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Beau Bennett with his quote: “The only time I’m not miserable is when I’m alone.” | Source: facebook.com/TheRanchNetflix
Beau Bennett with his quote: “The only time I’m not miserable is when I’m alone.” | Source: facebook.com/TheRanchNetflix

27 Beau Bennett Quotes: Sage Wisdom and Hilarious One-Liners from the Ranch

Dayna Remus
May 12, 2023
08:00 A.M.
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Life on the ranch ain't always easy, but the elderly Beau Bennett makes it look damn good with his gruff demeanor and razor-sharp wit. Read 27 of his quotes below.

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Beau Bennett is one of the most beloved characters from the Netflix comedy series "The Ranch." Played by actor Sam Elliott, Beau is a gruff and sometimes intimidating rancher with a soft spot for his family and a dry wit that keeps audiences laughing.

But beyond his tough exterior, Beau has a wisdom that can only come from a lifetime of hard work and experience. In this article, we've compiled 27 of Beau's most memorable and insightful quotes from the show. Whether you're a fan of "The Ranch" or just appreciate a good dose of wisdom, you're sure to find something inspiring in these words from Beau Bennett.

Beau Bennett and his sons, with his quote: “Why can’t you just be like a normal wife and not care if I live or die.” | Source: facebook.com/TheRanchNetflix

Beau Bennett and his sons, with his quote: “Why can’t you just be like a normal wife and not care if I live or die.” | Source: facebook.com/TheRanchNetflix

Sarcastic & Funny Beau Bennett Quotes

“The only thing I want riding shotgun with me is my shotgun.” — Beau Bennett

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“The only time I’m not miserable is when I’m alone.” — Beau Bennett

"I am not drunk I am festive. It’s [expletive] Christmas.” — Beau Bennett

"Are you saying the steak needs improvement?" — Beau Bennett

“Why can’t you just be like a normal wife and not care if I live or die.” — Beau Bennett

Beau Bennett Quotes on His Viewpoints

I hate cell phones. I liked it better when you needed to get a hold of someone you just shot up a flare.” | Source:facebook.com/TheRanchNetflix Beau Bennett, with his quote:

I hate cell phones. I liked it better when you needed to get a hold of someone you just shot up a flare.” | Source:facebook.com/TheRanchNetflix Beau Bennett, with his quote:

“I hate cell phones. I liked it better when you needed to get a hold of someone you just shot up a flare.” — Beau Bennett

“When you really want to help someone, you don’t offer; you just do it.” — Beau Bennett

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“Global warming was invented by Al Gore to sell books.” — Beau Bennett

Beau Bennett Quotes That Are Grumpy, Angry and Rude

“The only time I’m not miserable is when I’m alone.” — Beau Bennett

“You’re incapable of thinking.” — Beau Bennett

Beau Bennett and one of his sons, with his quote: “Global warming was invented by Al Gore to sell books.” | Source: facebook.com/TheRanchNetflix

Beau Bennett and one of his sons, with his quote: “Global warming was invented by Al Gore to sell books.” | Source: facebook.com/TheRanchNetflix

"My last days on the ranch; I didn't want to ruin it spending it with people." — Beau Bennett

“Short answer is I don't care about your opinions and the long answer I don't give a [expletive] about your opinons." — Beau Bennett

"I hate you." — Beau Bennett

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"Are you [expletive] kidding me?" — Beau Bennett

"You know, when I was your age, you broke a tool; you had to craft a new one with your own bare hands.” — Beau Bennett

Beau Bennett and one of his sons, with his quote:“You’re incapable of thinking.” | Source: facebook.com/TheRanchNetflix

Beau Bennett and one of his sons, with his quote:“You’re incapable of thinking.” | Source: facebook.com/TheRanchNetflix

“My house keys…I didn’t think it was possible to get a worse gift.” — Beau Bennett

"I worked this ranch my whole life and I'm gone for two days, and you bring it to its [expletive] knees." — Beau Bennett

"What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were up in Canada playing amateur's football." — Beau Bennett

“Rooster, you home?” — Beau Bennett

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"You picked a fight with the man who was responsible for giving us a loan." — Beau Bennett

Beau Bennett and his wife, with his quote: “Short answer is I don't care about your opinions.” | Source: facebook.com/TheRanchNetflix

Beau Bennett and his wife, with his quote: “Short answer is I don't care about your opinions.” | Source: facebook.com/TheRanchNetflix

"If you bought a Ferrari, would you get an automatic?" — Beau Bennett

"You start doing that, I'll ask for your opinion. You two wanna be shown respect; start growing up. Act like men." — Beau Bennett

"What the [expletive] Cole?" — Beau Bennett

Beau Bennett and his two sons, with his quote: “My house keys…I didn’t think it was possible to get a worse gift.” | Source: facebook.com/TheRanchNetflix

Beau Bennett and his two sons, with his quote: “My house keys…I didn’t think it was possible to get a worse gift.” | Source: facebook.com/TheRanchNetflix

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"I love you, son." — Beau Bennett

"I'm doing this while I still have a choice. We've got plenty of propane running the generator for the essentials 'til we get the cows to the market. That will save us a couple...a month.:" — Beau Bennett

“A dog don’t moo, and a man don’t tweet” — Beau Bennett

Beau Bennett with his quote: “Rooster, you home?”  |Source: facebook.com/TheRanchNetflix

Beau Bennett with his quote: “Rooster, you home?” |Source: facebook.com/TheRanchNetflix

Beau Bennet may be a fictional character, but his words of wisdom have resonated with fans of "The Ranch" around the world. Whether he's doling out tough love to his son, cold, or dispensing sage advice to his fellow ranch hands, Beau's quotes are full of insight, humor, and heart.

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In this article, we've highlighted just a few of Beau's most memorable lines, but there are plenty more where those came from. So the next time you're in need of a little guidance or just a good laugh, remember the words of Beau Bennett. They may come from a TV show, but their wisdom is as real as it gets.

The actor who embodies this spirited elderly man is played by Sam Elliot, alongside his two sons, who are played by Ashton Kutcher and Danny Masterson.

Read these 83 Squidward quotes to get to know another grumpy but loveable character.

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