46 Crazy Ex GF Quotes: Mental Health & Musical Numbers

"Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" is a hilarious dark comedy musical that's name gives many viewers the wrong impression. The term is used as satire as commentary on the serious mental health issues and feminism that abound in the show. Read these 46 quotes to find out more.

"Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" is about a 20-something successful lawyer Rebecca, who moves out of New York City after she runs into her summer camp "boyfriend" Josh, from high school. In her mind, he is the love of her life, and she is ready to do anything to be with him. He, however, has no idea that she is moving to his hometown.

Upon arriving in West Covina, Rebecca befriends her coworker Paula who eventually becomes her sidekick in trying to break up Josh and his girlfriend so Rebecca can have a chance.

What begins as a trope of a crazy ex-girlfriend soon turns into a satirical, dark, and yet still hilarious musical commentary focused on mental health, feminism, society, race, LGBTQ+, and more. Read 46 quotes from all the endearing characters below.

Rebecca, with her quote:“Oh good, an abstract theatrical space, now I can actually think…” | Source: facebook.com/crazyxgf

Rebecca’s Quotes

"Okay, let's just put it out there, I've retired from stalking, but you never lose the skills." — Rebecca

"Well, if it isn't Mr. 'I can't come to your party, because I have a bunch of complicated reasons. I prob'ly have to buy more black clothing, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.'" — Rebecca

"God, pep talks into a mirror do nothing but enhance the loneliness." — Rebecca

"Wow…the middle-aged ladies really like Greg." — Rebecca

“Oh good, an abstract theatrical space, now I can actually think…” — Rebecca

Rebecca’s mother Naomi, with Rebecca’s quote: “Dear God, I don’t pray to you because I believe in science. But I don’t know what to do.” |Source: facebook.com/crazyxgf

"Maybe we could be the best versions of ourselves if we are together." — Rebecca

"Well, I do now." — Rebecca

“This is a song I wrote.” — Rebecca

"Yeah, but it's such a great place. I mean, the motto is 'Live, Work, Play.'" — Rebecca

“Dear God, I don’t pray to you because I believe in science. But I don’t know what to do.” — Rebecca

Darryl and other characters with Heather’s quote: “It's a script dictated to you by our society's patriarchal love narrative.” |Source: facebook.com/crazyxgf

"I love every person in this room." — Rebecca

Paula’s Quotes

“My marriage is like ‘The Walking Dead,’ okay, we are all just trying to get out alive.” — Paula

"Let me tell you how this works—women of equal sexual viability hate each other, even if they pretend to like each other. And that is how it has worked since the day vaginas were invented." — Paula

“Oh, he's a terrible person! He is a terrible, terrible...dreamboat. Like, it's weird how good looking he is. Right? It's like he's chiseled out of evil marble.” — Paula

Rebecca and Greg, with Paula’s quote: “My marriage is like ‘The Walking Dead,’ okay, we are all just trying to get out alive.” |Source: facebook.com/crazyxgf

"Maybe this dream won’t poop on my face like a seagull at the beach." — Paula

“It's what my father always told me, that if I ever tried to make something of myself, that no man would want me." — Paula

Josh’s Quotes

“I know it's not cool to believe in God and stuff, but I do.” — Josh

"I'm going to need you to stand down." — Josh

Rebecca and coworkers, with Josh’s quote :“I know it's not cool to believe in God and stuff, but I do.” |Source: facebook.com/crazyxgf

"He had sex with a bush." — Josh

"Sorry I’m late, someone asked me to change the water cooler on the way in." — Josh

Greg’s Quotes

"Wait, so you left a job in New York to live near the beach? We're four hours from the beach—people say two, but those people are dumb." — Greg

"That's a long name I have. Polish?” — Greg

"We have a motto?” — Greg

Dr. Akopian and Rebecca, with Greg’s quote : “You're the love of my life. You know that, right?” |Source: facebook.com/crazyxgf

"In my defense, it looked like a lady." — Greg

"We can’t undo, can’t make amends. Dysfunction is our lingua franca. We can’t unscrew each other’s friends—we’re Jerry Springer not Casablanca. There’s hard-to-get, then there’s neglect—to say it’s fate, you’d have to be a bit slow! Not to be crass, but this sucks [expletive]. This was a [expletive] show." — Greg

“You're the love of my life. You know that, right?” — Greg

Nathaniel’s Quotes

"Literally, what do you mean?" — Nathaniel

Rebecca and another character with Nathaniel’s quote : “I also hope Greg dies.” |Source: facebook.com/crazyxgf

"God, I hope I win, though." — Nathaniel

“I also hope Greg dies.” — Nathaniel

More ‘Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’ Quotes

“It's a script dictated to you by our society's patriarchal love narrative.” — Heather

"It’s not a phase. I’m not confused. Not indecisive. I don’t have the gotta choose blues. I don’t care if you wear high heels or a tie; you might just catch my eye because I’m definitely bi." — Darryl

Rebecca, with Darryl’s quote : “I, Darryl Whitefeather, I like both sexes. I'm a bothsexual!” |Source: facebook.com/crazyxgf

“I've never seen you as happy as when you are with Rebecca.” — White Josh

“Wait, I can propose?!” — Valencia

“I, Darryl Whitefeather, I like both sexes. I'm a bothsexual!” — Darryl

"Thelma and Louise drove off a cliff, so be careful!” — Heather

"I'm asking you nicely to get out of my kitchen! This is how customers get meningitis." — AJ

Rebecca, with White Josh’s quote: “I've never seen you as happy as when you are with Rebecca.” |Source: facebook.com/crazyxgf

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"I love being the chosen custodian of your dream." — AJ

“Whatever you want to say to me, you can say to me, my mom, and our 343 subscribers.” — Hector

Rebecca and two other character’s with Valencia’s quote: “Wait, I can propose?!” | Source: facebook.com/crazyxgf

"Do you still make those candy cane mochas? I know the holidays are almost over, but what the hell; I want to treat myself." — Dr. Akopian

"There’s nothing sexy about depression, Rebecca. Listen, you better get your act together, young lady, or you’re gonna run this new life off in a ditch." — Dr. Phil

"I love pretzels; they are a funky treat for teens." — Tucker

Greg and Rebecca with Hector’s quote: “Whatever you want to say to me, you can say to me, my mom, and our 343 subscribers.” | Source: facebook.com/crazyxgf

Eventually, Rebecca is diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, and she can begin becoming a better person for herself and others and learn to love herself again.

The show also does a great job of destigmatizing a disorder with many negative connotations attached to it, all while entertaining audiences with its catchy musical numbers.

The show also included many guest stars, such as B.J. Novak, Dr. Phil, Patti LuPone, Brittany Snow, Seth Green, and Josh Groban.

To find out more about another series that tackles challenging topics yet keeps the laughs coming, read these 41 Atlanta quotes.