73 'Letterkenny' Quotes that Will Make You Laugh Until You Cry

A myriad of legendary television productions have been released from Canada over time, and the sitcom, “Letterkenny” is certainly one of them. With 10 seasons and a spinoff under its belt, “Letterkenny” has stood the test of time as a relatable sitcom perfect for all ages. We have gathered 73 of the funniest quotes from the hilarious characters in the show.

“Letterkenny” is a Canadian sitcom that was developed by Jared Keeso and Jacob Tierney. Like a growing number of television productions, it was originally created as a YouTube web series in 2015.

“Letterkenny” debuted on television screens in February 2016 and its 10th season debuted in December 2021. The sitcom won the award for Best Comedy Series at the fifth annual Canadian Screen Awards in 2017. The sitcom gained a loyal following from millions of fans globally and will release its 11th season in 2022.

The characters on the show have, since the first season, churned out unforgettable and rib-tickling quotes as they lived through their endless shenanigans in the fictional town of Letterkenny. Here are 73 of the absolute best of them.

Katy’s quote: “On a scale from one to America, how free are you right now?” | Image: AmoDays

KATY'S QUOTES

“If I was a Dr. Seuss book, I’d be The Fat in the Hat.”

“That was well brought up. Too bad you weren’t.”

“On a scale from one to America, how free are you right now?”

“You save the poop talk for us, and that's what I appreciate about you, Squirrely Dan.”

"Oh, I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the [expletive] windshield.”

Katy’s quote: “That was well brought up. Too bad you weren’t.” | Image: AmoDays

“You two ever make me walk this far again, and we’re making babies.”

SQUIRRELLY DAN'S QUOTES

“Yeah. Oh, hey, look at you, ground.”

“…I’m too fat to run.”

“I’m so upset about my perennials.”

“You love that movie 'The Fox and the Hound' so much you can’t bring yourself to kill the fox that’s been getting into the chicken coop. You don’t care if that makes you softer than a Disney matinee.”

Squirrelly Dan’s quote: “You’re pretty good at wrestling there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciate about you.” | Image: AmoDays

“Your sister’s hot, Wayne! There I said it! I said it! I regret nothing! I regret nothing!”

“You’re pretty good at wrestling there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciate about you.”

GAIL'S QUOTES

“Make sure you use that sunscreen ‘cause it’s a great day for hay.”

“I need to give you one more chance to retract, no questions asked. Before this conversation becomes a confrontation.”

“Look, if you are coming, you better come correct.”

Gail’s quote: “Look, if you are coming, you better come correct.” | Image: AmoDays

DARYL'S QUOTES

“This eau de toilette is enchantingly refreshing on summer days like this.”

“You knew your pal had come into money when he started throwing out perfectly good pistachios like he was above cracking ‘em open with a box cutter like the rest of us.”

“You came to after having a bar fight. Felt like you got hit by a car, right? But your pal had your back, went on the attack, but it turned off his gal like a night light.”

“I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow? Did ya get a tracking number? Oh, I hope he got a tracking number. That package is going to be smaller than the one you’re sporting now.”

“Is there any concern, from the family at large I mean, about the number of poop-related bannings that occur in your bloodline?”

Daryl’s quote: “This eau de toilette is enchantingly refreshing on summer days like this.” | Image: AmoDays

“I found an eyelash, make a wish.”

WAYNE'S QUOTES

“If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Goose, then you have a problem with me. And I suggest you let that one marinate.”

“Do you know what? I don’t want you to kiss and tell. That’s impolite. But I am kind of curious.”

“Tim’s, McDonald’s, and the beer store are all closed on Christmas Day. And that’s your whole world right there.”

“I want to give back to the community by helping people find love.”

Wayne’s quote: “You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl.” | Image: AmoDays

“You’d best be preparin’ for a Donny Brook if you think I’m going to that super soft birthday party of yours.”

“You’re made of spare parts, aren’t you, bud?”

“Oh, I got so much time for sushi.”

“In the words of the genre-bending Canadian indie rock band Arcade Fire, ‘wake up.’"

“You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl.”

Wayne’s quote: “It’s always ok to fart when you’re alone. Except when you’re in elevators. That’s uncouth.” | Image: AmoDays

"There’s something really pervy about that word ‘taste.’”

“You’re a cup of baby carrots.”

“It’s always ok to fart when you’re alone. Except when you’re in elevators. That’s uncouth.”

“Closest you’re gettin’ to any action this weekend is givin’ the dairy cow’s teets a good scrubbin’.”

“I signed the deal and the Twin Towers come down, think about that.”

Wayne’s quote: “You wish there was a pied piper for possums. But there isn’t.” | Image: AmoDays

“You take your shirt off, but leave your sunglasses on? What sort of backwards [expletive] pageantry is that?”

“He lifted my flip-flops from the lost and found at the public pool and I can prove it.”

“High five for hibernation, buddy.”

“Oh, come on, kitten. I won’t tell anyone.”

“You wish there was a pied piper for possums. But there isn’t, so you’re just gonna have to keep picking ‘em off with a .22.”

Wayne’s quote: “Oh, get off the cross, we need the wood.” | Image: AmoDays

“You know not to be impolite but sometimes a gal will do some kissing on the ears. Which makes me uncomfortable because even though I clean my ears, sometimes a tater will just roll out of there unexpected.”

“Don’t you mess around with me. There’s nothing too happy about commemorating the beating and execution of third-century Roman archbishop Saint Valentine.”

"You got half your finger cut off one of three ways: bike chain, bandsaw, penalty box door.”

“It’s a hard life picking stones and pulling teats, but as sure as God’s got sandals, it beats fighting dudes with treasure trails.”

“Your cousin said he could get a One Direction CD for your sister’s birthday party, which is fine, but he was a little quick to the draw there.”

Wayne’s quote: “Now, I went on the internet and researched ostriches. Firstly, ostriches can run up to seventy miles an hour. So, catching one, even a sick one, is a super tall order.” | Image: AmoDays

“Your cousin named his cat Harry Pottery Barn which was confusing till you found out he named his bong Samwise Ganja.”

“Oh, c’mon, where’s your jam, bud?”

“Oh, get off the cross, we need the wood.”

“Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except kids falling off bikes, maybe.”

“The stupidest thing I ever heard in my life is that a baby is smart.”

Wayne’s quote: “Not my pig, not my farm.” | Image: AmoDays

“You woke up on your friend’s lawn the other day but your friend’s lawn is in Michigan so, that’s a bit off-putting.”

“Now, I went on the internet and researched ostriches. Firstly, ostriches can run up to seventy miles an hour. So, catching one, even a sick one, is a super tall order.”

“Bad gas travels real fast in a small town.”

“What I said was: I got real long eyelashes. Well, I’m surprised no one has ever noticed that.”

“The only animal in the animal kingdom that wants anything to do with Canada goose is Canada mooses.”

Wayne’s quote: “In the words of the genre-bending Canadian indie rock band Arcade Fire, ‘Wake up.’" | Image: AmoDays

“You lose a lot of heat in the neck.”

“The world needs less Facebook and more Face-to-Face!”

“When you are bringing complaints to someone, they’ll be more receptive to alter into their behavior if you make it your problem, rather than placing the blame on them.”

“Not my pig, not my farm.”

“Because it’s too complicated – it’s like algebra: Why you gotta put numbers and letters together?”

Daryl’s quote “Is there any concern, from the family at large I mean, about the number of poop-related bannings that occur in your bloodline?” | Image: AmoDays

“You wanna come to a super soft birthday party?”

SHORESY'S QUOTES

“Tell your mom to top off the cell phone she bought me so I can FaceTime her late at night!”

“Your Mom just liked my Instagram post from two years ago in Puerta Vallarta.”

Shoresy’s quote: “Jonesy your life is so pathetic I get a charity tax break just by hanging around you." | Image: AmoDays

“Jonesy your life is so pathetic I get a charity tax break just by hanging around you.”

OTHER CHARACTER'S QUOTES

“We only got one shot at this. One chance. One win. You know? Vomit on your mom’s spaghetti, or whatever that talking singer says.” — Coach

"Your mom just liked my Instagram post from 2 years ago in Puerto Vallarta. Tell her I’ll put my swim trunks on for her any time she likes.” — Reilly

“I mean, just because my name is Reilly doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m a drunken leprechaun.” — Reilly

Jonesy quote: “Nice onesie. Does it come in men’s?" | Image: AmoDays

“I have never been less embarrassed in all my life.” — Coach

“Oh, do you now? My wife goes to the city every few months for one of those spa days, she loves it. Picks out her masseuse on there, what do you call it, on the phone there? The Tinder? Picks out her masseuse and makes a day of it.” — Bank Manager

“Boys, listen... I'm as progressive as the next guy! I get it! It's 2013, I watch Ellen." — Bank Manager

“Your wardrobe color scheme looks like a bi-polar spell!” — Mrs. McMurray

“Nice onesie. Does it come in men’s? — Jonesy

Coaches’ quote: “We only got one shot at this. One chance. One win. You know? Vomit on your mom’s spaghetti, or whatever that talking singer says.” | Image: AmoDays

Forbes has

“Letterkenny” as one of the most creative comedies on television in terms of production. It gets better as it progresses through the seasons and will hopefully keep improving with time.

If you haven’t given “Letterkenny” a try, settle in for some hilarious, binge-worthy 10 seasons and catch up with the characters of the rural town before its 11th season premieres. You’re guaranteed to join the loyal fan base.

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