82 Dennis Reynolds Quotes – It's Always Sunny’s Hilariously Smug Guy

Dennis Reynolds' character in "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," although narcissistic and sociopathic, is often amusing. Here are some Dennis Reynolds quotes to relive his role in the iconic show, which is also America's longest-running live-action sitcom. Read these 82 quotes to know Dennis better.

Dennis Reynolds is a fan-favorite character from the sitcom "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," played by Glenn Howerton. Dennis, his friend Mac, his sister Dee, and his father Frank are together known as "The Gang," and they spend practically all of their time together.

Living in Philadelphia, Dennis co-owns Paddy's Pub and works as a bartender there. Now, just because Dennis has a job does not guarantee that he will work. He only lends a hand at the bar when it fits his schedule. However, when it comes to being perfect, Dennis only knows himself as the ideal example.

He is also a discriminating customer with costly tastes, so he only shops for expensive clothes. While he is single, he believes it is not his fault that he cannot find the right partner for himself. Here are 82 Dennis Reynolds quotes to remind you of how Dennis portrays himself as the "Golden God" and how far he can go.

Dennis Reynolds’ quote from "It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia": “I’m the King of the mountain top!” | Source: AmoDays

Dennis Reynolds Quotes Showing His Narcissistic Nature

"I am a five star man!" ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

"I'm the King of the mountain top!" ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

"I will come down on the hospital like the hammer of Thor. The thunder of my vengeance will echo through these corridors like the gust of a thousand winds!" ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

"Ladies and gentlemen, the D.E.N.N.I.S. System... is a comprehensive approach to seduction that I have perfected over the years. See, my success with women does not solely stem from my good looks and my charm. There is a careful, systemic approach... that has allowed me to become the playboy that I am today." ‒ Dennis Reynolds

Dennis Reynolds’ quote from "It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia": “All I have to do is to turn on my winning charm and fatty Magoo will be putty in my hands.” | Source: AmoDays

"I am demonstrating my value to her by filling a prescription, I told her it's for my grandmother, she is quite ill. Thus, demonstrating my value as a loving grandson and an all around great guy." ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

"All I have to do is to turn on my winning charm and fatty Magoo will be putty in my hands." ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

"Dennis: Diet? Does it look like I need to be on a diet?

Kid: I don't know

Dennis: Terrible, take a lap." ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

"Okay, well I'm not gonna take no for an answer, I just refuse to do that because I'm a winner." ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

Dennis Reynolds’ quote from "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia": “I do not like it with the skin, Dee. I’m not allowed to eat it with the skin. I’m not allowed!” | Source: AmoDays

"I'm the King of the Minions, not Tim Murphy" .‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

"Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Nothing with my lips, all right? I don't want to do that with you." – Dennis Reynolds

"Oh-ho-ho, you just couldn't stand it, could you? You couldn't stand Dennis Reynolds… reigning on high! King of all the school! Master of everybody! You couldn't stand it, so you had to turn everybody against me." – Dennis Reynolds

"I do not like it with the skin, Dee. I'm not allowed to eat it with the skin. I'm not allowed!" ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

Dennis Reynolds’ quote: “You know what, Dee? I don't wanna hear about your dreams. I hate listening to people's dreams. It is like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I'm not in any of them […] I just don't care.” | Source: AmoDays

"Dennis: You know what I'm concerned about? I don't want to get too bulky. I want to stay nice and lean and tight. I want to get that Jesus on the cross look.

Dee: I see what you're saying. I think that crucifixion must have been really good for your core.

Dennis: Oh absolutely. Jesus had like the best abs. He had the right idea. He knew no pain no gain." ‒ Dennis Reynolds

"Oh, what I want you to say? I don't know, Dennis Reynolds, your car is awesome, your flat screen TV, I took a look at it, it's very very thin, it speaks volumes about you as a person." ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

"You know what, Dee? I don't wanna hear about your dreams. I hate listening to people's dreams. It is like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I'm not in any of them […] I just don't care." ‒ Dennis Reynolds

"My nose was chiseled by the God's themselves Frank. My body was sculpted to the proportions of Michelangelo's David." ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

Dennis Reynolds’ quote: “God dammit Dee! Your back is so boney and crooked and all over the place I can't get a flat surface!” | Source: AmoDays

"Look at me while you're talking to me!" ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

"I'm always wearing a little bit of foundation but that's not the point." – Dennis Reynolds

Dennis Reynolds Quotes Full of Rage or Humor

"I have contained my rage for as long as possible, but I shall unleash my fury upon you like the crashing of a thousand waves." ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

"God dammit Dee! Your back is so boney and crooked and all over the place I can't get a flat surface!" ‒ Dennis Reynolds

"I don't even know what he's talking about half the time, bro." – Dennis Reynolds

Dennis Reynolds’ quote from "It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia": “Tools! Tools! Duct tape, zip ties and gloves! I have to have my tools!” | Source: AmoDays

"Do not try to swim to Europe." – Dennis Reynolds

"Dennis: Starter car?

Customer: That's right.

Dennis: I've contained my rage for as long as poissible, but I shall unleashe my fury upon you like the crushing of a thousand waves! Be gone, vile man!, Be gone from me! A sarter car! This car is a finisher car! A transporter of gods! The Golden God! I am unteathered and my rage knows no bounds!" ‒ Dennis Reynolds

"Tools! Tools! Duct tape, zip ties and gloves! I have to have my tools!" ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

"Describe the ways in which you find him attractive." – Dennis Reynolds

"If you say another word I swear to god I will dice you into a million little pieces. And, put those pieces in a box. A glass box, that I'll display." ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

Dennis Reynolds’ quote: “Less happy. Why would it make me happy?” | Source: AmoDays

"Less happy. Why would it make me happy?" – Dennis Reynolds

"You're a sad, pathetic, wretch of a man so desperate to be in love that you'll go riffling through somebody's garbage. And, there is nothing, nothing more unattractive than desperation." ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

"Well, if I've learned anything from films like 'Executive Decision' or 'Passenger 57', there's always a way into the cargo hold." ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

"Mac: Of course we're mistaken, of course we are.

Dennis : We wouldn't want to implicate certain people in certain matters. Noooo sir." ‒ "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

"So, all for thinner limes, raise your hands. And all for thicker limes, raise your hands. Now, there you go. That's a democracy in action. That's two votes against two votes. A perfect example of when democracy has failed." ‒ Dennis Reynolds

Quote from "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia": “Dennis :No. The gang is me, Mac and Charlie. Frank : Dennis, let your sister be in the gang.” | Source: AmoDays

"See, you've all been trying to convince the IRS that Dee's baby is alive. What you really need to be doing is convincing the IRS that Dee's baby is dead." ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

"Dennis :No. The gang is me, Mac and Charlie.

Frank : Dennis, let your sister be in the gang." ‒ "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

"Look, this is about much more than just business, this is about the thrill of wearing another man's skin, feeling his innermost wants and desires and being in control of his every single move." ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

"Dennis: You look fat [...] I'm getting very concerned with the integrity of our organization here. Mac, you have gained 50 pounds of fat.

Mac: Mass.

Dennis: Fat.

Mac: Muscle.

Dennis: Let's be clear. Fat." ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

Dennis Reynolds’ quote: “Work first. And then you can do your weird inflatable tube man P. Diddy dance.” | Source: AmoDays

"Charlie: Ohhhhhhhh shit! Look at that door, dude. See that door there? The one marked 'Pirate?' You think a pirate lives in there?

Dennis: I see a door marked 'Private.' Is that the door you're talking about?"— Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"

"Work first. And then you can do your weird inflatable tube man P. Diddy dance." – Dennis Reynolds

"Dennis: Okay you want me to read the script?

Charlie: Yes. And action.

Dennis: I'll read the words you wrote. 'Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you. Thank you." ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

Dennis Reynolds’ quote: “Without the sunglasses, Weekend at Bernie's would have been a very dark, strange tale.” | Source: AmoDays

"Dee: A whole bunch of tickets to The Jay Leno Show.

Dennis: Who cares?

Dee: No. Listen to me. Who wants to see Jay Leno 15, 16 times?

Dennis: No one. No one wants to see him once" ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

"Without the sunglasses, Weekend at Bernie's would have been a very dark, strange tale." ‒ Dennis Reynolds

Dennis Reynolds’ quote: “...I'm wearing women's underwear!” | Source: AmoDays

Dennis Reynolds Quotes Revealing His Character

"...I'm wearing women's underwear!" ‒ Dennis Reynolds

"People already don't know who we are!" – Dennis Reynolds

"C'mon, dude, stop! This is making me really uncomfortable. ‒ "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

"These guys are more barnacle covered and sunburnt than Dee and Frank." – Dennis Reynolds

"Dee: I am not a failure!

Mac: Dennis, what is it that you call it when somebody tries to do something but doesn't succeed?

Dennis: Uh, that would in fact be a failure." ‒ Dennis Reynolds

Dennis Reynolds’ quote: “I think you might be dyslexic bro.” | Source: AmoDays

"Oh, oh, the gun…yeah, we're getting rid of the gun." – Dennis Reynolds

"It was not worth a try." – Dennis Reynolds

"Charlie, let's join forces." – Dennis Reynolds

"It's interesting our thing isn't it, like, to be in someone's mind to have complete control it's like the thrill of being near the executioner's switch knowing that at any moment you could throw it but knowing you never will." ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

"Our mortgage is due in two weeks." – Dennis Reynolds

"I wouldn't even necessarily classify it.." – Dennis Reynolds

Dennis Reynolds’ quote: “Oh my God, Charlie, I shot you in your head! I am so sorry!” | Source: AmoDays

"I think you might be dyslexic bro." – Dennis Reynolds

"Charlie: Look, the girl, she wears a Lance Armstrong bracelet, okay? So I tell you I have cancer, right? Then you're gonna tell her, she's going to feel sorry for me, we're going to start dating, and that's the way the lie works!

Dennis: That's a terrible thing to do!

Charlie: Well, I'm a bad guy then!

Dennis: You are a bad guy! You lied to us!

Charlie: All right look at this, sometimes you've got to crack a few eggs to make an omelet.

Dennis: You've got to crack a couple eggs to make an omelet?

Charlie: Yeah, you gotta crack an egg.

Dennis: So you're throwing down life lessons now?

Charlie: I'm throwing down eggs!

Dennis: Class is in session, the teacher's teaching class now!

Charlie: I'm cracking eggs of wisdom!" ‒ Dennis Reynolds

"Kicked me out." – Dennis Reynolds

"Oh my God, Charlie, I shot you in your head! I am so sorry!" ‒ Dennis Reynolds

"How do you know that the two trannies are lawyers?" – Dennis Reynolds

Dennis Reynolds’ quote from "It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia": “D: Demonstrate Value E: Engage Physically N: Nurture Dependence N: Neglect Emotionally I: Inspire Hope S: Separate Entirely.” | Source: AmoDays

"Dennis: The whole purpose of buying the boat in the first place was to get the ladies nice and tipsy top side, so we can take them to a nice comfortable place below deck, and you know, they can't refuse...because of the implication.

Mac: Okay you had me goin' there for the first half. The second half kinda threw me.

Dennis: Well dude, think about it. She's out in the middle of nowhere, with some dude she barely knows. She looks around and what does she see? Nothing but open ocean. 'Ah there's nowhere for me to run! What am I gonna do, say no?'

Mac: Okay. That seems really dark." ‒ Dennis Reynolds

"I don't really have any convictions" ‒ Dennis Reynolds

"Class is in session, the teacher's teaching class now!" – Dennis Reynolds

Dennis Reynolds’ quote: “I don't really have any convictions.” | Source: AmoDays

"D: Demonstrate Value

E: Engage Physically

N: Nurture Dependence

N: Neglect Emotionally

I: Inspire Hope

S: Separate Entirely." ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

"Oh, so many, dude, like hundreds of millions." – Dennis Reynolds

"Look we need to talk to Green Man for a minute please." – Dennis Reynolds

"Green Man, I knew you couldn't resist." – Dennis Reynolds

Dennis Reynolds’ quote: “A replacement for the tragic loss of New Orleans.” | Source: AmoDays

"Yeah, I wanted to seem thin for the occasion. That's not weird." – Dennis Reynolds

"Charlie: No, no, no. That's not good trap. I'm done with rat detail. That's by far the worst job in the bar.

Dennis: That's why we call it Charlie Work" — Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"

"Charlie: We have to blow the sign off of the building-- you know, maybe I'll do the blowing, that's fine.

Dennis: Charlie, Charlie, stop, stop, stop, stop. Do you think a human being can blow a sign off of a building?

Charlie: I didn't until Mac said it.

Mac: I never said that.

Dennis: A man cannot blow a sign off of a building.

Mac: In Charlie's defense, you could loosen the screws, get up there and blow...

Dennis: We are talking about the Internet.You are derailing the conversation." ‒ Dennis Reynolds

Dennis Reynolds’ quote: “Yeah, I wanted to seem thin for the occasion. That’s not weird.” | Source: AmoDays

"Yeah, well, we won't get got though. We gonna get. See, Dee, people like us, we don't get got. We go get. You won;t see us getting scammed. No Way." ‒ Dennis Reynolds

"Oh, man. You know what? Go to the beginning. Go to the first smell! The first smell that begat all the other smells!" – Dennis Reynolds

"Emotional release, another giant step forward." – Dennis Reynolds

"Dennis: No, I'm not going to talk in a southern accent. It's bad enough that you wore this stupid 'disguise.'

Charlie: But we're oil men! We would have southern accents.

Dennis: Yeah, but we don't need bolo ties and stupid hats" ‒ Dennis Reynolds

Dennis Reynolds’ quote: “Emotional release, another giant step forward.” | Source: AmoDays

"Dennis : Are you sure you don't want a doctor to do this?

Charlie : I'm a billionaire all of a sudden? Pull the crowbar, Dennis." ‒ "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

"Here we are in a boat, out in the middle of nowhere, nobody would ever hear our screams in this wind." ‒ Dennis Reynolds, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

"Yeah they are. Our lives definitely are without a doubt." – Dennis Reynolds

Dennis Reynolds’ quote: “Yeah they are. Our lives definitely are without a doubt.” | Source: AmoDays

Portraying his narcissism and conceit and his 'high' sex appeal among women who, according to Dennis, are the ones 'making moves on him,' the show's followers are aware of the strange, self-absorbed man Dennis is. He never takes 'no' for an answer.

Dennis is preoccupied with how others perceive him, but he lacks self-awareness. However, suppose Dennis realizes how mistaken he is in thinking the world admires him. In that case, we'd miss out on all the fun that makes "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" such a fantastic sitcom.

Fans can never forget Dennis for the narcissistic and selfish man he is. He believes everyone is interested in him, even though he spends all his time with "The Gang." Dennis, how can we get to know you if you don't interact with anyone? Read about another compelling character in Lara Croft's quotes.

Wait, are you also wondering where your favorite stars at? You can read about the Danny DeVito of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" here. More about the sitcom's actress Kaitlin Olson here.