Will they, won't they, and then they finally do, and they're happy forever...gimme a break." — Dr. Cox

Dark, Disillusioned and Sarcastic Dr. Cox Quotes

Dr. Cox, with his quote: “Oh, my god. I care so little I almost passed out.” | Source: facebook.com/scrubs

“Oh, my God! I'm gagging and vomiting at the same time. I'm...I'm gavomiting!” — Dr. Cox

“That's why we make jokes…we do it so we can get by." — Dr. Cox

"Allow me to present: 'Man Not Caring'" — Dr. Cox

"All nurses and interns, let's gather around and dance for the puppet master." — Dr. Cox

“Oh, my god. I care so little I almost passed out.” — Dr Cox

Dr. Cox, with his quote: “That's why we make jokes…we do it so we can get by." | Source: facebook.com/scrubs

"We are short-staffed today because Kelso has volunteered all of you scat monkeys for some psychologist's research project, give me a break, which means, of course, you won't be helping patients; instead...oh, you'll be blabbering about your feelings and what is like working in the hospital and how that affects your personal lives and wah, wah, wah!" — Dr. Cox

"I dole out compliments, at most, once a year, and, like a squirrel, you must gather up these acorns of kind words to sustain you for the upcoming cold, sarcastic months." — Dr. Cox

"If someone is standing in front of me in line at the coffee shop and can't decide what they want in half an hour it took to get to the register, I should be allowed to kill them." — Dr. Cox

"I'll tell you there, Bobbo, either this kid has a light bulb up his butt, or his colon has a great idea.” — Dr. Cox

Savage Dr. Cox Quotes

Dr. Cox, with his quote: “I heard ‘I know I’m being annoying’ and then white noise.” | Source: facebook.com/scrubs

“And the princess and the idiot decided that their kiss didn't mean anything. Because in the end...they were both idiots.” — Dr. Cox

"How about we just agree that we're never gonna be that close?" — Dr. Cox

"Should I talk slower or get a nurse who speaks fluent moron?" — Dr. Cox

“I heard ‘I know I’m being annoying’ and then white noise.” — Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox, with his quote: “If you go ahead and listen very carefully, you'll hear the familiar sound of no one caring.” | Source: facebook.com/scrubs

“Hey talking man baby, come here.” — Dr. Cox

"Welcome to the first Sacred Heart who Caresies Awards designed to honor those people who believe that others actually give a rat's [expletive] about the minutaie of their lives." — Dr. Cox

“Are you a real doctor or a doctor like Dr. Pepper is a doctor?” — Dr. Cox

“If you go ahead and listen very carefully, you'll hear the familiar sound of no one caring.” — Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox, with his quote: “Hey talking man baby, come here.” | Source: facebook.com/scrubs

"No, I love the space. What I want you to do is pull out of and then back into the space every ten minutes. If you get bored, here's a deck of cards and a ball." — Dr. Cox

"But if you ever do want to know my opinion, rest assured it will always be that you're an incredible pain..." — Dr. Cox

Surprisingly Sweet Dr. Cox Quotes

"The fact of the matter is he's a damn exceptional person…He’s my friend.” — Dr. Cox

"...because ultimately you don't have to answer to me, and you don't have to answer to Kelso... you only have to answer to one guy newbie, and that's you." — Dr. Cox

"..I didn't go into that bathroom to take a leak. I went in there because I was petrified that I was gonna make the wrong decision about Mrs. Goldstein. And I didn't want anybody to know because it is so very important to me that people see me the way they used to. Bulletproof. And hopefully, admitting this to you will make you feel respected." — Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox, with his quote: "The fact of the matter is he's a damn exceptional person…He’s my friend.” | Source: facebook.com/scrubs

"Statistics show? Who cares what statistics show?... Statistics mean nothing to the individual. You're either gonna be a good parent to that kid, or you're not." — Dr. Cox

Surprisingly Sweet Dr. Cox Quotes

"I'm just a big brain in a ripped-up body." — Dr. Cox

"They opened and closed the show with it. It was awesome.” — Dr. Cox

“Say, Bobbo, you wanna weigh in on pregnancy sex?” — Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox, with his quote: “The ceremony of thanks is quickly approaching.” | Source: facebook.com/scrubs

It's clear that Dr. Cox's sharp tongue has left a lasting impression on viewers and pop culture as a whole. With performances by John C. McGinley that are so memorable, it's no wonder why. His talent for delivering hilarious insults and clever comebacks has made him one of the most beloved characters on television.

That said, Dr. Cox's quips were definitely not the only aspect of the show that turned it into a cult classic. Sarah Chalke, who played the sweet and neurotic Elliot Reid, and Turk, played by Donald Faison, certainly played a pivotal role.

The supporting cast all made their mark, with Ken Jenkins as the cynical Dr. Kelso, Judy Reyes as the tough but lovable nurse Carla Espinosa, and Neil Flynn as the snarky hospital janitor.

However, the heart of the show was definitely the protagonist and titular character, Dr. John "JD" Dorian, played by Zach Braff. Braff is also generally associated with the cult movie "Garden State," where he played alongside Natalie Portman , and his previous relationship with Florence Pugh.

Explore the world of medical fiction even more by reading these 38 Mark Sloan quotes From "Grey's Anatomy."