66 'Scrubs' Quotes to Remember From Our Favorite Doctors in Reel Life
Step into the comedic and heartwarming world of 'Scrubs.' Unlike the typical somber tone of medical dramas, this series brought laughter and lovable characters to the forefront. From the sarcastic Dr. Cox to the quirky J.D. and the strong-willed Carla, the show captured our hearts with its multidimensional personalities.
Medical dramas have become a staple in our everyday lives, with popular shows such as "Grey's Anatomy" and "The Good Doctor." While these shows are entertaining in their own right, "Scrubs" was a breath of fresh air, approaching medical series with a humorous rather than strictly somber tone.
The show aired on NBC from 2001 to 2009, gathering a dedicated following invested in the quirky and sensitive John 'J.D.' Dorian's journey as an intern at a hospital. Beyond this hilarious main character, the show offered up some memorable personalities, such as the sarcastic Dr. Cox, the no-nonsense Carla Espinosa, the goofy Christopher Turk, and the eccentric Elliot Reid.
While the show was a comedy, it did have its heartfelt moments, which, because of the humorous nature of the series, were significantly hard-hitting for the audience.
Read 66 of these funny and emotional "Scrubs" quotes below to remember the exciting characters and dialogue that kept viewers glued to their screens.
Dr. Cox and Bob Kelso, with Dr. Cox’s quote: “Death doesn't really bother me unless it's someone I know. And even then, if it happens in a funny way... I still actually enjoy it.” | Source: Facebook.com/scrubs
Famous 'Scrubs' Quotes from Dr. Cox
“Barbie why did you order this test? For the love of God, are you a real doctor or a doctor like Dr. Pepper is a doctor? Hmmm?” — Dr. Cox
“You know, Newbie, it’s so interesting — I found I couldn't sleep last night, so, in order to pass the time, I started to make a list of things that annoy me more than you...” — Dr. Cox
“You've been wrong so many times that I'm not even going to say something is wrong anymore. I'm going to say that it's 'Dorian'.” — Dr. Cox
"The simple fact that you seem to even care is why I took an interest in you to begin with. It's why I trust you as a doctor." — Dr. Cox
“Death doesn't really bother me unless it's someone I know. And even then, if it happens in a funny way... I still actually enjoy it.” — Dr. Cox
Multiple characters from ”Scrubs” with Dr. Cox’s quote: "For the love of God, are you a real doctor or a doctor like Dr. Pepper is a doctor? Hmmm?” | Source: Facebook.com/scrubs
"Oh dear God, you’ll scream so loud that Satan will want to tear up that contract he made with you at birth just so he can get some sleep." — Dr. Cox
“Dr. Cox: And Gandheroo, I need you to talk to a young, pregnant black girl who will not let me call her mom.
Turk: Why would she listen to me?
Dr. Cox: I may have told her that you were Kanye West.” — "Scrubs"
“Statistics mean nothing to the individual. Not a damn thing.” — Dr. Cox
“My first patient today was a snot-nosed little punk who wouldn’t let me give him a rectal exam unless I said 'pretty please' first...” — Dr. Cox
"Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies. Will they, won't they, and then they finally do, and they're happy forever." — Dr. Cox
Multiple characters from ”Scrubs” with Dr. Cox’s quote: “Statistics mean nothing to the individual. Not a damn thing.” | Source: Facebook.com/scrubs
“And the princess and the [expletive] decided that their kiss didn't mean anything. [JD as The Village [expletive] and Elliot as The Princess shake hands] Because in the end... they were both [expletive].” — Dr. Cox
“Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present 'Man Not Caring.'” — Dr. Cox
“Life is pointless, Gandhi, and I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. The only thing more pointless than life itself is being a doctor. I mean, bottom line, you spend eight years and 200 G's trying to get through med school, and what do you have to show for it? I'll tell ya. A diploma on your wall, and a bullseye on your back.” — Dr. Cox
"John Dorian: I think you won't face Ben because you're afraid.
Dr. Cox: I think you're right. I do. Partly because you've really gotten to know me this year, but mostly it's because well...I told you that I was afraid earlier today." — "Scrubs"
“I’m gonna write you a couple of prescriptions. You’ll find this first one is for an oversized mallet so you can pound some sense into yourself. This next one is for a big floppy hat that your now obligated to where every time you leave the house. Have a nice day, you look like a purse.” — Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox, with his quote: “Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present 'Man Not Caring.'” | Source: Facebook.com/scrubs
“J.D.: Dr. Cox, I'd like to take this one.
Dr. Cox: Go ahead.
J.D.: Mr. Steel, first name, Man of.
Dr. Cox: And you're done.” — "Scrubs"
“Dr. Cox: I've seen the Wiggles live in concert... twice.
Turk: Did they perform 'Big Red Car'?
Dr. Cox: They opened and closed the show with it. It was awesome.” — "Scrubs
"I'm getting two out of three from the conversation." — Dr. Cox
Funny and Sensitive Quotes from John ‘J.D.’ Dorian
“I grew up on the street... No, not the hood. The Sesame Street.” — John 'J.D.' Dorian
“The truth is, it is all your memories, the joyful ones and the heartbreaking ones, that make up who you are as a person.” — John 'J.D.' Dorian
Christoper Turk and John 'J.D.' Dorian with Dorian’s quote: “Sometimes in life when you get what you want, you end up missing what you left behind.” | Source: Facebook.com/scrubs
"It's about the day I realized that admitting we're not heroic is when we're the most heroic of all." — John 'J.D.' Dorian
"I know that you don't think about me the way that I think about you." — John 'J.D.' Dorian
“As I looked at all the relationships around me... Some that had gone on forever... some that were reigniting... and some that had just begun... I realized something: It should have been me.” — John 'J.D.' Dorian
"I guess we all want to believe that what we do is very important, that people hang on to our every word, that they care what we think." — John 'J.D.' Dorian
“J.D.: ...That's why it's always nice when someone takes the time to reach out and befriend you.
New Doctor: Hey! I'm Ron, I'm a new doctor here.
J.D.: Hey Ron, the "I don't care" ward's down there.” — "Scrubs"
Christoper Turk and John 'J.D.' Dorian with Dorian’s quote: “I grew up on the street... No, not the hood. The Sesame Street.” | Source: Facebook.com/scrubs
“The point is, Elliot. You're a lot stronger than you used to be. I've changed, too... I have a beard now.” — John 'J.D.' Dorian
“Dr. Cox: Newbie, do you want me to give my "things I don't care about" speech again? Because I've updated it to include all white guys who add -izzle to anything.
J.D.: I agrizzle, my nizzle.” — "Scrubs"
“It's okay, Perry. You just said how you feel. Honestly, I am so full of your love right now, I literally could not take another drop. Brace yourself, I'm coming in. You smell like a father figure.” — John 'J.D.' Dorian
"I'll always dial the K for you." — John 'J.D.' Dorian
John 'J.D.' Dorian with another character and his quote: You're a lot stronger than you used to be. I've changed, too... I have a beard now.” | Source: Facebook.com/scrubs
“Sometimes in life when you get what you want, you end up missing what you left behind.” — John 'J.D.' Dorian
“Dr. Cox: Newbie, how you doing?
J.D.: OK, keep it together. It's "be a man" time. [out loud] No, it's fine. You went with your gut. Elliot's a great doctor. I do have three questions, though. Why do you hate me when I show you nothing but love?! Who's going to tell my mom?! And what the hell am I supposed to do with ten thousand 'John Dorian, Chief Resident' business cards?!” — "Scrubs"
"Whether it's the support of someone close to you, or letting yourself feel overwhelmed - if only for a moment." — John 'J.D.' Dorian
“Look, Elliot, I don't know if it's possible for me to put how I feel about you into words, but I guess I'll give it a shot. I never really believed I'd find somebody that I love as much as you. I love you more than anything in the whole world. Elliot, I love you more than Turk.” — John 'J.D.' Dorian
“No matter how much we like to pretend otherwise, strong, confident women will always have the power over us. Whether they're fighting for respect, fighting for their man, or even just fighting for the hell of it. Strong women make all guys feel the same way.” — John 'J.D.' Dorian
Carla Espinosa and John 'J.D.' Dorian with Dorian’s quote: “I realized that admitting we're not heroic is when we're the most heroic of all." | Source: Facebook.com/scrubs
“In the end, you have to trust that the perfect woman will always lead you in the right direction.” — John 'J.D.' Dorian
“Lucy: Great class, Doctor D! Even better than the one you did with interpretive dance.
J.D.: Thanks, Lucy. I like to call it 'Teacher-tainment.'” — "Scrubs"
“Actually, it’s not a helmet. It’s a hair met. It has extra room so you don’t mess up your hairdo.” — John 'J.D.' Dorian
“Dr. Cox: Shower Shorts?
J.D: For the man who has nothing to hide but still wants to.” — "Scrubs"
“And who's to say this isn't what happens? Who can tell me that my fantasies won't come true? Just this once...” — John 'J.D.' Dorian
'Scrubs' Quotes from Dr. Turk, Carla Espinosa, and Other Characters
Elliot Reid and John 'J.D.' Dorian with Reid’s quote: “Yeah, I'm not that great with kids. They've got such tiny hands. It's creepy.” | Source: Facebook.com/scrubs
“Why do white people ruin everything? I only got to say ‘fo shizzle’ for a week.” — Christopher Turk
“Carla: Elliot, you can't test love. When I met Turk, it seemed he was more in love with his best friend than with me.
Turk: Honey, they've got that almond biscotti J.D. loves, so I was wondering if I can borrow some money so I can get him some.
Carla: No, you got him a present yesterday.” — "Scrubs"
“Dr. Cox: So, Gandhi, what did your wife think of her terrible present?
Turk: I haven't told her yet. I mean, I was going to, but her not knowing I understand Spanish is like having a secret power. It got me flapjacks for dinner.” — "Scrubs"
“Carla: I can get mad, Turk, if you give me a little help.
Turk: If you had no hair, you'd look like Danny Devito.” — "Scrubs"
“Before Izzy was born, if I saw a half-eaten meatball sub in the trash, you better believe I would dust that bad boy off and go to town on it! But now, I'm not risking my health eating trash- ood. I mean, unless it's a corn dog.” — Christopher Turk
Bob Kelso with his quote: “This is not 'Bring Your Problems To Work Day', this is just 'Work Day.'” | Source: Facebook.com/scrubs
“Do you see what you get, Carla?! Do you see what you get when you mess with the warrior?!" — Christopher Turk
“He doesn't know that I cry sometimes because... I'm not sure there's a cat heaven.” — Carla Espinosa
"Why is there silverware in the pancake drawer?" — Carla Espinosa
"You think you have the answers to everything, but instead, you end up throwing gas on the fire, and everyone else has to pay the consequences." — Carla Espinosa
“Turk! If you can't remember to put the cap on the toothpaste, how are we going to raise our children? You know what? I'm going to stay with my sister!” — Carla Espinosa
Carla Espinosa with her quote: “He doesn't know that I cry sometimes because... I'm not sure there's a cat heaven.” | Source: Facebook.com/scrubs
“J.D.: Morning, Elliot. By the way, Julie's here, but I'm not gonna kiss and tell.
Elliot: Oh, really, 'cause I just got your text. That said 'Bone City.'” — "Scrubs"
“How is it that no man understands that every woman, whether she's sixteen or sixty, still has that awkward, insecure, self-conscious teenage girl inside of her?” — Elliot Reid
“Elliot: Carla, if your wedding ceremony's gonna be in Spanish, how will I know that you're officially married?
Carla: Cause all my cousins will throw tortillas in the air and fire their guns.
Elliot: Really? God,I wish I was ethnic.” — "Scrubs"
“Elliot: Carla, when I became Chief Resident, I wrote a pledge to myself. And do you know what it said?
Elliot: It said, 'Dance like nobody is watching.' Which I do constantly... in my living room, with the shades closed just in case somebody is watching. But it also said not to hide problems away.” — "Scrubs"
“Yeah, I'm not that great with kids. They've got such tiny hands. It's creepy.” — Elliot Reid
Christoper Turk and John 'J.D.' Dorian with Turk’s quote: “Why do white people ruin everything? I only got to say ‘fo shizzle’ for a week.” | Source: Facebook.com/scrubs
“This is not 'Bring Your Problems To Work Day', this is just 'Work Day.'” — Bob Kelso
“Ah, back when I was a resident I remember…blah, blah, blah, nostalgic story. Now get the hell out of my office!” — Bob Kelso
“Who the hell cares about what anybody else thinks? Just look into your heart and do whatever the hell makes you happy.” — Bob Kelso
“Nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy.” — Bob Kelso
“Every mother wanted me to marry their daughter 'cause I was a doctor...” — Bob Kelso
Multiple characters from ”Scrubs” with a patient’s quote: “Nah, I punched a whale. Right in the face. Down he went, like Liston.” | Source: Facebook.com/scrubs
“Ah, the old gal down in the pharmacy doesn't know that I've retired, so she still hooks me up with free morning-after pills.” — Bob Kelso
"I never really believed that you would or could love me. But just pretending for today made me feel good for a change." — Janitor
“J.D.: Well, I still want to refer you to a dermatologist, but it looks benign.
Janitor: Yeah, benign, nine and a half...” — "Scrubs"
Elliot Reid with her quote: “Every woman, whether she's sixteen or sixty, still has that awkward, insecure, self-conscious teenage girl inside of her…” | Source: Facebook.com/scrubs
“I don't believe in the moon. I think it’s just the back of the sun.” — Janitor
“Patient: I was so obsessed with getting my J.D. that I never did the things I really wanted to do. Start a family. See the world.
Janitor: Punch a whale.
Patient: Nah, I punched a whale. Right in the face. Down he went, like Liston.” — Janitor
“Okay, look, attention!.. Setting aside, for a moment, the fact that I’m going to make sure that you all live to regret this day, let’s keep the magic rolling. Let’s not tell anyone else that there’s a toilet on the roof…[Todd walks in] There is not a toilet on the roof!” — Janitor
John 'J.D.' Dorian with his quote: “Actually, it’s not a helmet. It’s a hair-met. It has extra room so you don’t mess up your hairdo.” | Source: Facebook.com/scrubs
From Dr. Cox's (played by John C. McGinley) witty one-liners, J.D's (played by Zach Braff) quirky yet insightful perspectives on life, and Carla's (played by Judy Reyes.) strong personality, among the many other characters and absorbing storylines, this show is a delightful mixture of wisdom and comedy.
If anything, "Scrubs" shows us that we can learn about life through a lighter lens, even if those lessons are difficult to face. In fact, comedy will soften the burn.
One character that truly embodies this approach to life is Dr. Cox. Read these 35 Dr. Cox Quotes on the Wit and Wisdom of Scrubs’ Iconic Character.