74 Funny 'Lucifer’ Quotes: The Hilarious Devil in the City of Angels

Of all the wacky pairings in crime procedurals, a child star turned detective and the actual devil in "Lucifer" rank among the wackiest. Explore 74 famous lines from the show that will make you laugh one moment and ponder on your life choices the next.

"Lucifer" was created by Tom Kapinos, the man behind "Californication," based on characters by Neil Gaiman, Sam Kieth, and Mike Dringenberg, that appeared in DC Comics' Vertigo.

Lucifer Morningstar, portrayed by Tom Ellis, is the mischievous and charming devil that is a mix of previous depictions of the mythical character in pop culture.

In a quest to learn more about humankind, Lucifer settles in Los Angeles, nicknamed the City of Angels, where he comes across the only living being who is immune to his powers, Lauren German as Chloe Decker.

Lucifer Morningstar’s quote: "Let me play the Me's advocate…" | Source: Facebook.com/LuciferNetflix

Funniest Quotes from Lucifer Morningstar - Played by Tom Ellis

"Miracles aren't my thing, but I'm sure we can come to an arrangement." ― Lucifer Morningstar

"I am a Devil of my word." ― Lucifer Morningstar

"Let me play the Me's advocate…" ― Lucifer Morningstar

"Just, whenever you're faced with a choice, ask yourself the question: WWLD? What would Lucifer do?" ― Lucifer Morningstar

"No, of course not. I detest the little creatures. And I'd certainly never put one in my mouth." ― Lucifer Morningstar

"This poor sap's either already in Heck or in the "Silver City, enduring Uriel's welcome speech, which is far worse than Heck, if you ask me." ― Lucifer Morningstar

"Always gratifying to find out that one's nemesis is altogether lacking in style." ― Lucifer Morningstar

Lucifer Morningstar’s quote: "Always gratifying to find out that one's nemesis is altogether lacking in style." | Source: Facebook.com/LuciferNetflix

"I can't go downstairs, Detective. Between my sunglasses, scarf, and gloves, I'll look like Stevie Wonder on a snow day." ― Lucifer Morningstar

"Chloe: Lucifer, you will represent the seedy criminal element.

Lucifer: Oh, I believe you mean handsome criminal element." ― Chloe Decker and Lucifer Morningstar

"Ah, well, no need to thank me for my heroism. Well, maybe just a little. No one's stopping you." ― Lucifer Morningstar

"What do you say, Sam? A fiddle of gold against your soul says I'm better than you." ― Lucifer Morningstar

"I want you to teach me your secret. I want you to show me how to be a tool." ― Lucifer Morningstar

"Look, people like you. They find you helpful, like duct tape or a trusty socket wrench." ― Lucifer Morningstar

Lucifer Morningstar’s quote: "Trust me, a church confessional has nothing compared to pillow talk." | Source: Facebook.com/LuciferNetflix

"I love LA. Even the homeless have an IMDB page." ― Lucifer Morningstar

"If you truly worship the dollar, then I'm your ticket to divinity." ― Lucifer Morningstar

"Sorry if it's a bit chilly. Most people think I burn hot. It's actually quite the opposite." ― Lucifer Morningstar

"Trust me, a church confessional has nothing compared to pillow talk." ― Lucifer Morningstar

"If it makes you comfy, you could call me God." ― Lucifer Morningstar

Lucifer Morningstar’s quote: "That tingling sensation running up your spine… inevitability. And the bit running down your leg? Fear." | Source: Facebook.com/LuciferNetflix

My mum's gonna kill me. And before you say it, that's not a metaphor. She's literally going to kill me. She's not the forgiving type." ― Lucifer Morningstar

"That tingling sensation running up your spine… inevitability. And the bit running down your leg? Fear." ― Lucifer Morningstar

Funny Quotes from the Rest of the 'Lucifer' Cast

"It's really not a good day for…your…Luciferness." ― Chloe Decker

"Immortality? Mm. Of course. Uh…you spell that with one or two "m"s? I always forget." ― Chloe Decker

Amenadiel: "Linda's not really prepared for a house guest."

Mazikeen: "This is happening, okay? Deal with it. Auntie Maze is here to help with the baby, whether you like it or not."

Dr. Linda Martin: "Auntie Maze. I love it. We can use all the help we can get."

Mazikeen: "Good. It's settled. Now, where do I put my knives?" ― "Lucifer"

Amenadiel ‘s quote: "You sure you don't want to chase after her? Maybe I can ask Father for some rain and make it a moment." | Source: Facebook.com/LuciferNetflix

"Lucifer Morningstar: I am here because I'm the King of Hell. This is my job. This is my duty.

Lee Garner: Now who's making excuses?" ― "Lucifer"

"It's always the ones you least suspect, the ones you trust the most, that hurt you. They wait until your guard is down, and then wham! In my case, it was tequila." ― Ella Lopez

"You sure you don't want to chase after her? Maybe I can ask Father for some rain and make it a moment." ― Amenadiel

"What about the name Zoriel? That's a good name for a warrior. We can call him Zori for short. Or Ezekiel. Zek." ― Amenadiel

"Whenever I'm procrastinating on something, I make an appointment for myself to do it. That way, can't back out. Like, for example, when I had to ask my landlord permission to get Bob, literally put it on my calendar." ― Ella Lopez

Mazikeen Smith’s quote: "I got paid as a bounty hunter. Hunting humans is a job! Who knew?" | Source: Facebook.com/LuciferNetflix

"You know, joining each other at crime scenes, bantering over dead bodies. And where does that leave you, right?" ― Ella Lopez

"I mean, God works in mysterious ways. So you just got to believe that when He crushes your nuts, He does it for a reason." ― Ella Lopez

"Oh, right. The Eve, from the Garden of Eden. I mean, I am carrying an angel baby. I guess this is just a normal Tuesday for me now." ― Dr. Linda Martin

"I got paid as a bounty hunter. Hunting humans is a job! Who knew?" ― Mazikeen Smith

"There's a good chance this thing might come out of me with wings. Wings!" ― Dr. Linda Martin

"My life imploded because of you. My marriage, my Job, my snacks. I know you ate my pudding. It was labeled!" ― Dan Espinoza

Chloe Decker’s quote: "So, couples' therapy? When we've been a couple for what, five seconds?" | Source: Facebook.com/LuciferNetflix

"He rebelled against Dad. Almighty God, for God's sake. Since when do we congratulate a convict for serving a sentence?" ― Michael

"Seriously, sex with Lucifer is the last thing you should be worried about. What you should be worried about is that he's unfathomably narcissistic, utterly terrified of intimacy, and sabotages everything good that ever happens to him. So essentially, he's the oldest, most immature person in the world. Nay, universe." ― Dr. Linda Martin

"So, couples' therapy? When we've been a couple for what, five seconds?" ― Chloe Decker

"So, I'm the only one immune to Lucifer's mojo, so, do I have any powers, or… anything cool? I don't know, laser beam hands, something?!" ― Chloe Decker

Emotional Quotes from 'Lucifer' That Will Stick in Your Mind Longer Than the Jokes

"My first love was never Eve. It was you, Chloe. It always has been." ― Lucifer Morningstar

Lucifer Morningstar’s quote: "Desire shouldn't be contained; it's unnatural." | Source: Facebook.com/LuciferNetflix

"You shouldn't have to change for anyone. And neither should I." ― Lucifer Morningstar

"Sometimes we get along best with the people we're most different from." — Chloe Decker

"Desire shouldn't be contained; it's unnatural." ― Lucifer Morningstar

"We need the most love when we're being most unlovable." ― Amenadiel

"You have to stop taking responsibility for things that you can't control." — Chloe Decker

"You know, I… I think I like this new Lucifer. You've grown. I've been stuck in an old version of us, and, uh, maybe it's time for me to move forward, or for us to move forward together. " — Chloe Decker

Dr. Linda Martin’s quote: "Emotions are hard, but that's why they make you strong." | Source: Facebook.com/LuciferNetflix

"It's better to move forward than stay stuck in the past." — Chloe Decker

"People don't arrive broken. They start with passion and yearning until something comes along that disabuses them of those notions." ― Lucifer Morningstar

"Sometimes it's easier to make intimate issues about something bigger than yourself." ― Dr. Linda Martin

"Emotions are hard, but that's why they make you strong." ― Dr. Linda Martin

"Sometimes, when someone has real feelings for someone, and it doesn't work out, they shut down to anything new until they can deal with those leftover feelings." ― Dr. Linda Martin

Eve’s quote: "Anybody worth dating should understand everything that makes you… you." | Source: Facebook.com/LuciferNetflix

"People sometimes kill the people with whom they're in love. The heart's mysterious." ― Lucifer Morningstar

"Say you fall in love with a woman who has a cat. What are you gonna do? You accept the cat." ― Dan Espinoza

"Sometimes you have to accept when someone doesn't feel the same way about you." ― Mazikeen Smith

"The best thing to do is always to follow your greatest desire." ― Lucifer Morningstar

"Anybody worth dating should understand everything that makes you… you." ― Eve

Dan Espinoza’s quote: "But I never told you what I want. I want you. All in. The whole deal. So there." | Source: Facebook.com/LuciferNetflix

"Sometimes we need to lose something before we can understand its value." ― Dr. Linda Martin

"When the devil walks the earth and meets his first love"; means you consider me to be your... first love. Ergo! You love me." ― Eve

"As though I wanted people to suffer. All I ever wanted was to be my own man here." ― Lucifer Morningstar

"But I never told you what I want. I want you. All in. The whole deal. So there." ― Dan Espinoza

"Yeah, well, our Father's been disrespecting me since the beginning of time, so pot-kettle, don't you think?" ― Lucifer Morningstar

Lucifer Morningstar’s quote: "People don't have power over us. We give it to them." | Source: Facebook.com/LuciferNetflix

"Linda Martin [about Charlie]: You were right. He's not safe. You need to take him.

Amenadiel: No. No one will sacrifice themselves for this baby the way that you were just willing to do. No one will protect him like we will." ― "Lucifer"

"People don't have power over us. We give it to them." ― Lucifer Morningstar

"Lately, I've been thinking. Do you think I'm the Devil because I'm inherently evil, or just because dear ol' dad decided I was?" ― Lucifer Morningstar

"No one expects you to change overnight. It's hard to be one of the good guys. Look, I screw up, too. I've made plenty of mistakes, believe me. But I don't quit… and I know that counts for something. At least you're trying, right?" ― Dan Espinoza

Dr. Linda Martin’s quote: "When angels fall, they also… rise." | Source: Facebook.com/LuciferNetflix

"We might not always understand it, but God has a plan." ― Father Frank

"Lucifer, when you come back unexpectedly and casually drop celestial bombs on the people in your life, you have to expect some shock, some anger, some frustration." ― Dr. Linda Martin

"When angels fall, they also… rise." ― Dr. Linda Martin

"You people misunderstand me. You call me "Satan" and "Devil," but… do you know my crime? I loved God too much. And for that, he betrayed me — punished me." ― Lucifer Morningstar

"All my time with Dr. Linda has been about exploring the denial that I'm in, but I've overcome that now, I've had an honest-to-Devil epiphany. Now all my problems should just, you know, go away." ― Lucifer Morningstar

Dan Espinoza’s quote: "When Trixie was born, I tried to be Super Cop and round up all the criminals I could. Then I realized… removing all the danger in the world is like trying to bottle up the ocean." | Source: Facebook.com/LuciferNetflix

"I find that people make Los Angeles their home for one of two reasons. Either they're running from something or looking for something." ― Dr. Linda Martin

"I know you're trying to push me away. I brought curiosity to that, and I realize you're just in a projective state, 'cause you're feeling vulnerable right now, and that's pretty damn scary." ― Dan Espinoza

"I find people who are rude usually feel powerless in their own lives. Terrified of not being in control." ― Dr. Linda Martin

"When Trixie was born, I tried to be Super Cop and round up all the criminals I could. Then I realized… removing all the danger in the world is like trying to bottle up the ocean." ― Dan Espinoza

Dr. Linda Martin’s quote: "I find people who are rude usually feel powerless in their own lives. Terrified of not being in control." | Source: Facebook.com/LuciferNetflix

The show was picked by Netflix for a fourth season after its cancellation. The same source material was developed into "The Sandman" by the steaming site in 2022, with Gwendoline Christie taking on the role of Lucifer.

"The Sandman" also features Tom Sturridge as Lord Morpheus/Dream, Vivienne Acheampong as Lucienne, and Corey Mylchreest as Adonis.

Dig even deeper into the Gaiman universe by reading 30 'Good Omens' quotes about heavenly humor and devilish depth. He co-wrote the original book "Good Omens" with the late Terry Pratchett.