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Schmidt's quote, "Words that have never been used to describe Schmidt: spontaneous, flexible, easygoing. I'm like a Marine." | Source: Facebook/OfficialNewGirl
Schmidt's quote, "Words that have never been used to describe Schmidt: spontaneous, flexible, easygoing. I'm like a Marine." | Source: Facebook/OfficialNewGirl

30 Schmidt Quotes: Fall in Love with the Fat-Kid-Turned-Ladies-Man All over Again

Milla Sigaba
Nov 12, 2023
11:00 A.M.
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Alongside dropping comedic gems to leave the audience laughing, Schmidt was also a great friend and often showed his softer and more vulnerable side when wooing his on-screen love interest. Read these 30 quotes that perfectly encapsulate his quirky personality.

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After catching her boyfriend in bed with another woman, Zooey Deschanel's character, Jessica Day, shacks up with an unlikely male friend group of three very different personalities.

While the former sitcom offered an array of characters to fall in love with, Schmidt's posh and pushy side, complimented by his wholesome love for those he cared about, made him one of the standouts. Continue reading for a trip down memory lane with 30 of his best quotes.

Schmidt's quote, "You're listening to the radio and writing with a pen. What decade are we in?" | Source: Amodays

Schmidt's quote, "You're listening to the radio and writing with a pen. What decade are we in?" | Source: Amodays

Iconic Schmidt Quotes

"Well, you have found my flabbergast button, and guess what? You've pressed it." — Schmidt

"It's like you're ripping the side block out of my mental Jenga! I'm totally falling apart!" — Schmidt

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"It makes me angry and scared all at the same time. Just like when I hear the phrase, 'Academy Award winner Anna Paquin.'" — Schmidt

"Man to man, you didn't wanna wear something, I dunno, a little more form-flattering? You know, like a pile of towels? The number eight?" — Schmidt

"You're listening to the radio and writing with a pen. What decade are we in?" — Schmidt

Schmidt's quote, "Can I take a moment to celebrate me?" | Source: Amodays

Schmidt's quote, "Can I take a moment to celebrate me?" | Source: Amodays

"Walk with dignity, you giant toddler!" — Schmidt

"Do you just walk around all day thinking about other people's feelings? How do you get anything done?" — Schmidt

"I'm not being overdramatic when I say I would rather sit naked on a hot grill than wear something off the rack." — Schmidt

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"Can I take a moment to celebrate me?" — Schmidt

"It was like listening to a rescue crew trying to communicate with a stranded miner. Are you ok? Yeah. Are you ok? Yeah!" — Schmidt

"Are you cooking a frittata in a saucepan? What is this prison?" — Schmidt

Schmidt's quote, "I can't talk right now. I'm writing a strongly worded email to my florist." | Source: Amodays

Schmidt's quote, "I can't talk right now. I'm writing a strongly worded email to my florist." | Source: Amodays

"Know this: your caveman ideas about manhood are so over. Manhood today is about exfoliation, cheese courses, emotional honesty, and Paxil." — Schmidt

"Guess whose personalized condoms just arrived?!" — Schmidt

"We're broenemies. He's my fremesis." — Schmidt

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"Words that have never been used to describe Schmidt: spontaneous, flexible, easygoing. I'm like a Marine." — Schmidt

"I can't talk right now. I'm writing a strongly worded email to my florist." — Schmidt

"Befriending Kanye is the most efficient way for me to jump social strata. Now all I have to do is meet him and then dazzle him to the point that we're each other's last call before bed." — Schmidt

Schmidt's quote, "When you care about somebody, you do what's best for them, even if it sucks for you." | Source: Amodays

Schmidt's quote, "When you care about somebody, you do what's best for them, even if it sucks for you." | Source: Amodays

Schmidt Quotes That Perfectly Sum Up His Love Life and Romantic Side

"Back in high school, they used to call me 'The Sex haver.'" — Schmidt

"Girl, I'mma marry you." — Schmidt

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"I'm a squirrel. You're my nut. Winter is coming. I'm gonna store you in my cheek, girl." — Schmidt

"I'm like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is like a unique experience." — Schmidt

"My whole life is you." — Schmidt

"When you care about somebody, you do what's best for them, even if it sucks for you." — Schmidt

Schmidt's quote, "Now, as my best friend, I expect you to be willing to sacrifice everything for me at a moment's notice, including, of course, unfortunately for you, your dignity." | Source: Amodays

Schmidt's quote, "Now, as my best friend, I expect you to be willing to sacrifice everything for me at a moment's notice, including, of course, unfortunately for you, your dignity." | Source: Amodays

More Schmidt Quotes

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go water my succulents." — Schmidt

"Without ash to rise from, the phoenix would just be a bird getting up." — Schmidt

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"The economy sucks, bees are dying, and movies are pretty much all sequels now." — Schmidt

"Now, as my best friend, I expect you to be willing to sacrifice everything for me at a moment's notice, including, of course, unfortunately for you, your dignity." — Schmidt

Schmidt's quote, "Beans are nothing but soggy nuts!" | Source: Amodays

Schmidt's quote, "Beans are nothing but soggy nuts!" | Source: Amodays

"Let's just say that my cousin doesn't have the most sophisticated palate. Raised by wolf-like parents in the wilds of Minnesota. He actually went to juvie for stealing the synagogue's minivan." — Schmidt

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"Beans are nothing but soggy nuts!" — Schmidt

Nick: "What does a man do about that pain?

Schmidt: Takes a bubble bath." — "New Girl"

"New Girl" quote, "Nick: What does a man do about that pain? Schmidt: Takes a bubble bath." | Source: Amodays

"New Girl" quote, "Nick: What does a man do about that pain? Schmidt: Takes a bubble bath." | Source: Amodays

"New Girl"'s characters will forever live on in our hearts through the form of their epic quotes. Actor Max Greenfield did an impressive job of bringing Schmidt to life and added a burst of color to the already hilarious cast of "New Girl," including Zooey Deschanel and Jake Johnson.

Sadly, "New Girl" came to an end in 2018 after 7 seasons. However, for more humorous quotes, here are 26 Funny 'White Chicks' Quotes Worth Travelling 'A Thousand Miles' to Read

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