37 Quotes From 'Ted' that Perfectly Nail the Ultimate Bromance

When it comes to wild adventures and bromantic banter, it's hard not to think of Ted and John Bennett, the dynamic duo from the comedy film "Ted." Delve into the zany world of this eccentric pair through a collection of quotes from the movie "Ted."

"Ted" is a comedic masterpiece from 2012 that chronicles the extraordinary friendship between John Bennett and his talkative plush companion, Ted. They go on a series of exciting and naughty escapades, forging a bond that defies the norms of teddy bear-human relationships.

In the realm of grown-up dilemmas, their friendship encounters its fair share of hurdles yet emerges victorious. Through thick and thin, they provide unwavering support to one another, imparting valuable lessons on responsibility and the enduring strength of genuine camaraderie.

Despite Ted's uncensored antics, their connection remains unbreakable, proving that true friendships can weather any storm, even in the face of the most absurd circumstances. Enjoy their captivating quotes below.

Lori's quote: "Is that my ringtone? What is that? Cause it sounds really negative." | Source: facebook.com/tedisreal

Funny and Unforgettable Quotes from 'Ted'

"Hello, 911? I need the police right away! This guy took my Teddy bear! Hello?" — John Bennett

"Nothing is as powerful as a young boy's wish... Except for an Apache helicopter." — The Narrator

"That dude from your office is on the couch, making out with that Van Wilder-looking Guy." — Ted

"Oh, come on, I do not sound that much like Peter Griffin!" — Ted

Ted's quote: "You can sing any 90's song with just vowels." | Source: facebook.com/tedisreal

"Oh look, Johnny, if we're ever gonna get serious about openin' a restaurant, we gotta start plannin' it now." — Ted

"This place is a wreck! Who are these girls?" — Lori

"Who lives here? I'm comin' to get who lives here! You owe me lobster money!" — John Bennett

John and Ted: Hilarious Quotes and Banter Reflecting Their Bromance

"Chris Brown can do no wrong!" — John Bennett

The Narrator's quote: "Nothing is as powerful as a young boy's wish... Except for an Apache helicopter." | Source: facebook.com/tedisreal

"Um, hiya. My name is John Bennett, and this is for Lori Collins, 'cause I love you. You know, this song reminds me of the most important night in my life... the night we met." — John Bennett

"Rex, I gotta go. Look, I'll be back in like 30 minutes, tops, okay? But Lori cannot find out. She absolutely cannot know I was gone..." — John Bennett

"I think back to that Christmas morning and I wish I'd just gotten a Teddy Ruxpin." — John Bennett

"John, Flash Gordon was the most important figure of our formative years. He taught us right from wrong, good from evil. And that the word 'acting' apparently has an extremely broad definition. Flash Gordon is the symbol of our friendship, John. Come share this with me." — Ted

Ted's quote: "Maybe 'no' to a Snickers bar every once in a while wouldn't hurt." | Source: facebook.com/tedisreal

"Ted: You remember I said my buddy's cousin is friends with Sam Jones? My buddy's in town with his cousin. And who do you think is with him? Sam Jones. Sam Jones is here. And John, his hair is parted down the middle.

John: Just like in the movie.

Ted: Yes. Get over here, right now.

John: [Whispers] I can't! I'm with Lori here. I'm already on probation. I just... I can't." — "Ted"

"Look, the point is you're blaming me for something that you did to yourself." — Ted

"You can't stand there and say you haven't always seen Lori as a threat to our friendship!" — John Bennett

"Lori was right about you: you *cannot* take responsibility for anything that goes on in your life." — Ted

John Bennett's quote: "Hello, 911? I need the police right away! This guy took my Teddy bear! Hello?" | Source: facebook.com/tedisreal

"See, the fact that you have to say 'they're not that bad' means that they are that bad." — Ted to John

"John: Ted!

Ted: I'm alive, Johnny!

John: Oh, my God!

Ted: I'm alive. Your magical wish worked!" — "Ted"

"Ted: Listen. You got to let me help you make things right with you and Lori.

John: There's no putting things right. She hates me.

Ted: No, John. We can... We can get her back. Look, you remember when you were 10, and you hit that squirrel with your BB gun? And then when we saw it fall from the tree, we both started crying, you remember? And then we ran up to it and we tried to give it CPR, and it came back to life. John, we could do that again.

John: Ted, we crushed its ribcage and blew out its lungs trying to give it CPR. It died." — "Ted"

"You can sing any 90's song with just vowels." — Ted

John Bennett's quote: "I think back to that Christmas morning and I wish I'd just gotten a Teddy Ruxpin." | Source: facebook.com/tedisreal

"Maybe 'no' to a Snickers bar every once in a while wouldn't hurt." — Ted

"...Look, look, Lori, you want him to be a man... Alright? But, as long as he's got his teddy bear... he's always gonna be a boy... He's waitin' down at Charlie's right now. So, if you go down there, and just talk to him... I'll be gone when you get back... forever. And... you'll see... He'll never be scared of thunder again." — Ted

More Memorable Quotes from the World of 'Ted'

"I don't - I don't understand. I really don't. You're 35 years old, and you're still scared of a little thunder?" — Lori to John

"Okay, here's a test to see how much you actually care about me. You remember that night after the club, we went and had late-night eggs and waffles until about 5 a.m. We watched a movie on a little TV at the diner. Name that movie?" — Lori

John Bennett's quote: "You can't stand there and say you haven't always seen Lori as a threat to our friendship!" | Source: facebook.com/tedisreal

"You know Ted, when I was a little boy, I saw you on television. And I thought you were the most amazing, most wonderful thing I'd ever seen, ever. And I asked my dad if I could have a magically little teddy bear, too. And he said, 'No.'" — Donnie

"Robert: Me and Ted are going to be best friends, Daddy.

Donny: Yes, you are, my little chipmunk. Happy playtime.

Ted: Jesus *expletive* Christ!

Robert: I said a bad word one time. Daddy punished me for it

Robert: Daddy gave me an ouch. Now, I have to give you an ouch." [tears Ted's ear off] — "Ted"

Ted's quote: "Look, the point is you're blaming me for something that you did to yourself." | Source: facebook.com/tedisreal

"I have to say, I've been following you ever since I was a young boy and, uh... I remember seeing you on the Carson Show and... you were just wonderful." — Donnie

"Ted, that's a really nice offer, but I don't want you to do that... This is between John and me, and... I don't think it can be fixed..." — Lori

Lori's quote to John: "I don't - I don't understand. I really don't. You're 35 years old, and you're still scared of a little thunder?" | Source: facebook.com/tedisreal

"Is that my ringtone? What is that? Cause it sounds really negative." — Lori

"Well, uh, let me, uh, let me get to clear the air a little. I mean, yeah, I'm kind of a fun time boss and whatnot. But look, man, I do that with everyone at the office... I have no desires on your girlfriend. We work together, and that's it. You know, I think you're a great guy, and she's a very lucky girl." — Rex

Ted's quote: "Oh, come on, I do not sound that much like Peter Griffin!" | Source: facebook.com/tedisreal

Considering the lessons from "Ted," we learn that embracing our uniqueness, forming strong bonds, and being responsible as we grow is essential. The movie also highlights the power of love and accepting our flaws.

With its blend of comedy and heartfelt scenes, "Ted" encourages us to find our own interpretations. The film features talented actors including Mark Wahlberg, who played Ted, Seth MacFarlane as Ted's voice, and Mila Kunis as Lori.

Some people find friendship in unexpected places. Just like Ted and John, Pikachu and Ash Ketchum have a special bond, too. Check out these quotes from Pikachu that capture his incredible adventures with his best pal.