82 ‘Jersey Shore’ Quotes from the Outlandish Cast
"Jersey Shore," a show associated with raunchiness and reckless partying, became a guilty pleasure for MTV viewers. Read the 82 quotes below to remember or introduce yourself to some of the show's memorable reality stars.
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"Jersey Shore," premiering on MTV in 2009, followed a group of Italian-American roommates living in Jersey Shore as they went through their daily lives together. The show focused on their crazy nights out, relational dramas, sexual activities, and sometimes altercations that turned physical.
Although high in viewership, "Jersey Shore" was met with distaste, notably from Italian-American advocacy groups; they grew concerned over the image the show's stars portrayed for the Italian community.
The reality show stars displayed outrageous and exciting characters, with some remaining famous today. Read the 82 quotes below to get to know some of the cast of the "Jersey Shore" series better.
Nicole Polizzi's quote: "Every time I meet a nice guy, he dies. It's the same with every pet, friend, or relative I've ever had. Everyone dies!" | Image: AmoDays
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Mike Sorrentino AKA Mike "The Situation" Quotes
"You can hate on me all you want to, but what can you possibly say to somebody that looks like Rambo, pretty much, with his shirt off?" — Mike Sorrentino
"From now on, you're excluded from surf and turf night. You're excluded from ravioli night. You're excluded from chicken cutlet night." — Mike Sorrentino
"My abs are so ripped up. It's called the Situation." — Mike Sorrentino
"I felt bad about Snickers getting hit by a couple linebackers. I necessarily didn't want to bring home any sort of zoo creatures whatsoever. I mean, these broads just probably smelled the food at the house." — Mike Sorrentino
"I told Pauly D to start the grill, and he puts charcoal in a gas grill, then he asks me to light it, and we were this close to pretty much blowing up the house." — Mike Sorrentino
Mike Sorrentino’s quote: "Everybody loves me, babies, dogs, ya know, hot girls, cougars. I just have unbelievable mass appeal." | Image: AmoDays
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"I never thought somebody would make Snooki look like a rocket scientist, but Deena takes the cake." — Mike Sorrentino
"I like my clothes like my women...options." — Mike Sorrentino
"G.T.L. baby. Gym, Tanning, Laundry." — Mike Sorrentino
"You are the worst argument person ever!" — Mike Sorrentino
"Everybody loves me, babies, dogs, ya know, hot girls, cougars. I just have unbelievable mass appeal." — Mike Sorrentino
Mike Sorrentino’s quote: "G.T.L. baby. Gym, Tanning, Laundry." | Image: AmoDays
"With me and Sam, it's not a matter of if she wants to hook up with me; it's a matter of just when I decide." — Mike Sorrentino
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"It's obvious that Sammi has a crush on me, and that's obvious. It goes back to the days of prehistoric kindergarten." — Mike Sorrentino
"It's like having chicken put on the table with salt and pepper, then somebody takes away the chicken, and then you're left with salt and pepper." — Mike Sorrentino
"Down here at the Shore, one minute you've got three girls in the Jacuzzi, the next minute somebody's in jail, and you have to bail them out. That's what happens down at the Shore." — Mike Sorrentino
"I wait till the last minute to shave; I wait till the last minute to put the shirt on 'cause you feel fresh. These are rules to live by, shave last minute, haircut the day of, maybe some tanning, and the gym. You gotta do the guido handbook." — Mike Sorrentino
Mike Sorrentino’s quote: "You are the worst argument person ever!" | Image: AmoDays
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"When there was knockin' on the door, I was like, this is either the police for me, this is either some lawyer, somebody's dad, somebody's brother..." — Mike Sorrentino
Ronnie Ortiz-Magro AKA Ron Quotes
"My only rule: Never fall in love at the Jersey Shore." — Ronnie Ortiz-Magro
"Snooki walks in the door with this Gremlin look-a-like, and she says she's the new roommate." — Ronnie Ortiz-Magro
"Right away, I know it's either Snooki or Jenni, but then I read the letter, and I see the word 'wisely,' and I know Snooki doesn't use that kinda vocabulary." — Ronnie Ortiz-Magro
"You just take your shirt off, and they come to you; it's like a fly comes to [expletive]." — Ronnie Ortiz-Magro
Ronnie Ortiz-Magro’s quote: "My only rule: Never fall in love at the Jersey Shore." | Image: AmoDays
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Paul Delvecchio AKA Pauly D Quotes
"You better send roses to the house, you feel me? Roses, dawg. With pickles in them—fried pickles!" — Paul DelVecchio
"I'm out of gel — Justin Bieber eat your heart out." — Paul DelVecchio
"The Situation's style is like super obnoxiously aggressive." — Paul DelVecchio
"She just doesn't want to feel like a trash bag because she has a boyfriend, and she kissed me with her tongue." — Paul DelVecchio
Paul DelVecchio ‘s quote: "There's no way I'm going to Jersey without my hair gel, can't leave without my gel." | Image: AmoDays
"I am the pimp daddy Mac on this whole place." — Paul DelVecchio
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"This woman is not a grenade; this woman is an atomic bomb." — Paul DelVecchio
"My hair didn't even move an inch, and I was in and out of the water. My hair's windproof, waterproof, soccer-proof, motorcycle-proof. I'm not sure if my hair's bulletproof; I'm not willin' to try that." — Paul DelVecchio
"Ya can't get tanned in this weather; ya can't creep in this weather, you can't do anything... girls don't come out in this weather, they stay in the house." — Paul DelVecchio
"Before Jersey Shore, I was a DJ struggling to promote, deejaying six nights a week and hustling to pack clubs." — Paul DelVecchio
Paul DelVecchio‘s quote: "I was born and raised a Guido. It's just a lifestyle; it's being Italian; it's representing family, friends, tanning, gel, everything." | Image: AmoDays
"One, two, three, four—I declare a prank war." — Paul DelVecchio
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"This is the biggest night of my entire life, and everybody's career rides on my DJ set." — Paul DelVecchio
"It's so hard to find a good man these days. That's why I date women." — Paul DelVecchio
"You gotta stay 'fresh to death,' I call it. Fresh outfit, fresh haircut, fresh tan. Just stay fresh." — Paul DelVecchio
"You don't come in here on Sunday with a big banana and expect everything to be peaches." — Paul DelVecchio
Paul DelVecchio‘s quote: "You stalk my whole entire life." | Image: AmoDays
"There's no way I'm going to Jersey without my hair gel, can't leave without my gel." — Paul DelVecchio
"I'm not trying to fall in love on the Jersey Shore. I'm just trying to hook up." — Paul DelVecchio
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"Being called Angelina is like one of the worst things you could ever be called." — Paul DelVecchio
"You stalk my whole entire life." — Paul DelVecchio
"I was born and raised a Guido. It's just a lifestyle; it's being Italian, it's representing family, friends, tanning, gel, everything." — Paul DelVecchio
Deena Nicole Cortese AKA Deena “Blast in a Glass” Cortese Quotes
Deena Nicole Cortese's quote: "Whatever, I forgot to put my underwears on." | Image: AmoDays
"You should know about trashy, baby. You're from Staten Island!" — Deena Nicole Cortese
"They have defied the law of intelligence." — Deena Nicole Cortese
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"I'm like a hamster in heat." — Deena Nicole Cortese
"I'm surrounded by couples every day; it's so annoying." — Deena Nicole Cortese
"Whatever, I forgot to put my underwears on." — Deena Nicole Cortese
Deena Nicole Cortese‘s quote: "You should know about trashy, baby. You're from Staten Island!" | Image: AmoDays
Samantha Giancola AKA Sammi Sweetheart Quotes
"If you're not a Guido, then you can get the [expletive] outta my face." — Samantha Giancola
"Hot guys, come here! I'm single; dance with me!" — Samantha Giancola
"I like to be with my boyfriend at all times. Do you get that?" — Samantha Giancola
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"I definitely want to look good for Ronnie's parents because it's the first time they're meeting me. Like, I want them to think like, wow, that's her, she's really pretty, and whatever." — Samantha Giancola
Samantha Giancola ‘s quote: "Hot guys, come here! I'm single; dance with me!" | Image: AmoDays
"A guidette is somebody who knows how to club it up, takes really good care of themselves, has pretty hair, cakes on makeup, has tanned skin, wears the hottest heels, pretty much they know how to own it and rock it." — Samantha Giancola
"I don't have time for stupid bimbos." — Samantha Giancola
"A walking holiday? What does that mean? Are you gonna give out candy? Like I don't get it." — Samantha Giancola
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Nicole Polizzi AKA Snookie Quotes
"Where's the beach?" — Nicole Polizzi
"I'm not good with time. Like, if I ask you the time and you say A quarter to 2, I wouldn't know. Why can't you just say 2:30?" — Nicole Polizzi
Nicole Polizzi‘s quote: "Is there a moon in this country?"| Image: AmoDays
"Honestly, like, who hides in a bush? Only me." — Nicole Polizzi
"It's hard for people to see you one way, but you're really the other way, so it's kind of like, 'Who am I? Who are you?' Sometimes, I confuse even myself." — Nicole Polizzi
"Vin thinks he's a man now that he got his ears pierced." — Nicole Polizzi
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"Mike can be a nice guy, like, he shows his good side, then he shows his jerk-off side. That's what I like: a good guy and a jerk off, it's all the same." — Nicole Polizzi
"I had a feeling where I wanted to make out with somebody, so, umm, I just made out with Ryder because all the guys like that." — Nicole Polizzi
Nicole Polizzi‘s quote: "I don't go tanning anymore because Obama put a 10 percent tax on tanning. McCain would never put a 10 percent tax on tanning because he's pale and would probably want to be tan." | Image: AmoDays
"You have to remember that reality shows capture your worst moments." — Nicole Polizzi
"I feel like a pilgrim from the frickin '20s!!!" — Nicole Polizzi
"When you're tanner, you feel hotter and sexier. You should try it." — Nicole Polizzi
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"Is there a moon in this country?" — Nicole Polizzi
"I'm trying to build an empire because, after this, I cannot get a normal job." — Nicole Polizzi
Nicole Polizzi‘s quote: "You have to remember that reality shows capture your worst moments."| Image: AmoDays
"I don't go tanning anymore because Obama put a 10 percent tax on tanning. McCain would never put a 10 percent tax on tanning because he's pale and would probably want to be tan." — Nicole Polizzi
"Every time I meet a nice guy, he dies. It's the same with every pet, friend, or relative I've ever had. Everyone dies!" — Nicole Polizzi
"I don't eat friggin' lobster or anything like that because they're alive when you kill it." — Nicole Polizzi
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Jenni Farley AKA Jwoww Quotes
"I've been a nun — a Catholic nun." — Jenni Farley
"Tall, completely jacked steroids, like multiple growth hormones. That's, like, the type that I'm attracted to." —Jenni Farley
Jenni Farley's quote: "If you don't know me, then you hate me, and you wish you were me." | Image: AmoDays
"She looks like 'The Crow.'" — Jenni Farley
"You shouldn't have to change for any man; you find a man who will accept you." — Jenni Farley
"I don't follow trends. I set my own, and I go for the extreme." — Jenni Farley
"I have a bad habit of playing little emotional games with men. When they date me, it's cool in the beginning, we do our thing in the first month, and then I send them on a rollercoaster ride to hell." — Jenni Farley
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"Men may be from Mars and women from Venus, but I'm from the Jersey Shore." — Jenni Farley
Jenni Farley's quote: "She looks like 'The Crow.'" | Image: AmoDays
"If you don't know me, then you hate me, and you wish you were me." — Jenni Farley
Vinny Guadagnino, AKA Vinny G Quotes
"You never really see me acting a fool on TV." — Vinny Guadagnino
"Pure evidence of treachery I've just seen." — Vinny Guadagnino
"As my stomach feels like it's gonna explode, I don't stop eating. It makes me realize what a gluttonous piece of [expletive] I am." — Vinny Guadagnino
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Vinny Guadagnino’s quote: "Snooki's outfit is crazy. She looks like a birthday cake." | Image: AmoDays
"Oh my god, this girl at the club is beyond the word stalker. She is a parasite, and I am the host." — Vinny Guadagnino
"Saturday night, I'm going to Headliners. I'm looking to have more of a classy night tonight." — Vinny Guadagnino
"You look hot. You just took my breath away." — Vinny Guadagnino
"The toilet is clogged because I live with farm animals." — Vinny Guadagnino
"Snooki's outfit is crazy. She looks like a birthday cake." — Vinny Guadagnino
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Vinny Guadagnino's quote: "Oh my god, this girl at the club is beyond the word stalker. She is a parasite, and I am the host." | Image: AmoDays
While the MTV series was not generally met with a sense of respect, it became highly popular and, over its six seasons, managed to become the highest-rated show ever on the channel. "
Jersey Shore" also received 13 nominations and won three awards. It took home three Teen Choice Awards. In 2011 and 2012, DelVecchio took home a Teen Choice Award, and in 2011, the show came first in the reality television section.
If you prefer fictional shows over reality television, read these 47 "The Office" quotes from Prison Mike and his fellow jailbirds.
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