28 'Pink Panther' Quotes to Trace Inspector Clouseau's Adventures

Inspector Jacques Clouseau, wonderfully portrayed by legendary actor Steve Martin, stars in "The Pink Panther" movies, taking viewers along on his comical adventures. Although a bit lacking as a detective, he possesses several significant characteristics that make him a well-loved character.

Several crimes plague Europe, but those Inspector Jacques Clouseau handles are the funniest. In "The Pink Panther," Hollywood's most famous detective attempts to solve different crimes while displaying his comical side. However, his most known case was to solve the missing diamond.

Clouseau has several gaps as a detective, resulting in disastrous yet comedic scenes. He also utters several quotes known amongst avid movie watchers. Despite his challenges, Clouseau has an unwavering determination. He never gives up and tries to do right by his profession.

Several versions of the film were released in different decades, with "The Pink Panther" (2006) as a reboot. The movie featured Steve Martin portraying Clouseau as he investigates the murder of a famous soccer coach and the theft of the Pink Panther diamond.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau's quote: "I had been nominated for the Medal of Honor. I have been so nominated seven times. I have never won. Still, seven times, that is something." | Source: Youtube.com/sonypictures

'Pink Panther' Quotes from Hilarious Situations

"A woman is like an artichoke; you must work hard to get to her heart." – Inspector Jacques Clouseau, “The Pink Panther”

"Nigel Boswell/Agent 006: Boswell. Nigel Boswell. 006. You know what that means?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Of course! It means you are one away from the big time." – “The Pink Panther”

"[about Glaunt] It's amazing how he fell perfectly into the drawing on the floor." – Inspector Jacques Clouseau, “The Pink Panther”

"Bizu: It's an idiom!

Clouseau: You, sir, are the idiom.” – “The Pink Panther”

"I had been nominated for the Medal of Honor. I have been so nominated seven times. I have never won. Still, seven times, that is something." – Inspector Jacques Clouseau, “The Pink Panther”

Inspector Jacques Clouseau's quote: "Clouseau: The good-cop/bad-coproutine is working perfectly. ; Ponton: You know, usually two different cops do that.” | Source: Youtube.com/sonypictures

"Ponton: You never cease to surprise me, sir.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: It's true. My surprises, they are rarely unexpected." – “The Pink Panther”

"Inspector Jacques Clouseau: What? What did you say?

Ponton: Nothing.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You mean, you didn't just say: Stop the car, dear God, I beg of you, stop the car?" – "The Pink Panther”

"Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Do not leave Europe!

Yuri: But we have matches in Asia.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: All right. Do not leave Europe or Asia!

Yuri: And we also have a match in Brazil.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Do not leave Europe, Asia, or the Americas!" – “The Pink Panther”

'Pink Panther' Quotes That Shed Light on Detective Work

"Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Is there anyone with you?

Yuri: No.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Do you have a pair of high heels in that bag?

Yuri: No.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Not even a small pair of pumps?

Yuri: No.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Who are you?

Yuri: I am Yuri, the trainer.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: And what is it you do here, Yuri, the trainer?

Yuri: I train.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: So you are Yuri, the trainer who trains." – “The Pink Panther”

Inspector Jacques Clouseau's quote: "Dreyfus: Understand something Clouseau. When I made you an inspector, it was not because I thought you had any value as a detective. It was because I thought you were the stupidest policeman in all of..." | Source: Youtube.com/sonypictures

"French journalist: Inspector, do you know if the killer was a man or woman?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well, of course, I know that! What else is there? A kitten? " – “The Pink Panther”

"Nicole Durant: Would you like me to stay behind and help you?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: That is a generous offer, Nicole. But I am quite sensitive to office gender politics. And in today's world, the slightest gesture can be misinterpreted as harassment. And it is late, and I would prefer not to put you or me into that delicate situation. Agreed?

Nicole Durant: Yes, I agree.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well, let's seal it with a kiss. And I'll get back to work." – “The Pink Panther”

"Female Reporter: Inspector!

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Yes.

Female Reporter: Yes, what is your initial premise?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: That Gluant did not want to be killed. Everything else follows like liquid mercury flowing down a - a - a sloping thing.

Female Reporter: How long do you think it will take to find the killer?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Right now, the killer is being surrounded by a web of deduction, forensic science, and the latest in technology, such as two-way radios and e-mail." – “The Pink Panther”

"Dreyfus: Understand something, Clouseau. When I made you an inspector, it was not because I thought you had any value as a detective. It was because I thought you were the stupidest policeman in all of France, a hopeless, deluded idi*t.

Clouseau: Then I was not promoted for my merits?" – “The Pink Panther”

"Ponton: He was just found dead in a training facility locker room. Shot in the head.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Was it fatal?

Ponton: Yes.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: How fatal?

Ponton: Um, completely.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I want to talk to him now!" – “The Pink Panther”

Inspector Jacques Clouseau's quote: “Politics. Where greed wears the mask of morality.” | Source: Youtube.com/sonypictures

"Inspector Jacques Clouseau: The day before the murder, you were seen hitting the victim and saying... what?

Ponton: 'I am going to kill you, I am going to kill you.'" – “The Pink Panther”

"Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I'll be honest with you. I… I find your accent quite funny. Where are you from?

Yuri: From Russia. Gluant recruited me from the Russian military gym.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [mocking him] 'do-do-do-ba-ba-lo'...You need to work on your accent." – “The Pink Panther”

'Pink Panther' Quotes to Finalize the Psychological Portrait of Inspector Jacques Clouseau

"My miracle pill for the middle-aged man!" – Inspector Jacques Clouseau, “The Pink Panther”

"Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a hamburger.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a 'damburgen.'

Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a ham-bur-ger.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a 'damburgen.'

Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a hamburger!

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a 'damburgen!'" – “The Pink Panther”

"Politics. Where greed wears the mask of morality." – Inspector Jacques Clouseau, “The Pink Panther”

Inspector Jacques Clouseau's quote: “Oh well, if you’ve seen one Stradivarius, you’ve seen them all.” | Source: Youtube.com/sonypictures

"Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Does your dog bite?

Innkeeper: No.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Nice doggy. I thought you said your dog did not bite!

Innkeeper: That is not my dog!" – “The Pink Panther”

"Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Without warning, I will attack you. In this way, I will keep you vigilant and alert.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Good one.

Ponton: Thank you." – “The Pink Panther”

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Yes, I do.

Nicole: Do you ever get lonely?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: No. Not since the Internet." – “The Pink Panther”

"Clouseau: Tell me about her.

Ponton: I consider her the most beautiful woman in the world. What about yourself?

Clouseau: No, I don't consider myself a beautiful woman. I have waited a long time to prove myself, and now I have been given the opportunity of a lifetime. I intend to show the world exactly who I am and what I can do. I must not fail." – “The Pink Panther”

Inspector Jacques Clouseau's quote: “Any more behavior like this and I'll have your stripes!” | Source: Youtube.com/sonypictures

"Stop browbeating her!" – Inspector Jacques Clouseau, “The Pink Panther”

"Any more behavior like this, and I'll have your stripes!" – Inspector Jacques Clouseau, “The Pink Panther”

"Ponton: Have you ever had a hamburger?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well, of course not. It's a disgusting American food." – “The Pink Panther”

Inspector Jacques Clouseau's quote: "A Woman is like an artichoke, you must work hard to get to her heart." | Source: Youtube.com/sonypictures

Throughout "The Pink Panther" franchise, Clouseau's character provides laughter and entertainment. His memorable quotes and endearing personality made him an icon in comedy.

In the '60s, “The Pink Panther" famously starred Robert Wagner, who also appeared in "With a Song in My Heart” and "The True Story of Jesse James." The Hollywood actor is now 90 and enjoying life with his grandkids.

Fans of light detective stories would likely enjoy "True Detective" as well. Read Detective Rust Cohle's quotes to learn more about the character's bleak musings.