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An image of the Smith family with Francine Smith's quote, "Nothing bonds a family like a dark, horrible secret." | Source: facebook.com/AmericanDad
An image of the Smith family with Francine Smith's quote, "Nothing bonds a family like a dark, horrible secret." | Source: facebook.com/AmericanDad

33 'American Dad' Quotes from the Wacky World of the Smiths

Christell Fatima M. Tudtud
May 15, 2023
04:00 P.M.
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"American Dad!" is a beloved animated TV sitcom that has entertained audiences since its premiere in 2005. The show follows the wacky life of Stan Smith, a patriotic C.I.A. agent with an unwavering love for his country. Here are 33 quotes from the iconic show.

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Stan's quirky family includes his wife Francine, their children Steve and Hayley, and an alien named Roger. Together, they find themselves in the wildest situations, always bringing their unique humor and quirks to each adventure.

Through their unpredictable challenges and hilarious antics, the Smith family never fails to provide non-stop laughter for viewers. The show's satirical take on politics, society, and culture is another standout feature.

While the show often tackles mature content, the family's playful banter—as shown in the quotes below—with other characters Klaus, Jeff Fischer, and Avery Bullock, adds a delightful twist to the series that fans can't get enough of.

Francine Smith's quote: "Stan, we can't have a grown woman acting like a child in our house. This ain't no Disney Channel." | Source: facebook.com/AmericanDad

Francine Smith's quote: "Stan, we can't have a grown woman acting like a child in our house. This ain't no Disney Channel." | Source: facebook.com/AmericanDad

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Eccentric Quotes of Roger the Alien in 'American Dad!'

"It's 67 degrees outside, and I hate you." — Roger the Alien

"I'll have a mango tea. Shaken not shtirred. Shtirred. Is that how I say it?" — Roger the Alien

"You hustlin' me, boy?" — Roger the Alien

"What is this and how can I replace my blood with it?" — Roger the Alien

"Why can't I leave things nice?" — Roger the Alien

Klaus's quote: "Welcome to Hell, otherwise known as my life." | Source: facebook.com/AmericanDad

Klaus's quote: "Welcome to Hell, otherwise known as my life." | Source: facebook.com/AmericanDad

"Behind the wheel of every taxi is a sad confused person who lost a bet they didn't understand." — Roger the Alien

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"Roger the Alien: [Steve has an electric guitar. Roger has an Octopus, an abacus and a hairdryer] Your thing looks more interesting.

[throws his stuff away]" — Roger the Alien, "American Dad!"

"Klaus: Am I early for Book Club?

Roger the Alien: No! You're late! And that's two weeks in a row! You're out!

Klaus: I didn't read it anyway..." — Roger the Alien and Klaus, "American Dad!"

"Thank you Umar, thank you for showing me I can go on without you!" — Roger the Alien

"Let's turn this country around. Let's make things again." — Roger the Alien

Steve Smith's quote: "No, Dad, crazy baloney is real. It's called pepperoni." | Source: facebook.com/AmericanDad

Steve Smith's quote: "No, Dad, crazy baloney is real. It's called pepperoni." | Source: facebook.com/AmericanDad

"That's it! It's not a real party until somebody dies!" — Roger the Alien

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"You are resisting my lessons! Now I must slumber, and dream of Spatchcocking T-Rexes with my Childhood Friend, Jean-Baptiste." — Roger the Alien

"Do not fear me, pretty one, though my outward appearance may repulse thee I assure you my intentions are most pure." — Roger the Alien

Stan Smith's Witty and Quirky Quotes in 'American Dad!'

"Football Legend: Stan, I thought the CIA was done with me! I still have the headaches and the nightmares! What happened in Munich? Who did I kill?

Stan Smith: No, I'm not here about that. It's my kid's birthday!" — Stan Smith, "American Dad!"

Roger the Alien's quote: "It's 67 degrees outside, and I hate you." | Source: AmoDays

Roger the Alien's quote: "It's 67 degrees outside, and I hate you." | Source: AmoDays

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"Is it true that you can make Tony Blair do anything you want? Like if you said he had to eat a bug, he'd eat it even if it had lots of legs?" — Stan Smith to George W. Bush, "American Dad!"

"But I wouldn't be here if it weren't for my gym teacher Mr. Raglan, who taught me everything I know about seduction!" — Stan Smith during CIA awards

"We need to have a talk about point of view. Every villain is the hero of his own cinnamon apple monkey toaster." — Stan Smith

"Son if you ever want to crawl your way out of this Geek Swamp, you're going to have to log some FaceTime with the Cool Kids." — Stan Smith

Roger the Alien's quote: "Let's turn this country around. Let's make things again."| Source: facebook.com/AmericanDad

Roger the Alien's quote: "Let's turn this country around. Let's make things again."| Source: facebook.com/AmericanDad

"You know what the best part of my day is? The five seconds after I wake up, before I remember who I am." — Stan Smith

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Unlocking the Laughs: More Best Quotes from 'American Dad!'

"Zip it, lock it, and put it in your pocket." — Francine Smith

"No, Dad, crazy baloney is real. It's called pepperoni." — Steve Smith

"It's called 'Fortress of Solitude.' Not 'Fortress of Come on In.'" — Steve Smith

Hayley Smith's quote: "When I have a baby, I'm going to name it 'Recycle.'" | Source: facebook.com/AmericanDad

Hayley Smith's quote: "When I have a baby, I'm going to name it 'Recycle.'" | Source: facebook.com/AmericanDad

"Stan, we can't have a grown woman acting like a child in our house. This ain't no Disney Channel." — Francine Smith

"I guess I just picked a bouquet of oopsie-daisies." — Stan Smith

"I haven't seen you in 10 years! Are you still 30?" — Francine Smith

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Steve Smith's quote: "It's called 'Fortress of Solitude.' Not 'Fortress of Come on In.'" | Source: facebook.com/AmericanDad

Steve Smith's quote: "It's called 'Fortress of Solitude.' Not 'Fortress of Come on In.'" | Source: facebook.com/AmericanDad

"Nothing bonds a family like a dark, horrible secret." — Francine Smith

"That dream is a warning. Society's trying to brainwash me to conform, to color inside the lines, to get married and have babies. Well I'm not drinking the Kool-Aid anymore." — Hayley Smith to Francine Smith

Stan Smith's quote: "You know what the best part of my day is? The five seconds after I wake up, before I remember who I am." | Source: facebook.com/AmericanDad

Stan Smith's quote: "You know what the best part of my day is? The five seconds after I wake up, before I remember who I am." | Source: facebook.com/AmericanDad

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"When I have a baby, I'm going to name it 'Recycle.'" — Hayley Smith

"I think I'm broken." — Steve Smith

Stan Smith's quote: "I guess I just picked a bouquet of oopsie-daisies." | Source: facebook.com/AmericanDad

Stan Smith's quote: "I guess I just picked a bouquet of oopsie-daisies." | Source: facebook.com/AmericanDad

"I'm going to go to the Bead Store, buy some beads, and then open a Bead Store!" — Jeff Fischer

"Dad! Fat people drive the Economy with their Purchases of Fast Food and Garfield Comics!" — Hayley Smith

"Why do I have to do the sign, can't these people read? Oh, they can't, right..." — Avery Bullock

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Roger the Alien's quote:"I'll have a mango tea. Shaken not shtirred. Shtirred. Is that how I say it?" | Source: facebook.com/AmericanDad

Roger the Alien's quote:"I'll have a mango tea. Shaken not shtirred. Shtirred. Is that how I say it?" | Source: facebook.com/AmericanDad

The animated sitcom has entertained audiences for years with its perfect blend of satire, humor, and quirkiness. It serves as a reminder to find joy and humor in the face of challenges.

The show owes its success to the brilliant minds of Seth McFarlane, Mike Barker, and Matt Weitzman. It has featured a variety of famous voices, including wrestling icon Hulk Hogan, actress Lisa Kudrow, and reality star Kim Kardashian.

To keep the laughter going, here are some humorous quotes from Dr. Zoiberg, a character from another beloved animated sitcom, "Futurama."

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